Caleb 80 - Gordon.
"Well," said Jules, who had been standing un-noticed by our kitchen door, "Marcia called it."
"It was only a kiss," I told her. "I don't think it really counts."
"And you think that's where it will end?" she asked with a grin. "I'm guessing before the semester ends..."
"She's married," I argued softly. "I'm not going to interfere in that."
"You won't be," she said. "You might not have noticed, but I saw Chris watching through the bedroom window. He didn't look at all upset."
I glanced at the neighbor's house. There was nobody at any of the windows.
"Oh," I admitted. "No, I didn't see him."
"I guess you and they have something to talk about," she said.
"Maybe we do," I said thoughtfully.
I headed back into the house. Jules followed. I noticed the kitchen was empty with most of the girls being in the living room.
Jules sat down at the kitchen table and glanced at one of the other chairs meaningfully. I sat.
"How are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm good," I said. "I think. Why?"
"Are you?" She asked. "I know that you think you are okay, but are you really?"
I cocked my head to the side as she looked at me. "You think otherwise?" I asked softly, not arguing but interested in her opinion.
"You realize," she said, "that you've been about as interested in sex as I have since the shooting?"
I considered her for a few minutes, realizing that she was right. I'd not been in the slightest bit interested since that night. I'd been aware of things going on around me, the girls were perfectly happy to take care of themselves and each other, but I'd had no inclination to join in. Even now, I was thinking about it, I still had no interest.
I thought back to the kiss from Jane. Normally in the same situation I'd have been ready to go, even if I wasn't going to take advantage of that particular situation, but although I'd enjoyed the kiss in and of itself, it hadn't prompted any further desires on my part. I wondered about that.
"You think it's because of the shooting?" I asked.
"Isn't it?" she fired back. "Or have all five of us suddenly become completely unattractive to you, even when the twins and Melanie are actually going at it right next to you in bed?"
"Of course not," I said, wondering how that sight had not had me sat up and begging to join in. "I just don't..."
"It's okay," she said putting her hand over mine where it lay over the table. "Mom said that when Daddy came back from his last tour, it took him some time before he was interested again."
"You can't really compare..." I began but she shook her head.
"Yes," she said interrupting me, "you can. It may not have been on the same scale, but it was still an incredibly traumatic experience. I think you still need to talk this out with someone. I'm not sure if Dianna is the right person, she's too close. Maybe that woman you sent Danny to?"
"She's a grief counsellor," I said.
"She's a counsellor," Jules returned. "If she can't help, then maybe she can suggest someone."
"I don't know," I argued. "She has powers, and there's no way I'm dropping my shields for a power user I don't know."
"You don't have to," Jules replied. "Counselling isn't all about powers, is it?"
I chewed my lip. "I'll think about it," I said. Jules nodded, knowing that was probably the best she was going to get from me that night.
"Well," she said changing the subject, "are you still going along to your 'cooking lesson' tomorrow?"
I grinned at her. "Of course," I said.
"Good," Jules said, "because I think Ness would have exploded if you'd put it off."
I laughed. "She has been kind of looking forward to it," I said. "And to be honest so have I. I just hope he doesn't start shouting at Ness. I'm not sure I could stand by and watch him do that."
"Really?" Jules said. "You think Ness would stand back and take that kind of shit, even from him?"
I thought about that, about Ness, Little Miss Fierce who'd wanted to take on several armed men with a baseball bat.
"Probably not," I said with a laugh. Jules picked up my hand and kissed it.
"You know," she said. "If you don't want to go see a counsellor, you can always talk to us...to me. I may not have powers, or have qualifications in counselling, but I have something that none of them have."
"What's that?" I asked intrigued.
"I love you," she said simply gazing at me - her eyes liquid pools that I adored to gaze into. "No matter what you do, or say, or think, about what happened that night, I will always love you."
I pushed my chair back from the table, and Jules stood, came around the table, and climbed into my lap. It was her, and probably my favourite position for her. I always felt so much love from her even though she wasn't able to use any powers. It radiated from her like heat from the sun. I sometimes worried that I wasn't worthy of it, but I accepted it and basked in it all the same.
We sat like that for perhaps a half hour, not speaking. I wasn't really even thinking about anything in particular, just enjoying the closeness and her love. Eventually she turned her head up to me and gave me a gentle 'Jules' kiss.
"It's time you were in bed," she said. "You've got a big day tomorrow."
I laughed.
"Yes, Mom," I said and she poked me in the side, making me jump.
"Move," she said sliding off my lap and to her feet. "Don't make me get Ness."
"That's playing dirty," I said getting to my feet. "But I'm going."
I slipped past her, neatly dodging when she tried to swat my butt as I went by. I grinned at her, and danced out of the kitchen door, heading for the bedroom.
I slept well again, and for myself felt well. Jules' comments about my sudden drop in libido did prey a little on my mind, and I wondered about it. Talking to Pops, and then Jeevan and Meena, had dispelled a lot of the guilt I had felt at shooting Green, but obviously there was some lingering issues that even I wasn't a party to. Perhaps I would go speak to someone about it. I decided that if things hadn't changed by the time I went to the ranch, I'd speak to Pops again and, after that, if there was still a problem, I'd maybe go and see a counsellor.
Unusually Ness woke up with Sarah, Melanie and I.
"Is it time to get up?" she asked, excited like a kid at Christmas.
"Not yet," said Melanie, "unless you're coming out for a run with us?"
Ness screwed up her face. We could hear the rain against the window. It wasn't really windy but it wasn't exactly warm either.
"No thanks," she said. "I'll see you when you get back."
Sarah looked longingly at the bed. I could tell that she, too, would have liked to curl up and go back to sleep. Instead, she sighed and pulled on her running gear, ready to set to. As she bent over to tie the laces on her running shoes, I got an eyeful of her amazing ass, and something stirred in my shorts that I'd not felt for over a week.
"Stop ogling your sister's ass," said Melanie swatting me on my rear. "Unless, that is, you'd like to try a different type of exercise this morning?"
Sarah looked around, and blushed a little, but grinned.
"So," she said, "how does it score against the legendary Angela?"