Caitlyn's Treatment

"Hello?"

"Hi, how may I help you?"

"Dr. Venruil, please."

I heard some clicks and then a phone rang. And rang. I got his voicemail and hung up.

A minute later my phone rang.

"Hello."

"Hi, this is John. I think I may just have missed your call."

"Oh, hi. Yeah. How....?"

"Caller-ID."

"Oh, of course. Stupid question."

"Not at all. How may I help you – if at all?"

"Well." I paused and d gathered my thoughts which had whooshed out of my head once he didn't answer the first call. I was pretty nervous. "I was referred to you by my friend Cindy. Cindy Smith."

"OK." Neutral. Non-committal. I realized he had to be professional which I guess meant not even acknowledging that he knew Cindy. But I knew he did.

"Oh aaaah. So, Cindy said you could help me....maybe."

"OK." Neutral again. Then he waited. I knew what he meant: get to the point.

"I mean if you have time....or if you want to....or I can pay you." He'd handled Cindy's problem free of charge but I wasn't sure why. I figured he must charge something.

"OK. But what seems to be the issue?"

"Well it's me. Or, actually, my boyfriend, or....I guess maybe it's me."

"You're having an issue with your boyfriend and think I might be able to help?"

"Yes! Or, well I don't know. Maybe. It's kind of ..."

"Hard to explain? Personal?" He said it in a neutral but friendly way, if that makes any sense. It was pretty obvious he'd had these kinds of calls before.

"Yes." I waited. The line was quiet except for some office type sounds like a copy machine somewhere.

"What's your name?"

"Caitlyn. Caitlyn Desjardin."

"Caitlyn. I have a thing starting up in about 2 minutes. What do you say I call you later? Is 4 P.M. OK?"

"Aaaah...4 o'clock...I guess so."

"Great. I'll call you then." Click.

He called back at 4:02.

"Caitlyn? It's John. We spoke earlier."

"Oh, hi, thanks for..."

"So, this problem. With your boyfriend. You want to tell me about it?"

"It's kind of hard over the phone."

"I understand. We can arrange an in person if you like. But usually people want to give me some background before they come in."

"Right. It's just..."

"But it's up to you. We can do it either way."

I gathered my courage. "Maybe phone is better. I don't know."

"A lot of people like to go over the phone at first. Get the embarrassing stuff out without eye-contact I suppose." He laughed. A pleasant sort of non-judgmental laugh. A nice welcoming laugh in fact.

"It's a relationship problem. I tried to fix it on my own but now I think I might need some help. Do you do those?"

"Well it depends. My specialty is with women experiencing sexual problems or frustrations in a relationship. I focus with them on the physical side of their love lives. Course that pretty much ties to every emotion they have too, doesn't it?" He chuckled again in that friendly way. I liked the sound of his voice and his laugh. "Does that describe your problem?"

"Yes. I think so."

"So what is it?" We both waited. "What is the problem you might need help with?"

I could hear the emphasis on 'might' and realized it was time to come clean. "Ummmm. It's giving head. Oh, I mean oral sex. You know with me on him, not the other way around."

"You can call it giving head. Is that how the two of you refer to it?"

I was already blushing like mad but I realized, hey! he can't see me. It did make it easier. So I answered truthfully.

"Well that.... or blowjobs...or sucking him off. You know. All of them."

"Right. And how old are you Caitlyn."

This one I was ready for. "I'm 18. I just turned 18 two days ago."

"Oh, happy birthday then Caitlyn. You can show your age on your license or birth certificate or something when you come in?"

"Yeah. I know you can't talk to girls about sex until they are 18. It's why I waited. Cindy told me about that and about what you did for her." I pictured Cindy who had been hounding me to make this call for 2 weeks. I was a little unclear on what Cindy's problem had been and totally unclear on what Dr. Venruil had done for her, but something good I guess. "She's your biggest fan! And I thought maybe you might be able to help me."

"With giving head?"

"Yes."

"Or blowjobs?" His voice seemed to have gone up a pitch. It was funny.

"Yes."

"Or sucking him off?" His voice went up again. He said it as though he were a frightened teenaged girl.

I felt like I could see him smiling over the line at me. I started laughing. "Yes. That too."

"Do you mean, Caitlyn, DO YOU MEAN: fellatio?" His voice had gone deep and husky like those guys on the cable news stations Dad watches. I laughed even harder then.

"Well that's good. Good to have a little laugh at problems. Seems to cut them down to size somehow, right?"

"Yeah. It does."

"So I think I might be able to help you with your blowjob problem but I won't know for sure until we meet in person. Is that OK with you?"

"Yes. But can't we talk now?"

Now that the ice was broken I was ready to spill my guts, or at least some of my guts. I was still pretty nervous, but once you decide, even over the telephone, that you like someone you start trusting them and it becomes a lot easier. So I figured I wanted to get some of it out now.

"Sure. Give me a little more detail now and some we can save for when you come in. OK? I have about 20 minutes or so now, you can have as much of it as you like."

"Thank you Dr. Venruil? Am I saying your name right?"

"No. Your 'Venruil' is right but it's John. Just John. Go ahead Caitlyn.

"Yeah, so...." I started to delay again but then realized I had to stop being a pussy if I was going to get help. "I guess I just need to learn how to give him better blowjobs."

"OK. That's a common enough problem, especially with girls your age. Is that because you're dissatisfied or because he doesn't like the way you suck his cock?"

I was surprised that he would say 'suck his cock' but figured we had already done the rest of the names for it. Might as well use that one too.

"Both I think."

"He's told you he doesn't like it?"

"Well no. Not exactly. But a girl can tell. I think I can tell without him saying it."

"Well you may be right. We'll to go into more detail on that..."

I kind of cut him off then. "Plus it's because of what Cindy told me. About what Julian said. To her boyfriend Roger."

"So Julian is your boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"OK. What did Julian say?"

My eyes began to tear up. Even to someone I didn't actually know or knew just over the phone. But I told him. "He told Roger that he loved me."

"Well that sounds good I would guess. There must be more."

I muffled a little sob as I told him, "That he loved me but that I was not so good on blowjobs. He told Roger not to tell Cindy but Roger did. Then Roger didn't want Cindy to tell me, but she did. So here I am telling you. But only cause I love him so much."

"And you can't ask Julian about it? Just ask him what he wants?"

"NO! Cause then he'll know that Roger told Cindy, and Roger will know Cindy told me. It's such a mess." I decided to tell the last part now that I was here. "And what if Julian is just waiting for the subject to come up? And he uses it to dump me? I love him so much!" Now I was crying. Not too hard but actually crying over the phone to a stranger.

"Yes, I see. That could be a problem. What else did Julian tell his friend?"

"Nothing. I mean nothing Cindy will tell me. But I can't tell if she knows more or not. She's so afraid Roger will find out."

He waited a moment for me to stop sniffling and then shifted the subject. "Well, how long have you two been together?"

"About 6 months. He's Roger's best friend. I met Julian through them, through Cindy and Roger."

He stayed quiet for a minute or so. He wasn't biting on the Cindy connection, which seemed a little odd to me. He must have known that I knew about Cindy's treatment.

"Was the relationship sexual from the start?"

"Yes. I mean just touching and blowjobs at the beginning. I couldn't have sex."

"Why?"

"I had to get on the pill first. My Mom got me on it right after I met Julian, but then I had to wait a month more to make sure."

"What about condoms?"

"Julian....well he doesn't use them, says he doesn't like them."

"So you got on the pill. And then you and Julian began fucking?"

I moved the phone aside so I could blow my nose. Again I was surprised that he would talk this way about 'fucking.' Not offended, just surprised. He said things in such a natural, quiet manner that no one could be offended. And it was the way Julian and I spoke about things, so why not?

"Yes."

"Was he your first?"

"Yes. For fucking. But not blowjobs."

"How many before him for those?"

"For sucking? Just two guys." I almost added "I'm not a slut" but caught myself first. This was therapy, and John was a professional. I didn't want to be defensive. "One was my boyfriend sophomore year. But then he moved away. Then this other guy my junior and senior year until I met Julian. But we were just friends."

"Did they like your blowjobs?"

"Yeah. I think so anyway. It seemed like it."

"But you think Julian doesn't like them...or at least he doesn't love them the way you want him too. Right?"

"Umm. At first I thought he loved them. It's cause of what he said to Roger."

"Got it. How old is Julian?"

"23."

"You think that's a little old for you?"

"No. I like it that he's 23. He's mature, you know? And has a good job and an apartment so it's nice when we are together."

"You think because he's older he has higher expectations of you. Of your giving head?"

"Yeah. Cindy told me he would." I paused just to appreciate again the fact that he couldn't acknowledge Cindy and what he'd done for her. Of course that was a different problem than the one I had.

"She told me right at the start. I mean Julian told me too – later. He's had a bunch of girlfriends and some of them are older like 21 and 22. He was with a lot of girls in college but now he's graduated so he's stuck with me, Miss-Home-Town-High-School-Girl."

"Stuck?"

"No I didn't mean that. We're in love – really. I love him so much. It's just he's used to more experienced girls, college girls."

"Which is why you think he's not so crazy about your cocksucking?"

Again! 'Cocksucking'? I wondered if he could speak like this with other clients. Cindy had never mentioned anything about it. But it was cool.

"Yeah."

"How often are you two together? How often do you make love?" Which is more the way I thought one of these guys would speak. It was funny and I had to smile into the phone.

"Well like 2 or 3 times each week I guess."

"Always at his apartment?"

"Usually but sometimes in my house when my Dad is travelling. Dad doesn't like me sleeping with him but Mom is cool so if he's away we might watch a movie or something with her and then stay in my bedroom. But mostly it's his place."

"You like Julian's place? Are you comfortable there? Feel safe?"

"Oh my God yes! His apartment is awesome. I'd move in if I could but ...."

"OK we'll get to that in a bit. You're comfortable there spending the night?"

"Well. I'd love that. But usually I have to get home by 11 because Dad thinks I'm over Cindy's studying."

"Julian drives you home?"

"Usually....Sometimes I have to take the bus if he's too tired." My face scrunched up as I said it. I didn't want John thinking badly of Julian. It felt disloyal. Like I was telling on him. But John's voice showed no sign of judgment. I guess all these guys are good at that.

"Back to the lovemaking. Describe a night when you two are together there. What's it like?"

"Well usually I go right there after school. Get there around 4 or so. He gave me a key so I can go in and make his dinner and clean up a bit before he gets back."

"By 'clean up' you mean...?"

"Well the apartment and bedroom and kitchen and such. Oh....you mean me? Of course! I shower to be nice for him, usually once I have dinner cooking. I even have my own things there and a whole space in the closet for dresses and skirts and blouses and such."

"OK. He gets in when?"

"About 6 usually. Depends what meetings he has and if he goes for a drink with his guy friends after work."

"Because you two can't go out for drinks – right?"

"Yeah. Which sucks but nothing we can do about that. We have drinks at his place sometimes. Or sometimes we double with Cindy and Roger." I paused to laugh, but I knew it sounded like one of those weird half-laughs. "So we might have drinks at Roger's place."

"OK. Julian gets in and what?"

"Well we have dinner first. Then maybe watch TV. Then we might start fooling around, usually on the couch when he gets bored of whatever is on TV. Unless it's the Knicks, then we usually wait till the end of the game."

"How's it begin?"

"Well like all different ways. He might put his hand up my skirt or down my blouse. He might strip me there or just take me in his bedroom."

"And then?"

I paused, uncertain. But if he was going to talk our talk then I certainly could talk our talk.

"Well we fuck. Or sometimes he wants a blowjob first. Either way."

"He takes you multiple times?"

"Yeah, usually 3 times, sometimes 4 even. But usually like two fucks and a blowjob or two blowjobs and a fuck."

"He eat your pussy?" I couldn't tell now if he was judging or not, but I hoped not.

"NO! Cause we fuck, so it would be like gross."

"What about before that?"

"Before I'm usually sucking his cock and I don't even like 69 so it's just better this way."

"Do you get to cum then?"

"Yeah. I mean sometimes. Sometimes when he fucks me it's like so close but I don't really....you know most girls don't. But then he uses a vibe on me or stuff and I cum like crazy for him. He loves that."

"You cum with the other 2 guys before Julian?"

"No." I laughed at the idea. "I didn't know that I was even supposed to cum. I guess I was pretty immature then."

"What other toys do you two use?"

"Cuffs. Sometimes a dildo, like in my ass sometimes while he fucks me or uses the vibrator on my clit."

"You like that? The dildo and vibe?"

"Mmmmmmmmmmm I do. And he's so sweet when he does it. Like a little kid playing with army soldiers or something."

"He handcuffs you? How?"

"Different ways. Sometimes behind my back like if I'm kneeling to suck his cock. Sometimes he just ties me to the headboard with them in order to fuck me."

"Wrists only or wrists and ankles?"

"It depends....you know....on what he wants. Sometimes both but sometimes just my hands are tied to the bed. Makes it easier for me to get my legs up for him."

"I see."

He gave a long pause and then a sigh. "Well Caitlyn, I think I have the basics now. I'm going to have to run soon but we need to set up an appointment for you."

I snapped up and looked at the clock. It was 4:45 so we'd already gone way beyond his 20 minute limit, which was really nice of him.

"Two hours I think for the first session. You and I will talk. Then I'll have Janice check your physical health and body structures. Then you and I will have a full session to discuss these things in detail. OK by you?"

"Well not this coming week. It's graduation week. Prom is Thursday and Graduation is Friday but there are events like every night with parents and all."

"OK, no problem. The following week will be just as good. Let me move you back to Kim who does my appointment book and you two can set the time."

"Yes, but John? Can I ask one more question first?"

"Sure. Go ahead."

"Well it's like it's been great just to talk to you on the phone, but can a girl with a problem like mine really get it fixed just by more talking?"

"Well I never said it would be just talk did I?"

"No, but what else is there?"

"Caitlyn, that's why we do the checkup and the long appointment, to find out what else might be needed. But there are lots of things. Assuming there are no physical abnormalities involved, there are exercises, there's practice, there are homeopathic remedies that work for some girls, and there are other medications that are sometimes used. But it's important to remember that the talk can help. More often than not the problem is in the girl's head." He paused and I wondered if that was supposed to be a joke on 'head'. I didn't laugh; it was my head we were discussing. He went on. "Whether it's your mind – some hang-up – keeping you from fully committing to fellating Julian properly or whether it's your mind blowing your problem out of proportion, we won't know till we begin to meet. Keep an open mind about the talk part too is what I'm saying."

"OK John." It did make sense to me then. "Thank you. I'll see you week after next."

"Wait. Caitlyn? I just thought of one more question I have for you."

"Sure."

"The prom. Is Julian taking you to the prom?"

"Aaaah no. His brother is flying in that night from Philadelphia and Julian has to pick him up. But he thinks he might be able to make graduation night if his brother is gone by then."

"And you are going to prom?"

"Oh yes! Just going with my group of girls. I'll miss him but I love the girls. It's our last big fling in high school, so it'll be fun."

"Yes it will. Enjoy yourself and I'll see you in a bit. Here comes Kim to do the appointment. Good bye Caitlyn"

"Good bye Dr. Ven.....I mean John." But he had already clicked me over to Kim.

It only took us a minute to find a 2 hour slot that would work.