Caleb 12 - Meet the Parents

Authors Note

As always my thanks go to Neuroparenthetical, for the amazing work in turning my random thoughts and ideas into something half readable. Any residual mistakes are mine and mine alone, and you are welcome to them

Caleb 12 - Meet the Parents.

I sat in the back seat, staring out the window as the scenery flashed by unnoticed.

Mary had taken my hand and was holding it between hers. I had felt her flex her power and had been ready to reject it, but all I felt from her was love, and just then I needed that. I needed the reassurance that what we had was real. I had been badly shaken by the illusion.

I considered all that I had learned. From birth, I had been manipulated. Granted, for most of that time it had been more of an omission than an active form of manipulation, but I was going to have words with my parents. I had been denied knowledge of who I was - of what I was. I had been denied access to family members: aunts, uncles, cousins, and, yes, even great-great-grandmothers.

They'd claimed it had been so I wouldn't use my powers, and on one hand I could see the point. But they wouldn't have had to tell me about the amulet. They could have prepared me, telling me it was a maturity thing - that when my body was ready, it would allow me access to the powers. I had never seen the amulet as anything more than a birthmark, after all. The hypocrisy of that thought struck me. There was I, furious at being lied to, now advocating more lies - or at least different ones.

The more I thought about it, the more I utterly rejected the logic of hiding the existence of powers from a future power user. It was a system shock - gigantic lies revealed at a pivotal developmental moment, some of which were reinforced by the entire world.

Worse, the manipulation hadn't ended there. Next, I considered the twins.

My deep love for them wasn't enough to stop the dark thoughts from surfacing. Sending those two after me had simply been another way to control me. Dianna - and probably everyone above her, too - had looked to exploit a primal, fundamental weakness that a teenage male was almost certain to have. I briefly wondered who might've been on deck if I'd turned out to be outright gay.

Even if the bond itself hadn't been deliberate, Maggie must have pretty much orgasmed when she'd heard about it. 'Bond' was, perversely, exactly the right word. It was a leash. If ever I couldn't be manipulated directly, then she'd have a second and third bite at the apple with Mary and Amanda, respectively. She could work them psychologically or emotionally, or resort to even less savory means. I was sure she would if it came down to it.

After that, I had been manipulated into becoming a 'Consultant.' Dianna had used my desire to help Jules to force me to accept everything that I had, less than thirty minutes prior, finally rejected. My mother had brokered the truce. That was someone else I had lost respect for and trust in - and my father too, almost certainly.

I knew I had been thinking about getting into law enforcement, and I had to admit the FBI had been on my radar, but now they were the last organization I wanted to work with. I was increasingly concluding that I wouldn't have a choice in the matter. The phrase 'With us or against us' kept running through my mind, and I had no illusions that I could hold the entire U.S. government at bay, no matter how powerful I was.

I could probably tout my powers to other countries, but I doubted that the politicians and military leaders there were any different than in the U.S. Besides, I didn't want to leave the country. Despite my current 'disagreement' with the administration, I liked it here.

A memory of me standing in school - I guess I must have been about five - hand on heart, reciting the pledge of allegiance, sprang into my mind. I had known even then that I wasn't just reciting words - that they'd meant something. I asked the hard question: did they still?

My silent response was immediate: of course they did. I wasn't mad at the U.S. I supposed I wasn't even mad at the FBI. I was mad at certain people within that organisation. But I had talked myself into a corner. I had sworn never to work for them.

As much as I hated to admit it about myself, I'd also put my own pride on the line. I was extremely reluctant to swallow it.

I sighed, feeling Mary's hands tighten on mine.

"Are you ready to talk now?" she asked quietly.

I realized that we had been traveling in complete silence for some time. I couldn't guess how long. Nobody had spoken a word since we had set off. Amanda must have had some idea of where we were going because she hadn't asked for directions.

I turned my eyes to Mary. "I'm tired, Mary," I said. "Tired of all the bullshit, of the pissing contests, of being treated like a winning lottery ticket and an unexploded bomb all at the same time. I have been persuaded, cajoled, bullied, forced, driven, and pushed down a road I never wanted to travel, and lied to my entire life.

"I am certain that you and Amanda were part of it too," I said quietly, "before the bond, at least. The easiest way to control a horny guy is by leading him around by his dick. You guys have a very liberal attitude toward sex, and Dianna even told me that we weren't supposed to fuck that morning. You were just meant to get me so hooked on the pair of you that I would be controllable.

Mary didn't look away, but she didn't deny it either.

I closed my eyes wearily, dropping my head back against the headrest.

"I guess we really screwed up getting bonded, huh?" I said. "It screwed you, tying you to a guy who was no more than a passing fancy and an assignment for your grandmother, and screwing me not only by tying me to two girls who I now know didn't love me, but also creating the biggest Achilles' heel ever to plague a power user."

I glanced across at Mary. Tears were streaming down her face, and she was making no attempt to wipe them away. She was still projecting strong feelings of love, but I could feel pain through the bond from both of the twins. I knew they were probably feeling my pain equally.

Only Jules had been honest with us when she joined our relationship, but we had not been honest with her. We had portrayed ourselves as people who were deeply in love with each other, but I didn't really know if that was the case. It was just more difficult, painful questions: was the bond love? Was it a perfect substitute for it, if not?

More likely, it was a Compulsion foisted upon us by a ritual designed to maintain the sanctity of marriage in a bygone era.

I looked at our bond, seeing it for the first time, not as a boon - a blessing, something to be treasured - but as cancer - something that had infiltrated my being and sent its tendrils out, sapping my life force and intertwining itself so completely in my being that the only way to remove it would be to kill the host.

"Will you share with me what happened?" Mary asked.

"To what end?" I replied. "Will it change anything? Will you be able to tell me how I can get out of this cesspool I am currently drowning in? Will it get rid of the bond?"

Both girls gasped at that, and I felt the car jerk a little. Amanda's reaction twitched the steering wheel.

"Amanda," I heard Jules say; she sounded angry. "Pull over at that diner. We need a break."

Amanda pulled in and parked, and we all piled out of the car, sad and angry. I was sure the waitresses were not happy to watch us come in.

Jules led us all the way down to the end of the diner, as far away from everyone else as we could get, and directed me to slide into the seat of a booth. She slid in beside me. Mary and Amanda sat opposite.

We sat, staring, regarding each other for a few moments until the waitress made the trek down from the other end of the diner. She didn't seem thrilled by the extra walking, but she felt the vibe. She understood why we'd given ourselves some distance.

"What can I get ya?" she asked.

"Four coffees and some privacy, please," Jules said handing the waitress a hundred-dollar bill. "Keep the change if you can close this section off?"

The waitress nodded, brought us our coffees, and then pulled out a rope to close the section off, ensuring that there nobody could sit within four booths' distance from us.

Jules turned to me. "Caleb," she asked gently, "do you love me?"

I looked at her, dumbfounded.

"You know I do," I said.

"How do I know?" she asked. "How do I know that you just didn't bring me in because you pitied me, because you felt responsible for me, having talked me down off that roof?"

"Jules, I thought you could feel it," I said. "I thought you could tell by the way we talk, the way we are together, and the things we do for each other."

"But we never have sex," she persisted. "So how can you?"

"Love isn't all about sex and you know that," I said, becoming a little irritated. "You know I love the way you are. I love the way you snuggle up to me, the way you're not afraid to tell me the truth - no matter what that truth is - the way you look, your eyes... I love everything about you."

"So, you're sure you love me?"

"Jules, what's this about?" I demanded.

"Do you think I love you?" she ignored my question, obviously she was leading up to something.

"Yes," I said, deciding to just answer her questions and let her lead me where she wanted to go.

"Why?" she asked. "Why do you think that I love you, and am not just using you as a safe person to hide with until something better comes along?"

"I can feel it," I said.

"Through our bond?" she asked.

"Yes, through the bond, but also outside that. When I am with you, I can feel the love almost radiating off you. When I hold you, or you snuggle up on my lap. When you kiss me or hold my hand, or even just look at me, I can see it."

She nodded.

"Look at that love," she said. "Look closely, and compare it to the love you feel for, and from, Mary and Amanda. Tell me what is different about the love you have for me, and the love you have for them."

I had walked into it.

"They are bonded to me," I explained, "so even if the love feels the same, its source may be due to psychic meddling rather than genuine feelings. Not only that, but they're Empaths. They can radiate psychic feelings on command. They can surround somebody in a bubble of warmth, love, trust, safety, and security no matter how they actually feel about them, or even what's going on all around them."

The twins didn't like that; it leaked through. Amanda reacted viscerally. Mary was more measured.

"But you're powered too," she countered. "You're wise to their tricks. You know they don't do it all the time."

I nodded; it was a fair point.

"So that leaves the bond," she said. "Tell me why that matters."

I opened my mouth to answer but had to take a second to think.

"Because they didn't want it in the first place," I finally came up with, although even to me that didn't seem to be right.

"You think that everyone who falls in love wants to?" she asked. "Never heard of arranged marriages, extramarital affairs, holiday romances? Do you think I went up on that roof hoping to fall in love? People fall in love all the time for all kinds of reasons. The reason for falling in love doesn't matter. Also, didn't Dianna tell you that the bond would only work if all parties wanted it to? If they didn't have feelings for you, they could never have been bonded in the first place. You showed me the memory. I remember you realizing that you wanted the girls in your life long-term, before you were bonded.

"The fact is that you love them, and they love you, and that love is true and unassailable. Yes, it's enforced by the bond, but that should give you more confidence in them, not less. You are in a far better position with them than any other person in the universe is with their lover or lovers. You are in a better position with them than even with me. I could move on, fall out of love - they cannot.

"Something happened today to make you doubt that love. It shook your confidence in them. I can see it affected you badly, but you can't let it. I don't pretend to understand half of what goes on with you guys; it's all way above my simple engineer intellect, but I know this: I love you, and you, and you." She pointed to me and the girls in turn. "You guys all love me, and each other. We are together, and no matter what else is going on the world, we will support and protect each other.

"Amanda, that was a shitty thing you did," she added, "trying to use your power in the house to manipulate him. Sorry, but it had to be said. But we know it was done with love, and we forgive you and still love you.

"Now," she concluded, "I've said my piece, I'm going to drink my coffee. Caleb, you're up."

I thought about what Jules had said. People did fall in love all the time, and, even outside of power users, people were manipulated into relationships - by their parents, by their families, by politics, or even just by circumstance. If you spend enough time closely interacting with someone, then feelings of some kind are bound to develop - not necessarily good ones, but feelings all the same. You only have to look at reality shows where people are artificially forced into each other's company for an extended period of time to see that. Nearly every one of those shows ends up with at least some of the participants entering some kind of relationship, even if they don't long survive the reintroduction to the real world.

In my case, in so many ways, I was unsure of where the artificial bubble ended and the real world began. Worse, I'd put my faith in the bond as a kind of anchor - a foundation upon which to build my new life. I worried that I was so invested in it that I would will myself into believing that it was real, true, uncorrupted, incorruptible, and basically anything and everything I needed it to be. With a grim chuckle, I contemplated the possibility that I'd managed to break out of James' and Maggie's illusion because I'd firmly believed in something that hadn't even been true.

Then I asked myself yet another terrible question: what if the love had been the result of a manipulation, but the bond had locked it in somehow? How would I deal with a lie made manifest? Did that make it true, an even-worse lie, or some weird combination of the two?

The only conclusion I could draw with any confidence was that I didn't actually know anything.

I looked to the girls. If nothing else, we were stuck in similar situations. They were deliberately suppressing their powers. They were trying to show me I could trust them. I could see love for me in them; I could feel it radiating off them, and could see it in their auras. I knew it wasn't their power; it was genuine feeling. That didn't mean it wasn't enforced by the bond, but at least I knew the love was there.

With a heavy sigh, I made a choice. The three of us were prisoners in the same cell. Fighting amongst ourselves made little sense, especially if the forces outside of that cell were still trying to control our lives. I hoped they felt the same. I hoped that either their feelings, their consciences, their good sense, or all three would lead them to the same conclusion. Jules being with us would help, I felt. She was the most innocent of all of us, and she truly believed in the power of our love, no matter how it had come about. Unlike the twins - or even myself - she had no emotional attachment to any powered people outside of the bond. Dianna was going to be an issue; I didn't kid myself about that.

It was a hard choice to make, but once I made it, I felt an unexpected sense of peace and relief. Something must have shown on my face or in my bearing, because Jules took my hand and smiled up at me. She nodded her head, prompting me to speak.

"I met Maggie Forbes this morning at the training session," I began. "She didn't speak to me, and...let me show you."

I sent all three of them the memory of my day, including the illusion and my thoughts as we had been driving. It was a lot. Transmission and absorption were incredibly fast, but only technical absorption - intellectual absorption. The girls needed more than a few moments to appreciate the emotions. It shook them. I felt it through the bond as exactly that: sympathetic aftershocks of the earthquake I'd been suffering through.

"Caleb," Mary said, "I know right now that the bond feels more like a shackle than anything else, but you need to put that feeling aside.

"Yes, you were right, we were told to give you a good time, and help keep you safe and in line. But it was my choice to give you my virginity. I decided that on my own, because I wanted you, and I wanted you to be my first. Even before the bond, I had feelings for you. Amanda also had decided she wanted you to be her first. Even though you had only recently met, she shared what I felt for you, and felt it too. We were sent into that room by Dianna, but what went on in there was our choice, and ours alone."

I heard Maggie's quiet voice in my head:

of course it was

.

I really, really hated her.

"I promise you," Mary continued, "that I wanted to be with you, not to control you, or to fulfil some obligation to family, but because I had genuine feelings for you. When I learned of the bond, I was shocked, yes, but it made me feel happy. Look for yourself. You have the power. Look into my mind and search where you will. You will see I'm telling you the truth."

I shook my head. "I couldn't do that to you."

"Maggie is right though," she continued. "You are powerful, and people are nervous. The FBI are not going to let you just walk away. We need to come to some kind of an agreement with them - one that we can all live with."

"Such as?" I asked.

"I don't know," she said. "But I'm sure that between us, we can come up with something."

Jules looked at Amanda, waiting for her to speak.

"I'm not smart like Mary or Jules," Amanda began. "I see what I want to do, and I try and do it. If someone is hurting, I try and make them feel better. I can see you're hurting, Caleb, and I want to help, but I'm frightened that anything I try is just going to make things worse.

"When we talked last night, about the Vardys, you made me think about things in a totally new way. I had never even dreamed that what I was doing was wrong, that I was in some way violating those poor people. I saw people that were hurting and I knew I had the ability to stop that hurt. Mary-Beth needed to trust you for you to help her, so I gave her trust. Becky needed forgiveness, and so I helped out there too.

"I forgot that they also needed to want to trust, or want to forgive - that that is their choice, and I was taking that choice away from them. Then today, in the house, again I saw everyone hurting. You were hurting because of what they did; Dianna was hurting because of what you did and said to her. Even Maggie, your great-great-grandmother, was hurting. She didn't show it, but I could feel it radiating off her. I thought that if you could just forgive them...

"But again, I forgot that you didn't want to forgive, not then, possibly not now, and maybe not ever. I was trying to take that choice away from you. Yes, Dianna suggested I try to help, but it never occurred to me that she might be trying to manipulate me. It's even possible that she wasn't. She didn't tell me what to do, after all, but she knows me well enough, I suppose, to know what I'd do.

"I love you, Caleb, and I hate that you think that our love is not genuine, but I understand why you might think that. I hope that someday, soon, we can regain some of the trust I destroyed with my stupidity. I will say one more thing, and I am not defending her, but I don't think you realise how much your great-great-grandmother loves you. I felt her pain when you rejected her, but you and she have more in common than just blood. Her pride wouldn't let her back down. She is a big dick in the bureau, and she couldn't be told off by a mere strip of a kid like you, particularly her own great-great-grandson.