Blizzard Ch 25

I kissed Sam goodbye in the morning. I went to work. I was not at my best: the office was only about twice as functional as we had been before I had taken charge.

"Hey!" I beamed when Max called.

"Sam's hounding me! She wants me to give her the fucking boots! You gave them to me!"

"Put them on and go talk it out with her."

"They're so slutty! I love them but I can't really walk around campus looking like that!" Max's exclamations outlasted the energy required to earn the exclamation marks.

"Can you wear them in your dorm room, at least?" I asked. "Go back and meet up with Sam. Call me after."

It took eighteen minutes before my tense shoulders, sweaty palms, and stomach butterflies were alleviated by the ringer on my phone. "Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!"

A chill went down my spine. "Oh shit, it didn't work? Oh god, it's my fault, I'm the one who put Sam in the chair, I broke everything, I -"

"No! I feel better about her but she doesn't feel better about Alex!" Max wailed. "Here, talk to her!"

"Hi, handsome," Sam purred into the phone. "Do you think it'll be a problem with it just being you, me, and Max tonight at your brother's?"

"Hi, Gene," Issa knocked on the corner of my cubicle. "Need your signatures."

I put down my phone and took the papers from her. "Listen, make sure everyone knows I appreciate you guys being here on a Saturday."

"Those snow days kicked our asses," Issa smirked. "If you didn't step up we'd never have gotten back on track."

"Yeah, like it was me!" I scoffed. "Seriously, you've been awesome. Tell everyone to take Monday off - I'll need you at your best, and you guys earned the break."

"OK, but what about-"

"We've caught up to the days we missed and got ahead of schedule. Take the day off.

I

won't be here."

I didn't realize I had scratched off my signature without looking at the forms until Issa had walked away. I almost went after her but I heard Sam still talking on my phone. I ditched my desk and hoofed it to the conference room. Someone had stuck a post-it with "Sellout's Office" on the door. I laughed, pulled it off, and locked the door behind me.

"-and it just doesn't stop with her. You know?" Sam hadn't stopped talking since she had asked about the plans tonight.

"I'm sorry. Sam, you need to meet me at the cafe. Kiss Max and I'll see you in half an hour." I hung up on her to the overacted kissing sound effects of the girls. "Shit."

I walked out of the room and into my boss.

"Look, we have to discuss things, Gene," he said. "I think you're proving yourself to be misplaced here. I want-"

"I'll have to get back to you on my career trajectory, Steve," I interrupted, and billowed out the vein in his forehead. "I've got actual work to do."

He froze impotently. I smiled at him. I had bald-faced lied to my boss, in public. I was finally proud of how much I was doing at my job, but risking my career was easy and instinctive when it was for any of my girls. I left the building. He wasn't certain what to do with me. I jogged to the cafe and got there in time to hold the door for Sam. Her smile fixed my day.

"Guys! I got us a table!" Alex stood up and waved with both hands from the back corner of the room. I was shocked to see her. Sam's eyes went dark and she looked to me, hurt.

"Ambushing you wasn't my plan. I didn't tell her. I came here to see you. But If this helps me fix things, I'm OK with it."

"Then Max must've told her. Why would she do that?" Sam's lower lip trembled for an instant before her jaw hardened.

"She wants to save the love," I explained. I took the hug and kiss from Alex. I set her down across from me with Sam taking the spot on my left between us. Alex instantly hopped chairs to be on my right side.

"The boots didn't fix things for Sam," I said. "And Max needed them to tolerate her."

"What? But doesn't that mean that Max should be against me too?" Alex worried. Carmine, the redheaded barista, walked up to our table and set down coffees in front of each of us. Alex must've ordered in advance. I realized Carmine was standing as far away from me as possible, and watching me nervously; I muttered 'thanks', and turned my head to look away from her.

"Do you know what changed things?" Sam asked.

"Forcing you to sit in my chair," I explained. "Magic is stupid."

"Magic." Alex blew on her mug. "Sam, come with me to the counter thingy."

She gestured to the self-serve cream and sugar thingy by the door. I sipped my coffee black. I was three quarters done when they sat back down. Alex looked good and Sam looked worried.

"I think she's disconnected from me, even with the boots," Alex said.

"You're not happy, though?"

"How would you feel if you had to share one of us with some other boy?" Sam worried.

"Bordering on violence," I said. I had never been jealous. I had been cheated on, but I had ended those relationships with my hurt and anger directed at the cheater, not the other man. Things were different with Sam, Max, and Alex. They were

mine

. I would do whatever it took to keep them that way. Sam was blushing for my answer. Alex vibrated with energy. She had to put down her mug before she spattered more hot liquid onto her hands. I wrapped an arm around Sam's shoulders. "You're jealous?"

"Maybe?" she said. "I feel... the same as I did yesterday but I'm not... raw. It doesn't feel... sharp to be around Alex. Or squicky, either. I don't need to scare her off."

"Maybe that's not what happened," I said. I turned to Alex. "Do you maybe think her mind's been changed?"

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked.

"Alex, for Sam," I said, and brushed Alex's hair from her face. "Do you think Max would've been OK sharing a guy before you guys started with me?"

"Not at all," Alex said, looking to Sam. "She's still angry I took a piece of lemon off her plate and ate it on our grade 9 class trip."

"And how would

you

have felt?" I asked.

She frowned. Tilted her head. "Not rewired. I've never been happier to have something to share with Max." She grabbed my hand and leaned in to stage-whisper. "Sam makes it even better."

Sam reached out and took Alex's other hand. Sincerity gleamed in their eyes.

I let go of Alex's hand, and called Max. No answer.

"She turns her phone off for classes," Alex said. "I called her on the first day and interrupted the first professor she ever had in the first class she ever took. She was mortified."

"But she's not in class, she's in study group."

"Yeah, well. I dunno if you noticed, but Max is a nerd. Except she does get laid a bunch now."

I looked at Sam; she saw me looking, and nodded.

I quickly texted a "Sorting things out with Sam and Alex. Love you." I stared at my sent text. It struck me that I had used those words again. I had passed the point of no return, and it felt

right

. All in. I grabbed Sam's hand.

"I love you," I told her. Her smile brightened by the megawatt as her brain processed what she had just heard. She dived into a hug that rocked me back a step. I kissed her on the mouth and pushed her back into the chair. I reached over and took Alex's hand. She was on fire waiting for me to say it.

"I love you! Jinx!" She overlaid my admission. She thrust forward and kissed me. "Mmm, Gene," she moaned happily, and she slipped back.

"That's not how you play jinx," Sam fussed. "We're supposed to tease him before we say his name."

"He's trying to make

us

work. Us. This." Alex gestured between herself and Sam, then extended her arms to include me and as much of the world as it took to reach Max. "I'm not putting that at risk for a stupid game. I'm not losing you. Any of you." She had a determined expression on her face, and the threat of a tear in her eye.

Sam took in Alex's words with an excited smile, but there were doubts down in her guts and they bubbled up until she was frowning again. I put down my empty coffee cup.

"I think, when I put you in the armchair, Alex, all three of you had been fully boot-charged to like me," I theorized. "All of a sudden, the rules were different but you were on a trajectory of loving me and loving the others. Your feelings kept going as they were. Like a vector."

"The armchair?" Alex and Sam looked at each other. Something clicked and they looked at me.

"I didn't

want

to sit in it!" they said in unison, then tripped over each other on "I swear I didn't" and "I promise I didn't".

"And then you did anyway. Or I made you do it, Alex," I explained. "A few days later, I did the same thing to you, Sam. But when you were in the chair, you weren't all hugs and love like Alex was. You were in need of the boot recharge. You were on a vector of a little bit of hurt, a little bit of fear, and a chunk of confusion. You kept sailing on that vector."

"Um, what do you mean by vector?" Alex asked after a silent moment.

I laughed, shaking off some of the tension. I wasn't talking to Max. "Have you ever heard of Newton's law: an object in motion stays in motion?"

"Yeah," Sam declared.

"Yes." Alex made the connection too.

"I'm saying your feelings kept following the path they were on."

"So, Sam's never going to like me the way

I

...?" Alex trailed off, her voice breaking. Her eyes glistened as the first tears trickled to her cheeks. Trembling, she looked to Sam.

"No, she's going to

love

you." Sam nodded fiercely, and I squeezed her hand. "Normally, the hard work of a relationship isn't called for while your brain is flooded with I-love-you neurochemicals. Maybe it should be."

"Is there a way to get Max loving the shit out of you, me, and Alex and send her flying on her vector?" Sam asked. "Not 'flying'... What's the right word for vectors?"

"'Following'. And I'm

pretty sure

there's a Max solution. I don't know if there are other side effects yet," I said.

"Max'd rather be in love with us, no matter what the side effects," Alex said, sniffing.

"So what do we do?" Sam asked.

"You're going to spend the day with Alex, and she's going to win you over with all of the Alex that she is." I stroked Sam's cheek. "Meet me at my place at six. Max will be there."

________________

I was late leaving work. My stomach churned as I thought about how Sam and Alex's day had gone. I focused on my responsibilities. I had an idea that if I ever rose too high on the corporate ladder, I'd never actually get to leave work, only leave the building.

I checked my phone as I walked by Winter's apartment. It was 6:34. I took a deep breath but didn't calm myself down. I glared at the number 1 mounted on her door. I would cut her out. Let her die on the vine. I walked straight into my apartment door when it refused to open. It was locked. I banged my fist.

"Back to finish-" Winter was surprised to see I wasn't at her door when she opened. I couldn't hold back the smirk. Her wind shook the building. I enjoyed a little petty revenge that she couldn't tell whose door I was knocking on. I really needed to get my girls somewhere better.

Ahead of me, I heard the deadbolt slide open. I walked in my apartment without a glance to Winter. Max grabbed me in a hug and I kicked the door shut behind me.

"Are they undamaged?" I asked in a whisper to the redhead's ear.

"Alex is unflappable." Max unzipped my coat as I kicked out of my boots. "Sam's exhausted."

"Only mentally! My body's yours for the taking!" Sam shouted down from above.

"We agreed that if you want her on top, Max and I will hold her arms and move her like a puppet!" Alex giggled.

"We actually did agree to that," Max said. "Why are you late?"

"Kicking ass being a working man," I bragged, and pushed her butt. I chased her up the stairs. Her skirt floated around her knees. I stopped and looked at all of them as I landed on the floor. They were dressed up. I think they all had their hair done. Just to meet my brother? I was grinning like a maniac.

Alex was wearing a pale blue dress and flesh-colored hose. She had a light leather jacket for her bare arms and shoulders, and a matching bag. Her throat glittered with the dark blue stones on her choker. Her hair was thick and fluffy and braided over her shoulder.

Max had a tight green sweater and a black skirt. Her outfit was much more weather-appropriate, with black leggings under the skirt. Her hair framed her glowing face and smile, and it was difficult to look away. She had four expensive-looking bracelets all on her left wrist. Gold, silver, gemstones, and pearls.

Sam had opted for lurid red. Her dress was thinner, more figure-hugging, and lower cut than the others. She had a fluffy coat that went with it, though, and hovered down to her mid-calf. Her legs were in black stockings. A pendant of green and pink hung on a silver chain to her cleavage.

"Wow, you girls look crazy good," I said.

"We want to make a good impression," Max explained.

"All of us want to make good impressions," Sam said.

"What were your first thoughts when you saw us like this?" Alex asked, and raised her hands in a joyous pose.

"That Valentine's Days are going to break my wallet." I answered all of their beautiful clothes and glittery jewelry honestly. Sam looked shocked. "You guys can love a poor man, can't you?"

"Nope!" Alex smiled. "Make more money."

"Alex!" Max looked scandalized. She glared down the blonde who giggled triumphantly. Max sighed. "Oh, you'll be sorry. If he makes more money, he'll spend more time at work and less with us."

"Oh, then we should move into a cardboard box immediately," Sam declared.

"I'll call the realtor," I said. "No, a cab." I looked down at my phone and answered. "One of you get our ride. Hey Doug."

"Hey, just wanted to say I'm not mad at you for cancelling," my brother said. "Look, I want you-"

"Cab's on its way," I interrupted when Alex punched the last details in the app.

"What? You couldn't RSVP? Dammit! I'll put on pants."

I laughed harder than I should. The girls all were excited to know the joke but I had decades of understanding. My brother was pretending to be as slovenly as me. Perhaps 'pretending' was an overstatement: if he honestly didn't think I was coming, then conceivably he actually

wasn't

wearing pants.

"I expect the finest crackers for those cubes of cheese and slices of pepperoni you promised us."

"Shit, I gotta get another deli tray, then. Okay, if I'm not here to let you in when you arrive, buzz 8100 to get through the front door. The apartment will be unlocked."

"Cool cool," I said. "See you soon."

________________

"Hey! Hi! Holy mother of God! Now I know you're not prostitutes, Gene would be living in a cardboard box." My brother entered his big apartment to find us sitting around the living room. This was the kind of place I should have for the girls to visit.

"I changed my mind." Sam laid her head on my shoulder. "Alex was right. Make more money."

"Don't call them prostitutes, even obliquely." I smiled for my brother. "Alright, the one charging you for a hug, that's Alex."

Sam flicked my ear, and smirked. "Not even obliquely?"

I laughed. She rolled her eyes.

"Alex!" Doug tossed a plastic tray of meat and cheeses onto his kitchen table. He actually had a kitchen table. My brother was wearing a clean sweater and loose jeans. He welcomed her in, and she hugged him.

"Do you have a name? I don't think you want to be 'Gene's brother' for the rest of the night." She leaned her head and looked up at him.

"That'd be the perfect revenge, wouldn't it, Doug's brother?" He laughed at me. "I'm Doug. Charmed, my lady."

He kissed her hand and walked her into the living room. Max was half in and half out of her seat. She looked to me about whether she was going to get up or wait. I grabbed her butt and pushed her to her feet.

"The great hugs run in the family," Alex alerted Max. Doug accepted a warm hug but with less momentum.

"That one's Max," I said. I lifted Sam's chin with a finger and directed her to my brother. "And this one's Sam."

"Wow," my brother said as he let go of Sam. "You girls are as pretty as he claimed. That's never happened before."

"Do you always make jokes at your brother's expense?" Max asked.

"Of course," he grinned. "Number one rule of older brothers."

"Oh, I guess I always wanted an older

sister

then," Max tried to joke back. Doug erupted as if it was the funniest thing he had ever heard. Max lit up with so much pride. If they liked Doug, maybe they liked me too. I realized something - something that hadn't occurred to me in all the time since they first showed up on Sam's twisted ankle: I had never once thought I deserved them.

"You OK?" Alex asked.

"A little underdressed," I said, "but I've never been better."

________________

Little cheese cubes, handsy legal-aged girls, and a brother who knew all of the worst stories to tell. The night was going great.

"And it turns out Alex's vagina is named Me Time." I chose the winner from our Cards Against Humanity. Sometimes I made up my own categories.

"Hey, that card says 'Instead of coal-'" Sam shut up when she saw all of us smiling pleasantly at her.

"Me Time was mine." Max blushed shyly.

"Boom! Who knows her best friend!" Alex forced a high five on Max.

"Who's horny!" Slightly drunk, Doug's boyfriend slipped happily in the apartment door. He stopped to see me, three women, and his boyfriend staring up at him.

"I am," Alex said for the table.

"Yeah, I could go for a few rounds," I agreed.

"Shut up and get some wine and I'll introduce you around," my brother shrugged off the embarrassment. "And now we got enough people for teams. Three on three?"

"And enough wine for teams," the boyfriend said.

"Alex, Sam, and Max," I pointed out each. They waved. He suaved around the table shaking hands and aimed straight for the wineglasses. He never gave his name. Neither did I, because I did not remember it.

We started on Code Names.

"How do you gals know Gene?" he beamed at the table.

"We're dating him," Max said.

"Team Girlfriend!" Alex laughed. Sam gave Alex a high five after a moment and a forced smile.

"Team Girlfriend?" He watched Sam with a crooked smile before he tipped his hat to me. "Supersex, indeed. I stand in awe, Gene." Under his begrudging praise, I recalled his name: Kent.

"You're sitting," Sam declared.

"Boom! Supersex victory for Team Girlfriend!" Alex erupted in giggles. I made a note to keep track of how often she refilled her wineglass.

"Uh, yeah, that makes the three of us Team Penis. Codenames?" I suggested.

"I'll go grab it." Doug got up and set off. Max was having a much better time. These were fun-to-play games. These suited her just right. Alex excelled here as well.

I ate my cheese, sipped my wine, and tanked Team Penis.

"At least we're compatible in bed," Kent announced as Doug's guess and my affirmation hit the black tile and we lost another round.

Sam and I stood together. I bumped her hip with mine as we looked over our spread of oddly complex images.

"You OK?" I asked.

"He's defecting! Bring him back to our team!" Kent warned Doug.

Doug shook his head. "If they want him, we're not stopping them."

"I'm red, you know." She tapped the blue pips on our card. "Team Penis first."

"And Team Girlfriend never!" Kent laughed. "Ah, female orgasms. Why even? Am I right?"

"No. You're not." Sam needed a soothing hand up and down her back, but she smiled at me as she regained control.

Willpower depletion: the effort it takes to keep control, saps away the ability to hold off decadent or self-destructive indulgences. I don't know if the theory is 100% sound and valid, but it feels right. I was looking at her and she was smiling back, but she was tired after a day of fighting anger and loving us. I suddenly remembered that, despite how insanely in love we were with each other, I still didn't know these girls

that

well. I hoped Sam's indulgence wasn't mean girl nastiness.