Choice Points

Fuck you. Fuck all 44,362 of you. Every last damn one of you. I know everyone always starts with "read the first parts or you won't understand what's happening" but I say fuck that, and fuck you. What did you all reading the first parts EVER get for me and my friends?

Did any of y'all motherfuckers ever so much as try to find us? It's been FIVE YEARS.

Three vulnerable young women and we gave you a bunch of clues (well I did), the cinder block pattern, the region, even the names were real. "Wrack's until he releases you, or you find me?" I practically wrote you a goddamned map. But no. "Oh, so hot!" "I wanked off so hard to this story!" FUCK YOU.

You're getting your jollies off while we were being abducted and abused for the past half a damn decade. Fuck right off. And you self-righteous jerks with your "This is a fake premise. No one can be hypnotized against their will." FUCK YOU! Send me your email and I'll send you a tape. I have the receipts. You can see it happened, and I lived every damn minute of it for the last 4 and a half years. So fuck you.

****

Fine. I'm back. I'm angry about what happened to me. But in my calmer moments I know none of y'all are responsible for rescuing me. Heck, if Wrack thought my pitiful little clues would have given him away, he would have made me take them out before he made me post those stories anyway. At the beginning he used to ask me every week "Have you thought up any clever ways to escape?" And he compelled me to tell him. The first year I had at least one every week. I slowed down after that. By year three he only asked me once a month. And the fourth year I never had anything to tell him. At least I thought I didn't. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

****

If a paddle falls in a forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound? I've spent the better part of half a decade wondering if I made the right choice. If I wasn't cognizant of my situation, would it matter so much that Wrack was a sadist? Would I have chosen differently? To be blank like Cassie?

Of course the answer is no. If I was blank then I'd still be there, with Wrack's paddle rising and falling, rising and falling. Rising and falling. Rising. And Falling.

Fuck. It's still hard to avoid repetitive patterns, they draw me in, they draw me down, they take me deeper. But in the end I beat them and I beat him. But it took a long time.

What kind of a sadist was Wrack? I don't rightly know. In the end I met a number of sadists; you could consider me something of a connoisseur. The thing was that I didn't have enough information to make an informed choice when he proposed it.

'You're going to be enslaved, do you want to be conscious of it or not?' That's an inherently sadistic premise. And Wrack didn't force my choice, which was further sadism on his part. Instead he made me spend a week mindless, then he let me remember it all. And then he let me decide which way I preferred. That is seriously fucked up.

****

I remember that moment like it was yesterday, even though almost 5 years have passed. And I remember what happened next too.

"Slide over here on your knees" he told me, "and you're going to take my cock in your mouth. You're going to slide your lips down it as slowly as you can, no teeth, and every extra millimeter that I sink into your mouth, you're going to sink a little bit deeper into my control. And when you're all the way under, I'm going to use you every way I want to for the next week, and then I'll wake you back up and you get to decide whether you really want to be conscious of what I'm doing to you or not."

My brain was reeling. A choice? Between conscious knowledge and unknowing slavery?? That was no choice. But if I could think this clearly, maybe his hold was weaker than he thought.

But his cock was filling my vision now, and I could feel the slight burn of our institutional-quality rug on my knees, and my mouth was slightly open, and then the warm tip of him was in my mouth, and time slowed down. Down, down, down. Kate and Callie fuzzed in my peripheral vision, and Wrack's breathing slowed in a rhythm too, a slow nasal intake of breath, and "good girl" on the exhale. Over and over, down and down. Eventually I felt the hot soft tip bump the back of my palate, and Wrack was talking again, but the words disappeared. And so did I.

****

When I came back to myself, Wrack had a hand on my shoulder, gently shaking me, and I sat up. I was naked, my thighs ached and felt sticky, my head felt fuzzy. "It's time to decide," he said softly.

Decide what? And then it came back, all of it, all at once, in an overwhelming rush. He'd hypnotized my roommates, and then he'd conspired with them to hypnotize me. And then he'd broken into my dorm room and demonstrated to me that I was hypnotized. And now I had a choice. A terrible choice.

But something was wrong. The rug under my feet was soft and full, nothing like the gray abrader from my dorm. The lighting was soft and warm and subtle, not the glaring institutional fluorescent. And I was fully naked.

"What time is it?" I asked him. My mouth tasted like peanut butter, and the words came out slow.

"It's 6pm. And it's Friday."

"Oh fuck. What happened to the last... 6 days? What did you do to me??" My brain was groggy. None of this felt real.

"Do you want to know?" he asked gently. Even though he'd been my professor for a semester, it felt like the first real exchange we'd ever had. It was the real him, asking the real me if I wanted to know what my brain and body had been up to for almost a week. "I could just put you back under, forever. Is that what you want?"

But back then, I wanted control over my own life more than anything. "Tell me."

He whispered a word in my ear. Even after all these years I don't know what it was. Remember? Review? He liked simple memorable triggers. Whatever it was, I remembered. The past 6 days came back to me in a steady stream. I reeled.

****

Saturday afternoon, kneeling on the floor at his feet in our common room, his cock deep in my mouth, Callie and Kate beside me, the three of us flanking him. And him giving me a choice. And then he put me under. And now I could remember what that felt like - when he put me under, I felt things almost literally falling away.

Pieces of myself that had been like crutches, or a good down comforter. My unease silently deserted me. My shyness slid off me like a silken robe. My discomfort with my own sexuality was pulled from my unwilling mental hands like a plush toy from a toddler. When I think back on that first time, of course I remember snatches of conversation and stark images, but I am mostly left with feelings.

"Take your shirt off Sophia." His voice had a hunger in it. The tone was completely different. This was no longer my careful professor. My hands obeyed almost before he was done speaking.

"I have been so patient. And I am ready for my reward. Follow me pretty girl."

He pulled his cock out of my mouth and walked past me and into my room. And he knew which one it was. Only later would I realize how much planning he had done. Some days it felt flattering, but mostly it was disturbing.

"Lay on your back on the bed, with your head here on the side. When I fuck you for the first time it will be special." (for the record, it wasn't) "But I've waited too long already to come in that sweet mouth of yours, so I'm gonna start there. Tilt your head off the bed. Kate, Cassie..." He gestured to my... friends? Former roommates? Neighborly sex slaves? Betrayers? Regardless, they apparently knew what to do. Each of them knelt and took a nipple in their mouth, applying low gentle pressure.

"Let the pleasure build sweet girl, it will carry you right through any discomfort. Tilt your head back a little bit more, and open your mouth."

Suddenly his perfect cock was in my line of sight, and within moments it was in my mouth. And then things got fuzzier. I remember the buzzing, pulsing pleasure, and a torrent of slow, smooth words. His words stroked as deeply as his cock, promising more and more pleasure if only my throat opened a little bit wider, if only I accommodated, stopped gagging, adjusted myself to meet his needs, molded myself to suit him, became his, fully and deeply and totally.

Cassie and Kate fell away, and all that remained was the pleasure building, my aching need filling my brain, and the ever faster slide of his cock in my mouth. When he finally slipped into my throat, an orgasm hit me so hard I felt my legs vibrating, and my throat pulsing, and those little shooty stars that happen when you stand up too fast flew across my vision. My nipples were on fire and my clit was screaming "YOU PLEASED HIM!" His own release a moment later was almost an anticlimax.

And then he was petting my hair gently, and telling me how good I'd done, and all the wonderful things we were going to do together, and his other hand slid down my torso and into my underwear and the raw pleasure made my head come up sharply even after the intense orgasm moments before. Two fingers came out glistening wetly in the afternoon light. I watched them leave a sticky trail back up over my belly button and between my breasts and into my mouth, which I opened without him even asking. Salty. Erotic. Demeaning. I was just beginning to take his measure.

****

"Tell me Sophia, have you ever considered kissing a girl? Have you ever been attracted to a girl?"

"Yes."

"Have you acted on that desire or come close?"

"No."

My answers were short, curt. A part of me resisted him even now, when he had put me fully under. But of course, Wrack did not always appreciate resistance.

"I don't want to quibble with you every moment Sophia. Figure out what pleases me and do it. In this instance, I would like complete answers. Do not make me ask again."

The compulsion to tell him my deepest secrets was suddenly stronger than I thought possible, and I could feel myself literally humming with the desire for him to ask me another question.

"Tell me who you've fantasized about."

"My comms professor, and her TA. My RA's girlfriend. And all the people I've lived with."

Even now, as my words emptied from my mouth like water, I fought my desires, trying desperately to clip my answers as much as I could, knowing without a doubt that his questions would lead to a further violation. I was right of course, and it was almost immediate.

"Which of your roommates are you most attracted to?"

A tiny part of my brain was watching on in silence, and it was astonished that my answers flew from my mouth without hesitation.

"None of them. They all have different things I find particularly attractive. Julie really does have the nicest breasts I've ever seen. Oh my god, her nipples! I just want to take a bath in a pool of her nipples.

Cassie has exactly the body I want, the way her shoulders are so developed and the tone of her thighs, and her smile does something to my belly. You know those youtube videos where women are reading their favorite authors and someone's under the desk with a vibrator getting them off? That's how I feel about Cassie's smile. When I see it, it's like someone is secretly touching me, and I feel like I'm about to curl over in orgasm."

"And what about Kate?"

"Kate... Kate can fuck. You can tell in her eyes, in how much she focuses on you, you're the very center of the world when she's with you. Even though she hasn't done it yet, or I don't even know if you've fucked her, but when we used to talk about it, I could tell she would be good when she got the chance. If she was focused on pleasing you, there's no limits, it makes me shiver. But also, I want to see her being totally pleased, because if she turned that single-minded focus inward, it would be awe-inspiring."

So much for my resistance. I was gabbling away saying things I'd never even realized I was thinking. And in my desire to obey Wrack's command, I'd forgotten to even be embarrassed that the two women I was describing in lascivious detail were sitting less than three feet away.

Wrack nodded as I finished speaking and paused for a moment looking contemplative. Then he said "Very well. Cassie, I want you to make Sophia come once, using only your tongue and lips. I want it to take 30 minutes. Kate, you'll be sucking my cock. You can touch yourself too. Sophia, you will remain motionless except when Cassie moves your body to her liking. Oh, and you can say anything you want to say when it's happening."

"What the fuck? Are you serious?! No, no, no, you can't do this. You can't make Cassie fuck me against my will. Fuck you you rapist asshole, let me go. Let my friends go!"

That was my opening salvo, and it went on in that vein mostly unabated for the better part of 5 minutes. It didn't seem to bother Wrack in the slightest, his beautiful cock was incredibly hard, and regularly buried down Kate's throat. She had her hand down her panties, and I could see her fingers moving out of the corner of my eye.

Meanwhile Cassie had taken off my shirt and pants and moved me onto my belly. I felt a soft kiss at the base of my neck, and I could feel the warmth from her belly on my back. Her kisses moved across to my shoulder blade before sliding to the back of my ribs. My tongue was fully engaged in the process of cursing out Wrack when I felt Cassie's tongue slip between her lips and slide slowly down the last 5 vertebrae of my spine to rest in the little hollow at the base.

Her warm, wet tip circled my tailbone before sliding over my butt. I felt her push my legs apart until they were shoulder width, and I realized with a shock that I hadn't noticed her take off my panties. My attention switched from Wrack to Cassie in that instant, as I felt her warm moist breath hit my exposed pussy.

"Cassie, you're my friend, please don't do this," I begged her. "I'm not queer, I mean there's nothing wrong with that, I'm totally a good ally, but I'm not consenting, I do not want this." But it was as if she wasn't even there. And of course, she mostly wasn't. While I begged and pleaded, her slick tongue trailed across the inside of my thighs, moving closer and closer to my center in little circles. Her hair brushed across my lower back and butt, tingling and distracting me.

My words weren't having any effect on Cassie, but more than that, I was losing my own way. Lick by lick the background noises slipped away. I stopped hearing Kate's sucking noises, and Wrack's moans. I stopped seeing the grain of the hardwood floor in front of my nose, I stopped smelling the faint aromatic tang of the curry Wrack had ordered in for dinner. My entire being slowed down until I was only aware of the sensation of warmth and the building pleasure.

Every slick round stroke of her tongue moved me closer to release, and farther from caring about my hopeless plight. Freedom waited just around the corner, if I followed Cassie's tongue down the spiral. When Cassie stopped suddenly, I felt poised on the edge. Part of me wanted to ask her to continue, part of me felt relief. Then I felt her grip my shoulder and encourage me to turn over. And again I was torn. My shame hit me full force, but the little part of me that craved release was cheering, knowing that Cassie had orders to follow.

When I was on my back, Cassie's hair brushed my face as she kissed my neck, before slipping her mouth over my nipples, first one and then the other. When her teeth closed on a nipple too firmly, I came back to myself a bit, and noticed I was no longer pleading with her to stop, I was just saying her name over and over. When she moved lower, kissing my belly and sliding over to my hipbone, her name became breathier in my mouth.

And then she was turning, in her graceful way, to get a better angle between my legs, and her knees were suddenly beside my shoulder. Wrack's commands were so powerful I couldn't even move my head an inch, but from the corner of my eye I saw a long expanse of smooth thigh and rounded butt, and the faintest hint of her pudenda peeking out. And then my eyes rocketed shut as her tongue stopped it's teasing and began moving up and down my outer lips.

My exclamation of "Cassie" was breathier and throatier than intended, and I was still torn about finishing the sentence "No!" or "Yes!" The licking changed to gentle sucking, pulling my lips open even as the pleasure built. I felt her tongue delve deeper, the sensations almost too much to bear as more nerve endings were stimulated. When she added a bit of a head thrust to get her tongue deeper, my eyes shot open.

Cassie had adjusted her position again, and now had one knee on either side of my head. Framed completely in my view was her tanned thighs and glistening pussy. When my eyes fell on it I realized how deeply the smell was saturating the little pocket of air above my face. It was clean and sharp and appealing. Her lips were darker than the skin of her thighs, but softened in the center. My eyes involuntarily followed the line of her lips to rest on her engorged clit, from which a small drop of moisture was hanging, shaking as she worked her tongue deeper in my pussy.

My own tongue shot out of my mouth, straining to reach, wondering what the taste of her would be like, but I still could not move. The drop elongated like spittle and swayed with her shaking body, breaking free and landing just below my mouth. Quicker than thought, my tongue scooped it up; but before I could categorize the flavor and decide how I felt about it, Cassie's tongue in my pussy changed positions, and suddenly my breath was gone. My inner turmoil ended, and my words changed to a frantic chorus of "Right there" and "Don't stop!" as she worked the exact spot I wanted and needed.

Cassie certainly obeyed my commands, maintaining a steady pace and perfect pressure as my orgasm rapidly built. I found myself screaming as it tore through me, profanity gushing forth like liquid from my inert body. Above me, I saw Cassie's pussy pulsing, and a few more tiny drops of liquid landed on my face. I found out later that Wrack had conditioned her to come whenever she made another woman come, regardless of whether she was being touched or not.

Cassie gracefully dismounted, and I waited for my breathing to slow. But it didn't. Instead it got more labored and ragged, and it wasn't until I noticed a tear making its way down my cheek that I reconnected with my feelings. From somewhere behind me, Wrack's voice asked me what I was thinking. And words started pouring out of my mouth against my will.

"You complete asshole." I said, the words coming out between hitches of sobbing breath. "That is the most intimate and beautiful thing I've ever done with a human being, and maybe ever can do with a person I love, and you spoiled it. This is not what I wanted for my first time. I wish I could have tasted Cassie, I wanted to make her feel what I was feeling, I wish we could have been somewhere private without you and Kate, I wanted to look into her eyes, what if I'm a lesbian, I wish she wasn't yours, I am so sad, I wish someone would hold me. You are an unbelievable asshole, when I get free I'm going to..."

"Stop," said Wrack, and my mouth closed involuntarily. "Cassie, make Sophia come again. You can take up to 45 minutes. Come when she comes, and you can come as many times as you want before that - use her mouth however you see fit. Sophia, you cannot talk this time." And just like that, Wrack left me totally alone in my own head as Cassie's graceful body fitted once more to mine, and her pussy descended on my tear-streaked face. And to my horror, my tongue leapt up eagerly to meet it...