Cindy and I were together in my bed. We'd got back from the prom around 11 o'clock since we had no dates and no after-party we wanted to be at. We chatted about the prom with Mom and Dad and then came up to sleep. It felt so good to strip off the kind of silly prom dresses we'd worn. She jumped into my bed with just her little party panties and a tee. I was in my old sweats and a tee.
"Cindy? Don't go to sleep yet."
"Huh, what?" I could see the sheet rising and falling rhythmically over her breasts from the little light coming in my window. She was almost out.
"Cindy! I want to ask you about it again."
"Huh? Ask me what?"
"About John. About the treatment."
Cindy rolled on her side to face me, eyes still closed, and said "Tomorrow sweetie. I'm dead asleep."
I pinched her thigh hard enough to get her attention. "Yeoww! What the...."
"C'mon Cindy! I'd do it for you. And you know I gotta go out first thing tomorrow with Mom shopping. She'll kill me if I don't."
"Don't pinch! You know I hate that!"
"Just 10 minutes Cin! It's still early."
Now she rolled on her side facing me and opened her eyes.
"What do you want to ask me?"
"About John and the treatment."
"Caitie! You already did – like a million times!"
"Yeah but you're the one who made me call him and I still don't even know why you went to him or what he did to help you."
"Cause it's complicated and hard to explain. But I told you it's just like I needed some help loosening up for Roger and John helped." Cindy smiled at what seemed to me like a private memory – almost made me want to pinch her again.
"Well mine's complicated too but I told you everything."
Cindy laughed right at me and said "Yours is not complicated – you just suck at giving head."
We laughed together at that – even though inside it made me feel kind of bad that she knew so much about my private time with Julian and about my problem – and I asked her "So what did you suck at?"
She looked at me seriously. "Saying Yes."
"What does that mean?"
"I told you. There were things Roger needed from me and I was like this little high school bitch who kept saying No. I was like stuck on wanting to be the one who decided everything for us."
"Well, what things?"
"Not blowjobs, I can tell you that. Roger loves the way I suck him off."
"Then what?"
"I already explained this. Everything really. Not just sex although I guess that was some of it. It might have been whether we would go to a certain place for dinner or it might have been him wanting to make love when I didn't. It was just selfishness."
"And John helped?"
"Yeah. We just talked and he explained how I could look at things from Roger's point of view to make the relationship better for both of us."
"And it worked?"
"Do I seem different to you?"
"Yeah, you do." I had to admit that in the last 2 months since Cindy told me she was seeing a therapist she had changed. Even around me and our girlfriends she was easier-going, less demanding and less sarcastic than she used to be. She seemed more feminine and soft. She also seemed happier but in a kind of spacey way sometimes.
"So there. That's all there is to it."
I decided to change tactics. "Well did he make you see Janice first?"
"No. Who's Janice? John didn't make me do anything."
"He told me I had to see someone named Janice who would do a health and body-structure check before he and I met. Whatever body-structure is supposed to mean."
"Oh. I don't know. Some girl took my height and weight and pulse when I first went in. Maybe that's her."
"That was all?"
"It's all I remember."
