Authors note.
As always my thanks to Neuroparenthetical, whose untiring vigilance makes my illegible scribble readable. Any residual errors are left there purposely in order to give you guys something to do.
Enjoy. - and please, whatever you feel about the story feedback is always appreciated. I can't improve if I don't know where I am going wrong.
Caleb 17 - The prodigal return
I was stunned. Over and over, I examined the memory. There was no doubt. It had been my power that had been in play. It appeared that I had done exactly what I had suspected Mary of doing. It was my thought that I wanted the twins in my life that had set the ball rolling, and I had somehow implanted it into the twins.
I pondered where that left me. As Jules had said, all we knew about the bond was that the participants had to be willing, but we didn't know what they had to be willing to do. Was just the willingness to have sex enough, or did it require the willingness to be tied to the other person? Even if that were the case, would that willingness in Mary indicate love, or just that she was willing to sacrifice herself to make sure another evil Stott wasn't let loose on the world? It seemed for every answer we got, another two questions came with it.
"Well?" asked Jules, breaking into my thoughts. I realized that I had been pondering for some time and they were waiting for a response.
"It came from me," I said resignedly. "It was my own thought - my own desire. There was no other power active on me."
"No
other
power?" asked Jules. "Why? What power was already active?"
"My own," I said. "I guess that is how we ended up sharing with Dianna and my mother."
Mary spoke. "We have been over our memories of that morning, time and time again. I saw that thought occur to me, and to Amanda. We thought the timing was purely because of our bond to each other. We often think of things at the same time. I didn't see you push it onto us, but I was looking at your Compulsion. What if it was your Telepathy? That is much more subtle, and we very well could have missed it."
"I didn't have Telepathy then," I argued.
"You didn't
know
you had Telepathy then," she responded. "You didn't know you had Compulsion until Angela flashed her ass."
Jules looked at me. "So isn't that the answer you were looking for?" she asked, and then looked disappointed when I shook my head.
"Not completely," I said, a feeling of dread building inside. "It answers the question about why we all thought we wanted a long-term future together." I looked apologetically at the twins. "I am so sorry."
"Caleb," Mary said gently, "I know you don't believe me, but I was thinking that well before we went into the bedroom. Both Amanda and I made a decision long ago, that no matter what else we got up to, we would save our virginities for the person we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with. We had already decided to give that to you."
"But what if..."
"What if afterward you said you didn't want commitment?" she asked, and I nodded.
"That's not you, Caleb," Amanda said. "Your sexuality had given you multiple opportunities to give your virginity away, and you didn't. We could both see that you also were saving yourself. It's possible you didn't even know it yourself, but you were.
"That's why Mary was so nervous when she asked you if you would share your first time with us. It has such a deeper meaning for all of us than perhaps you realized at the time. You may have planted that thought in our minds at that instant, but all it did was reinforce what we already knew."
I took a deep breath. So many thoughts were rattling around in my head, not least of which was the possibility that I had been solely responsible for the bond.
"Okay," I said, "I'm sure that Dianna said something about those to be bonded needing to be virgins."
"It said that in the grimoire as well," said Jules.
"According to the diary," I recapped, "the participants needed to be willing, but as you said, a willingness to be there doesn't indicate love. It could just have been lust. It's a step forward for me at least to know my desire to be with the girls was mine and not planted, but it still doesn't prove that the love I see through the bond from Mary is true."
Amanda looked from Mary to me. "Why just Mary?" she asked. "If you can't be sure about Mary, why are you sure about me?"
"There's no easy way to answer that," I said, "but you know what I said to Dianna. I know I love you, and I am certain in my heart that you love me, almost despite, rather than because of, what the bond is showing me."
"If you can be that certain," she asked, her eyes filling with tears, "then why can't you be sure about my sister? How can you doubt her? She loves you just as much as I do. I feel it through our bond - hers and mine."
"He doesn't doubt the love," Mary said quietly, placing her hand on her sister's arm, "he just doesn't trust its origin, and therefore doesn't trust it, or me. As he said to Dianna, everything that has happened could be explained in one of two ways. Either I'm a cynical, lying, manipulative bitch, doing my best to uphold the Everson tradition of keeping the Stott bloodline under our heel, or I'm a loving, caring girlfriend, making choices - not necessarily the right ones, but with the motive of keeping my love safe and whole. The only difference is the love I feel for him. If it's not real, then I'm the former, if it is real, then the latter."
Jules slumped back in her chair. "So, I failed," she said. "I'm so sorry."
"It's not over yet," I said. "We still have one lead left. Let's see what we can find out about what happened between Edward and Sarah after they married, and how she died. That could maybe give us a clue."
We ate dinner in a subdued mood. Amanda was clinging to Mary like I might be about to evict her from the house, but I understood. She was caught in the middle and didn't know where to turn. Jules didn't seem to be taking any side, talking to us both like she had before, and not acknowledging any dispute between us.
After dinner, Mary and I cleared up, not speaking at all, and then I went for a shower before retiring to bed. It was early even for me, but for some reason, I was drained, and not in the Dianna definition of the word.
Josh and Louise had gone out earlier in the day and had not returned by the time I went to bed. They were still on summer break, and because they hadn't run away, they had already taken their exams. I settled into bed, alone for once, and considered what I had learned. My thoughts about having the girls in my life had been truly mine. That made me happier than I thought it would. I really had wanted to be with them. It had not been a Compulsion or some other mind-control artifact that had made me feel that. If what Mary had said was true, then so had her and Amanda. But again, although I'd never for a second doubted Amanda's motives, what of Mary's? Was she a loving girlfriend or a fanatic, willing to give up her entire life in order to remain in control of someone like me? I wouldn't put it past her family to do such a thing. They had a young man - whom I suspected wasn't even gay - prepared to be a gay lover to me if that proved to be my preference. It seemed there was no end to their willingness to 'take one for the team.' I sniggered to myself as the thought that he would have had to take a lot more than one crossed my mind.
Mary and Jules were on either side of me when I awoke the next morning. Amanda was behind Jules, which was a favorite spot for her. I gazed down into the sleeping face of Mary. She was so beautiful that my breath caught. Although they were twins, and to everyone else Mary and Amanda were identical, to me they were totally different. Both of them were beautiful but in different ways. I sighed and slipped out from between the girls to start my daily regimen.
Just before eight, I showered and dressed. We were all going to travel together and have breakfast in the cafeteria before the day's exams.
The day passed pretty much as expected, with one exception. I did something that I had never done before. I read my own mind. It was in the first exam when I was trying to remember a specific date. I knew I had read it, but I just couldn't recall when so pulling up the memory was a non-starter. I would have had to have to sift through months of memories to find it.
Briefly, I toyed with the idea of 'peeking' into the head of the lecturer, who was invigilating the exam. I knew it would be in there, and that I could retrieve the information in a matter of seconds with nobody being any the wiser. I shook my head; I wasn't going to do that to someone without their knowledge.
Then the thought struck me: if I could find that information in the head of someone else, was it possible for me to find it in my own? I turned my awareness inside and started to look around. The first thing I noticed about my own mind was that it was a goddamned mess. Random thoughts, facts, and information just lay scattered around like so much litter. I determined that I needed a good cleanup, but not just then. I needed that particular nugget. Suddenly, there it was: the information I had been looking for, lit up in neon lights. I couldn't understand how that could be, but I also wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Exiting my own head, I began to write. The rest of the exams went much easier after that.
Something changed on day two of the exams.
An invigilator sat watching me - just me. There was one for the room, but there was a second one, who sat at the front, but always somewhere that he had a clear view of me. On the odd occasion that I glanced up, his eyes were always on me. I thought it a little odd but continued as I had the day before, answering the questions easily with my newfound access to every piece of information I had ever read, seen, heard, extrapolated, or imagined.