"Julia?" I pushed open the door to the bathroom. It opened smoothly and the warm glow of light hit my face, bouncing off the cool, marble tiles.
I wasn't sure what to expect, but what I saw stopped me midstride.
The response I got was a purr from the dark-haired woman laying in the middle of the space.
"Hello, Master..."
My girlfriend was on her back, wrists and feet bound together with towels. It looked like Raven had tied her and left her there before arriving in the living room to save the day.
"Jules..." I felt a lurch in my chest and stomach. Guilt. Uncertainty. This was my girlfriend, the woman I loved, entranced by a sex-trafficking businessman and used as a playing piece, a pawn... A toy. My girlfriend, the sextoy...
Don't you mean
ex-
girlfriend?
part of me thought, staring at her. But I didn't even know what to say to her, let alone how to describe our relationship. Does a breakup count if it's done under duress? How do extenuating circumstances factor in?
The lithe brunette wriggled seductively, and my eyes were drawn to the tight curves of her body. Her nipples were hard, I could already tell, and the glistening between her thighs indicated that she was
beyond
horny. "Mistress Raven said that if I stayed put, Master would come and reward me..." Julia grinned. Her eyes were bright but glazed, like she was aware of me only as a vivid dream. "Are you here to reward me, Sir...?"
I swallowed. "Jules..." I said again. For maybe the first time, I wasn't turned on by being called
Master.
I didn't want to be that guy. I wanted to be the guy who I
really
was β the one who had messed up with the woman he loved and was finally trying to make it right. It was time to be him.
The brunette bit her lip, a small turn of confusion at the corner of her mouth, a little furrow between her brows. "Is something wrong, Master?" she asked quietly, slowly.
"Please come back." I said it simply. "I need to talk to you about what happened."
I don't know what it was that broke the trance. We could pretend it was true love, or something silly, right out of a fairy tale. More likely, because Clayton had only had a short amount of time with Julia, the conditioning couldn't hold up under true emotional stress. Or, maybe, Julia had been fighting and fighting internally against his commands, and finally broke through. All I know is that at my words Julia blinked several times, like she was coming awake from a dream. She looked down at herself. Then, her eyes widened with fear as she realized she was bound. Her head snapped up, and I hated to see the uncertainty in her gaze.
"Mitch, please..." she begged. "What's going on?"
* * *
She was seated on the bed, wrapped in a bathrobe. It had been the closest thing on hand, and I didn't want to wait for her to struggle back into those yoga pants. We needed to talk, and as soon as I'd put my unresisting girlfriend on the bed I stuck my head out the door into the living room.
Lena immediately headed toward me, a concerned look on her face.
But I didn't let her say anything. "Watch Clayton," I ordered, my expression brooking no argument. I glanced to Harrison, then Raven, to include them in the instruction. "If he wakes up, make sure he can't speak and doesn't say anything. I'll be out in a bit." Then, I closed the door.
I know I should have been more careful, but Julia was on my mind. Nothing was more important, in that moment.
"Mitch..."
Her voice was numb, quiet. She was leaning back against the pillows in her fluffy white robe, knees curled up to her chest. Her eyes were wide and wet, and I could tell she was on the verge of crying with frustration and stress. "Please help me... I don't understand what's happening."
I moved quickly, kneeling beside her on the mattress. I would have reached out and taken her hand, but it was firmly grasping her opposite wrist and pulling her legs tighter to her body. I tried not to take that as a silent rejection. As it was, I contented myself with patting her arm gently and nodding. "I will. I promise. I'll tell you everything..."
So I did.
I told Julia about the first day, when I'd been seduced by Natalie. I told her about slowly uncovering the Academy's secrets, and being drawn tighter and tighter into their web. I didn't hold anything back, didn't try to hide what I'd done with Lena and with Natalie, but I also explained the post-hypnotic suggestions that lowered my inhibitions and left me defenseless against temptation. I told her everything I knew, and everything I suspected. I told her, finally, about this weekend, about the party and Lena's arrival, our escape to the hotel and our con to take down Harrison St. John.
I wasn't surprised at my revelations until I was almost done, because I had totally forgotten that I should have been unable to confide in her about any of it. I could only suspect that, as with Lena and Harrison, watching Clayton be brought low had shattered my utter obedience to his posthypnotic suggestions. I'd built him up in my mind as the ultimate authority figure, unquestionable and always in control. Seeing someone get tazed really screws with that all-powerful image.
"I felt so confused and lost, Jules..." I finally told her. I couldn't meet her eyes. "I didn't want to bring any more of this shit into your life, and I knew that what I did was wrong." I clenched my jaw. "I cheated on you. And once again, my work was interfering with our lives. That's why I left the other night with Lena. Because I couldn't handle hiding it from you anymore, and I wasn't able to get it off my chest." My hand kneaded the comforter and I let out a long, slow sigh.
Everything was quiet for a minute.
I was waiting for Julia to get mad, or sad, or something. But, when she spoke, her voice was just tired. Somehow, that was worse.
"I want to be mad at you, Mitch," she muttered. "I want to blame you. It would make it all easier. Simpler. No one should have to go through what I went through today. Or what those girls were going through. But I can't be mad..." Her dark eyes were troubled when I looked up into her face. "It's not your fault. Not really. You just got unlucky as hell. And I get that you couldn't tell me any more than you did. I know that you weren't completely in control of yourself... I mean, I guess I know what that's like. I literally just..." Her breathing sped up for a couple seconds. Then, she regained control. "I just blew your boss. Not a thought in my head. Not an ounce of resistance..."
This was worse than being under Clayton's power. Then, at least, my feelings had been dulled. I'd had no hope, and no worries. Now, though, it felt as if my chest was being twisted around and around like the double loop of an infinity sign.
"After Denton, I stuck by you. Even when everyone else told me that it was a mistake. Because I know you, Mitch. You'd never do what they claimed. You're a good man, deep down under that wacky academic's mask you wear." She laughed softly at that, and I couldn't help but twitch a small, sad smile.
I could feel Julia building up to an inevitable conclusion, and I wanted to protest, or to say that I would protect her better in the future, or something. But there was nothing more to protect her from. Just me, and the things I'd done. Because I knew, now, where she was going with this. Because
I
knew
her
, too.
"But that doesn't make it hurt any less. That doesn't mean I like the idea of what you did with those girls, or... what you'll end up doing when you go back to that place."
"I'm not..." I started to protest, but then subsided as she gave me a frank look.
"If you were about to say
I'm not planning on going back,
then don't. We both know that's a lie. You're going to go back and help those young women. You care about your students. Deeply. That's why you're good at your job. And that's why they love you."
I squirmed a little at this last, but Julia didn't seem to mean anything by it. "And that's what keeps causing all these problems, too, huh?" I tried to chuckle but just kind of snuffed a laugh.
Julia shook her head. "I don't know, Mitch. Maybe?" She seemed drained, suddenly. "You're a huge part of me. And I love you. But," she paused, took a deep breath, and had the courage to look me in the eyes as she said it. "I just think we both need some space. I'm... I'm going to leave the City for a while. There's too much to process here, and too many crazy things that are going to need to be figured out. And I know you'll need to solve it. Because that's your thing. You solve shit..." She trailed off and looked away. Then, she slowly slid her way across the mattress. She reached down for the crumpled pile of her discarded clothes.
"Where will you go?" I asked slowly. I watched, but didn't try and stop her.