I heard Cassie come back late that night, and the next morning I heard Kate and Cassie talking her room. I heard tears at one point, and loud laughter too. Then they went off-campus to get some brunch. I debated when to bring it up with Kate, but couldn't decide. For several days, nothing happened. Whenever I caught Kate's eye, she shook her head, either unwilling or unready to talk about it. She asked me to have dinner with her Tuesday night though, in a different dining hall than we usually ate in.
"Ok Sophia, I've made a choice, and I want you to back me up on it," she began uncertainly, when we were seated eating our mystery nuggets.
"Of course Kate, we both want to do what's best for Cassie. Are you thinking we should go to the Dean of Students? Tell her parents? You know she doesn't get along with her mom at all..."
"No, I don't think so. After talking to Cassie, I actually think that she is doing what's best for Cassie. It turns out that she approached Wrackoff. No, it's true. She said that she went in to see him after that unit on abnormal sexuality, she was wondering if maybe she was asexual. You know how many guys have been hitting on her, and she's just not been interested. And she loved her high school boyfriend but they never really had sexytime, just some awkward petting. She thought maybe it was a medical condition... Anyway, she described the situation and he said she probably just needed to find someone she was interested in, maybe someone that felt really safe to explore with. Then Cassie said she asked Wrackoff if he would be that person. I asked her why, and she said that he was someone she couldn't be in a real relationship with, because of his age and position, so it made it really safe to be just about the sex. Plus he is pretty experienced. She told me it was really hard to convince him, but in the end he agreed, provided she kept it secret from everyone. Which I get."
"Oh my god. Cassie! I never would have expected that from her! That seems completely out of character. You, maybe, if you viewed it like a learning experience, but not her!" Kate gave me a funny look. "And she's definitely not asexual..." I broke off, I hadn't told Kate about Cassie masturbating while listening to Julie have sex.
"Well, I, uh, that's actually what I want to talk to you about Soph. I, I've been thinking, and... I, uh, I kinda want the same thing. I think I want what Cassie has. Mostly I want to learn more about sex. You know I've never done it, and mostly I've never even enjoyed being with boys in any way." I stared at Kate. Was she joking? But she continued, almost in a whisper, "That's why Marlo and I broke up. He wanted me to have sex, or at least to go down on him, and I refused. I just wasn't ready. Or, really, I am ready, but I don't know how. What if I did it wrong, what if I hurt him, what if he didn't like it? I just want some practice. I want to be better at it, I want to be the best at it."
I could see Kate's fierce desire to succeed, to be the best coming to the surface. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised. "I support you Kate, I just think you should take a little more time to think it through."
"Well, I have thought it through, all week. In fact, it's been hard to get it out of my head. And I think it's what I want. But I need some help from you."
"I'm not going to hold your hand Kate. I think this is a dangerous choice to make, it could have serious repercussions to your academic career; what if you're caught? He might lose tenure, but you could get expelled. What if he decides to tell for some reason? And what about Cassie?? Will this damage your friendship? Will she get jealous? Will you?? I don't want to lose a friend. Or two. We have something pretty special between the three of us."
"Cassie is cool with it. She said it has been absolutely amazing, and she wants someone else to experience it too. But I need your help with something else Soph... Professor Wrackoff... hypnotized Cassie. It's how he was able to help her over her discomfort. She said it was really powerful, and she remembers every bit of it, but it just removed the top layer of her inhibitions, and let her explore her sexuality in a really freeing way. That's what I need help with Soph, I'm too scared to be hypnotized. And I don't totally trust Wrackoff."
"That's the first smart thing you've said tonight Kate, but what can I possibly do for you. I'm no hypnotist."
"Well, I'm going to ask Wrackoff if I can tape our session. That will give me some insurance. And I'm wondering if you'd be willing to watch the tapes, to make sure that he doesn't do anything dangerous, or against my will, or makes me forget anything, or takes advantage of me."
"Kate, you're asking him to take advantage of you."
"Soph, please, I, I need this... I want this." Her voice broke, there were tears in her eyes. "You didn't see Cassie's face, you don't know what it's like to have someone tell you they are breaking up with you because you won't put out. Or what it's like to, to want to, to not know how. I need to do this Sophia."
What could I say to my best friend, begging me for a favor. And I did know what she meant. I knew what it was like to have all of those pressures on you to be the perfect girlfriend, to please your man. It was bullshit, all of it, but it sure felt real. "Of course I'll do it Kate, but I warn you, if he gets out of hand, I'm stepping in, whether that means the school or your parents or somebody, but I'm stepping in. And Cassie sure better know what she's doing to. I'm not losing you two to some weirdo professor."