Caleb 24 Rachel

Authors note:

Once again, I extend my heartfelt thanks to neuroparenthetical for taking the time to untangle my tenses and re-conjugate my verbs. The fact that his patience has lasted so long is a testament to his fortitude -- or maybe strong liquor [alas, my body can barely tolerate sugar these days, let alone anything stronger -- ed.]

As usual, I couldn't resist tampering with his finished article, so any errors, real or imagined, are mine and mine alone.

I am an attention whore, so please rate and leave comments.

Caleb 24 -- Rachel

I traveled with Jamie back to the house. She looked impressed when she pulled onto the drive.

"Jules' father must really like you," she observed. "This is one heck of a house."

I determined to have words with Jules later about that. I hadn't known that Pops had actually made me the legal owner of the house, thinking he had bought it for his daughter. I had assumed that once we were finished with it, he would either resell at a profit or rent it out.

Rachel was sitting in the kitchen when we entered. She looked nervous when she saw Jamie but steeled herself and stood. Jamie, for her part, looked Rachel up and down. I guessed that she was trying to see if she had been hurt in any way.

Jamie looked at me. "Is there somewhere private that Rachel and I can talk?" she asked.

"You could go out onto the deck," I suggested, "or into her room."

"Let's go to my room," said Rachel. "The others will be back soon, and I don't want them not to be able to sit out on the deck. It's a nice day."

The others arrived home while Rachel and Jamie were talking, and we sat out on the deck, chatting and catching up on our days. About forty minutes later, Rachel came out onto the deck.

"Caleb," she said. "Jamie asked if she could talk to you."

I followed Rachel back into her room. Jamie was sitting on the chair. Rachel had been obviously sitting on the bed, as there were no other seats in the room. Rachel closed the door behind us and sat once again on the bed. I, for the moment, remained standing.

"You didn't just stumble across Rachel, did you?" asked Jamie, her voice accusing.

I shook my head. "When you told me that the dean had had family trouble," I explained, "I did some digging. It took me no time at all to find out about Rachel."

Jamie nodded. "Okay, I can accept that," she said. "But how did you find her? The police weren't interested, and I'm sure that Steve Jackson didn't tell you."

I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my FBI ID. "I had help," I said, "but it was all off the record, so they wouldn't admit to it even if you asked."

Jamie looked at my ID. "You're a consultant with the FBI?" she asked in amazement.

I nodded.

"What exactly does a college student consult the FBI about?"

"I'm not really supposed to talk about it," I said, "but it does mean that sometimes I can find things, or people, that perhaps may be difficult for others to find."

"Why?" asked Rachel.

"Why what?" I asked.

"Why did you come and look for me?" she queried. "You didn't know me. My dad was harassing you about whatever. What made you come to find me?"

"Your dad had nothing to do with it," I said. "I heard that there was someone who might be in trouble, and I wanted to make sure they were okay. If, when I had found you, you had been happily shacked up with some dude, then you would never even have known I was there."

"You wouldn't have told my dad?" she asked.

I shook my head. "You are a big girl, Rachel," I said. "I only wanted to make sure you were safe. If you had been, then, like I said, you and I would never have met."

"Rachel showed me all the stuff you bought her," Jamie said. "That was a lot of money to spend on a complete stranger."

I grinned. "You remember Jules telling you that her Daddy was rich?" I asked. "Well imagine how a rich, grateful father would treat the boy he thinks saved his baby girl's life. The house wasn't the only gift. The money I spent on Rachel didn't even register."

That was obviously not true, but I thought it was an easier explanation than the truth, which was something that people had a real issue believing existed: true altruism. I really didn't want anything from Rachel - or her father, for that matter. My motivations had been exactly what I had said they were.

"I don't think I believe you," said Jamie. "Oh, I believe Jules's father gave you the house, and maybe money too, but you started that hypnotherapy business because you needed money. I actually think you did it for another reason."

"You think I want something from her," I asked, "or her father?"

Jamie shook her head. "No," she said gently. "I believe that you did it because it was the right thing to do, and that you are hiding that fact because you know that the world is too cynical to accept that as motivation for anyone these days.

"Rachel told me she offered herself to you - both when she first arrived and then again this morning. You turned her down both times. Why?"

"If she told you that," I answered, "then she told you what I said to her at the time. I didn't lie to her. I wasn't about to take advantage of a terrified and defeated woman. She didn't want sex that first night; she just wanted her nightmare to be over. I needed to show her it already was. As for this morning, well, Rachel has been through a lot. I am not going to exploit someone vulnerable. If a lively, well-adjusted, happy and whole Rachel invited me to her bed, then I'd be there in a shot. But I don't think this Rachel is quite there yet."

"And how would your other girlfriends react to that?" she asked.

"Amanda and Mary would probably join in," I said, "as long as Rachel was okay with that. Jules would watch."

Jamie shook her head. "You have a very unusual arrangement."

"We all love each other," I said. "That's what makes it work."

"Rachel asked me to tell you that it was all right for you and her to have sex," Jamie said, still barely believing she was uttering the words. "I can't do that. As you rightly pointed out, she is still confused and emotional. So much has happened to her over the last three months."

I nodded. "I figured as much."

"So, when do you want me to move out?" asked Rachel.

"The day you feel that you want to, and have somewhere safe to go. We're here for at least another two years. If it is going to be longer, then we'll have to figure something out."

"And how is she going to pay for that?" asked Jamie.

"The house is paid for," I said. "It costs no more with six living here than five. Rachel did eat a lot the first day, but she's leveling out now. She's not that expensive to keep. I don't know her, but I suspect that once she finds her feet, she'll want to get herself a job, and possibly find her own place. When she's ready, we'll help her move. Until then, she has us."

"Can I still sleep in your bed?" asked Rachel.

Jamie's eyes widened. I don't think Rachel had told her about that.

"Rachel got scared sleeping alone," I explained. "Her first night, Jules went and slept with her, but Jules wasn't happy being separated from the rest of us. So, Rachel slept in with us last night. And the answer, Rachel, is yes - on condition that you promise me that I am not going to wake up inside of you one morning."

"Just how big is your bed?" asked Jamie.

I grinned. "Sometimes, not quite big enough," I said, but then I took a more serious tack. "What are you going to tell the dean?"

"That I have met with Rachel," Jamie said, "and that she is safe."

"And when he asks where she is?" I asked.

"I'll claim patient confidentiality until Rachel is ready to see him," she said.

"Are you going to tell him what happened to her?" I queried.

"I could," she said, "if Rachel asked me to."

"Rachel?" I turned to her. "Maybe it would be better coming from someone else. Perhaps he could get used to the idea before you have to meet him face to face?"

"What do you think?" she asked Jamie.

"I think it might be better coming from you," she said. "I'll tell him if you need me to, but in reality he needs to hear from you that you know that you messed up, and you need to hear from him that he still loves you."

"That's just it," she said. "I'm not sure he will when he finds out what happened."

"You told me he loved you," I said. "I doubt that is going to change. Besides, he has been out of his mind with worry for two months. He'll be happy to have you back."

"I'm scared he'll be angry with me," she said.

"It's okay for people who love each other to be angry," I said, drawing from personal experience. "It doesn't mean they love you any less. Remember that whatever happens, you have a safe place here with us. When you are ready, perhaps Jamie could set up a meeting on neutral ground."

"Here?" Rachel asked.

"I have no objections," I said. "But if you do it here, he will always know where to find you."

"I feel safe here," Rachel said, "with you."

I looked at Jamie, and she gave me a half smile. "Rachel, can I talk to Caleb for a little while?" she asked.

I got up. "Let's let Rachel clean up for dinner," I said, and led Jamie out of Rachel's bedroom and into ours."

"Wow!" said Jamie. "That is a big bed."

I laughed. "It doesn't feel like it sometimes." I indicated one of the chairs, and I took another.

"Rachel is fixating on you just now," she said. "Her 'knight in shining armor.'"

"How long will that go on for?" I asked.

"Who knows?" she said "Maybe a few weeks, maybe more. I do know that you are the key to her current mental well-being. She was abused badly while she was in that squat - not physically or sexually, but mentally. She had been abandoned by someone she thought loved her, and the others there wouldn't let her forget it. Had you not been there when they finally threw her out, I don't know what she would have done. She told me that she was contemplating stepping out into traffic."

I sighed. "So, what can I do?"

"Be gentle with her," she said. "As if I needed to tell you. You have, either by accident or design, done everything right so far. But as much as I told her she shouldn't have sex with you, if she really needs it, I think you should. A rejection when she is this vulnerable would be devastating.

"She needs to go and see a doctor and get checked over. I'm not sure if she had any postoperative care following her termination, and at the same time, it would probably be wise to get her checked for all the usual STDs. If Mr. Jenkins is the horndog I think he is, then it is possible he may have infected her.

"I would advise against trying to help her with your hypnosis. While I know you are good at inducing a hypnotic state and leaving post-hypnotic suggestions, it would have to be done at least in conjunction with a trained professional. Perhaps, if her condition warrants it, we might work together to help her.

"I think it is too early for her to meet with her father. If he reacts badly, then I think it would do untold harm. She needs time to become secure again. She needs a support network of people who love her. Are you willing to be that network?"

"What exactly are you asking?" I asked.

"You have a unique environment here, full of love," she said. "You helped Jules recover, and now she is thriving - a strong, healthy, balanced young woman. I wouldn't have thought it possible that such an arrangement could exist, but it does. Can't you do the same for Rachel?"

"I am more than prepared to let her live here," I responded after a moment, "and keep her physically safe, warm, and fed. But now you are saying there should be more? First, you tell her it's a bad idea for her to have sex with me, and now you are saying it's a bad idea for me to refuse her. Are you really asking for us to bring her into our family?

"I don't think you understand the dynamic of our relationship. Yes, we are polyamorous, but that doesn't mean that we just pick people at random and include them. It's so much more complicated because there are so many more people to consider. I have four girls to think about, and they are my primary concern.

"Yes, I am concerned for Rachel, but I can't put her well-being above that of my girls. I will do all I can to help her, but I already told her that our family is closed to admission. As for sex, I can't do that either. I'm not worried about STDs; that's a transient concern. If she has them, she will get treated, unless he gave her something really nasty. But that's not the point. The point is that she is fixated, and my having sex with her will only increase that fixation. You seem to think I'm a kinder, gentler version of Steve Jenkins."

"You're a very healthy college-aged boy that's already having sex with multiple partners on a regular basis," Jamie said dryly.

I didn't want to concede the point, but I at least took a beat before responding. "Think back, Jamie," I said. "It would have required almost no persuasion that day in your office to have you wrapped around me, but I didn't. I didn't because it would have been the wrong thing to do, for you. My girls would have hi-fived me and asked me for a blow-by-blow account, but it would have damaged you, and that is why I didn't.

"If you are asking me - asking us - to love her, we can do that. But it will be a filial love. I won't rebuild her life by destroying ours."

Jamie looked at me for a long time. She had blushed at the mention of the afternoon in her office, but she seemed to be considering my words.

"You are right," she said. "I don't - can't - understand the nature of a polyamorous relationship. I guess I fell into the media trap of believing that it's one horny guy, and a number of groupies."

I shook my head. "I love Jules," I said, "and Mary and Amanda and Ness. Jules loves me, but she also loves Mary, Amanda, and Ness. Amanda loves Me, Jules, Mary, and Ness. Ness loves the three of us equally. It's not just me with groupies who tolerate each other. We all love each other equally. That is a completely different dynamic than you envision. Our relationship works because of that love. When Mary sees me with Amanda, she's not jealous, because she loves us both, and is happy to see us having a good time." I neglected to mention that she felt the orgasms anyway. I could see how that tidbit actually weakened my argument.

She nodded slowly. "Then all I can ask is that you support Rachel the best way you can," she said finally. "Your reasoning for refusing to sleep with her is sound, surprising as I find it. It may certainly increase her fixation on you. Please, though, when the time comes - and it will - be gentle with how you deal with it. I know you will; you have done nothing but be gentle with her, but she is exceptionally fragile. I'll text you the number of a doctor. I'll let her know to expect your call. The university will take care of the medical bills; I'll get the dean to sign off on it. He will when he knows it's for his daughter."

"Send me the number," I said, "and I'll get her booked in."

We both stood.

"I'm making some dinner," I offered. "Would you care for some?"

She thought about that for a few moments, then accepted. Her curiosity about our household's dynamic was flying off of her like a spark. It was both a color in her aura and a thought in the air.

"Rachel," I called as we left our room, "I'm making dinner. Thirty minutes, okay?"

"Okay," she called back. She was in the bathroom, probably in the bath. She spent a lot of time in the bath.

For only the second time, our dining table was full. Josh and Louise also joined us, and Louise, thankfully, decided to keep her clothes on. I had been doing all of the cooking in the house, and so my knife skills - not to mention all the other associated motor skills that were needed to complement the knowledge I had 'stolen' from Daisy - were coming along nicely. I was actually scheming to get more knowledge and was wondering how I might get memories from more experienced chefs in the future.

Jamie spent a good portion of the meal watching the interactions between us all. I had warned my girls to keep all communication verbal, so as to give nothing away. It was going to be a bit of a struggle while Rachel stayed with us to be more circumspect regarding our powers, but I was sure we could do it.

After dinner, Jamie thanked us all for our hospitality and gave me her doctor friend's number. "I'll call her tonight," she said, "so she will be expecting your call tomorrow."

I thanked her for that, and she left.

"How do you feel?" I asked Rachel after Jamie was gone. We had gone outside onto the deck. Jules had come too, but the others were watching some reality television show that didn't appeal to us.

"A little better," she said. "It was good to tell someone. I know I told you, but that was different. Somehow it feels like you are on my side. I needed to tell someone neutral if that makes sense."

"I'm glad you feel like we are on your side," I said. "Jamie said that you should go and get checked by a doctor."

"I know," she answered. "She said the same to me. I didn't have any check-ups after the procedure, and he might have given me something." She made a face. "That would really put the icing on the cake. Maybe I should go and have a chat with his wife - tell her what he has been up to."

"Will that make you feel better?" I asked. "Hurting her?"

She looked at me for a moment before shaking her head. "Him," she said. "Him, I want to hurt - for everything he did to me, and most likely others as well. His wife... I guess she is as much a victim of that sleazebag as I am."

"Did you ever hear the saying that the best revenge is a life well-lived?" I asked, and she shook her head. "I read it somewhere, and it stuck with me. Don't concern yourself with wasters and fools. They will eventually destroy themselves. Live your own life and live it well, and you can look back and laugh at those idiots as you leave them behind."

"Who said that?" asked Jules.

"Me," I said. "Just then. Didn't you hear?"

They both laughed.

We sat chatting on the deck for the rest of the evening, the twins joining us after their dose of television tripe. I left them to their chat, intending to spend an hour on Wolfenstein. I had to admit that I was starting to enjoy it. It was surreal and bloodthirsty and gave me an outlet for my anger and aggression. I could kill Nazis all day long with no guilt. The robot dogs, well, maybe a twinge here and there.

I got so engrossed trying to finish the particular mission I was on that I lost track of the time. By the time I got killed, I realized that two hours had passed and it was way past my normal bedtime.

At some point, someone had come and placed a cup of coffee beside me, but I had been so fixated on the game that I hadn't even noticed. I looked away from the screen, still seeing the afterimage of the HUD. Blinking, I tried to clear my vision, but it wouldn't go away. I still had the armor bar and the health bar, although against the background of the room they looked slightly different.

I blinked again, trying to rid myself of the afterimage, and then actually considered the two indicators. They had no legends. There were two bars, one beside the other, which was different from the Wolfenstein UI, where the bars were one above the other. It finally clicked: I had finally done it. I could see some indicators of my current status. Both bars were full, and since neither was labeled and both were simple white bars, I had no idea what either signified, but they were there. I could finally tell Maggie that I had succeeded, nearly two months after I had started. I hoped that meant I could start my Healer training in earnest.

I stretched and looked around. The house was quiet. Everyone else, it appeared, had gone to bed. That was a reversal of the norm. I had a quick shower in the main bathroom, so as not to disturb anyone, and sneaked into the bedroom.