By the time I had gotten home, I was prepared to tell Julia everything. I would tell her that one of my students had visited my office after hours. That she had come on to me, that I had...
I parked the car. Telling my girlfriend suddenly seemed like a terrible idea. My mind played through how the conversation would go down.
So, honey, I fucked one of my students today.
What?
Well, not technically fucked. She showed up in my office after hours. She started touching me, acting like she couldn't resist me. I didn't do anything to set her off, I swear.
Why didn't you stop her?
Well... I tried.
You tried?!
It felt really good... And...
And what...?
I clenched my jaw. Even in my imagination, I couldn't bring myself to tell Julia the deeper truth behind why I'd been unable to resist Natalie. Instead, the deep-seated, lustful part of me that had enjoyed my student's attentions without guilt answered the silent question from my imagined conversation.
And you aren't satisfying me.
I opened the front door.
"Hey, honey! How was your first day?" Jules was waiting for me in the living room, a bottle of wine on the coffee table with two glasses. She was still in her residency, which meant her hours were wacky, and today she was home before me. Her hair was pulled back in a simple ponytail and she looked relaxed in a pair of yoga pants and tee. Her simple grey v-neck stretched across her breasts, and I had to make sure my eyes didn't linger too long on the teasing distraction of her cleavage.
"Honey?" Julia was looking at me, her smile expectant.
I hid behind the NDA.
* * *
Julia was disappointed, but understood.
I'd met with the principal today, and after a conversation and a couple of questions he had told me that, to be on the safe side, talking about my work should be limited to work colleagues and students.
At least, that's what I told Julia.
"I'm sorry, Jules," I said, feeling my chest twist itself into knots as I lied to her. "I want to tell you about it, but I
did
sign the Non-Disclosure Agreement."
She pursed her lips in a grimace. "Oh well," she said. "I was just excited to hear about your big first day." She smiled. "Tell me you enjoyed it, at least?"
Oh yes,
the sex fiend in my mind answered.
"It was good," I nodded. I tried to think of something innocuous to say. "The kids are smart. Some of them are really interested in the subject." My memory flashed back to Natalie and those bright blue eyes, glazed with lust. I swallowed.
"That's great!" Julia enthused. She leaned in to kiss me on the cheek. "Well, it's easy when you have such a great teacher."
I turned my head to kiss the top of her head, an almost automatic action, and she eased into a relaxed lean against my shoulder.
"What did you do today?" I asked.
"Oh, you know." My girlfriend wriggled into a more comfortable position. "I had therapy this afternoon."
Right. Of course. That was today.
I nodded. "And how did that go? Well, I hope? Any progress?" I knew that the contents of Julia's therapy sessions were private, and I tried not to pry, but every week I hoped that there would have been some breakthrough.
"Elena said that we're doing well," Julia said. I could hear the smile in her voice as she nuzzled my shoulder. "Which makes me happy to hear."
"Well, I'm glad Dr. Carey thinks so." I tried to sound casual, but something in my tone must have been off.
Julia sat up. Her face was twisted into a hurt expression. "If this is about yesterdayβ"
"Babe..." I tried to pacify her, shaking my head.
"I'm sorry, okay!" She pushed back, out of my reach, and then stood. Her hands were clenched into fists and she was obviously upset. I didn't doubt that our sexual misadventure from yesterday was still on her mind. She'd probably talked about it with Dr. Carey. "I'm sorry I'm messed up, okay? I'm sorry I can't give you what you need!" The lovely brunette looked like she was about to cry.
I gave her what I hoped was a comforting look as I stood. I held out one hand. "Jules..." I said. "Please. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm
glad
that you and Dr. Carey are making progress. I wasn't trying to imply anything."
Julia settled down and came back to the sofa. A few minutes later, she was once again leaning against my shoulder. But there was an uneasy wall between us for the next few hours, and our only intimate moment that night was a few, extra sweet, apology kisses before bed.
"I love you, Mitch," Julia murmured sleepily. She shifted, then rolled away to her side of the bed.
"I love you too, Jules," I whispered back, softly. Then, I settled down on my back and forced myself to ignore the fantasies of my student that tried to play their way across the movie screen of my mind.
* * *
I dreaded the next day.
Then, when I woke up, I dreaded my commute to the Academy.
The fear grew as I walked my route, becoming more familiar, through the school and up the stairs to my office. But it had settled somewhat by the time my first class rolled around twenty minutes later. For a little over an hour, at least, I could settle into a safe world of math. I could forget that I would be seeing Natalie in my next class section, andβ
"Good morning, Professor."
I swallowed. Then I looked up from my lesson plan.
Natalie was standing in the doorway, leaning one shoulder against the frame. She wore a play on yesterday's outfit, with a dark green theme in the jacket and plaid, instead of navy blue. Her voice was as surprisingly deep and rich as before.
I found myself wondering whether she sang, or did cheer, or something where her voice was an asset. Then I blinked several times and coughed softly as my throat constricted. "Yes, of course... ahem, good morning, Natalie."
She didn't move when I looked away.
I looked back up.
She was watching me thoughtfully. Her bright blue eyes were hard to read.
"I didn't expect to see you this early," I said. I felt like I was compelled to make conversation, like it would be weird to leave my student standing there watching me with no comment. "I thought you were in a later class."
She nodded. Hair fell in front of her face, a blonde and brown bang, and she tucked it behind her ear. "I was," she agreed. "But I switched sections last night. I figured it might be easier..."
I frowned, confused. "Easier how?" I asked. My voice was remarkably calm now.
The teen shrugged. "If you ever want me to stay the night at your place. You could drive me back in the morning and it would match my class schedule."