*BEEP*
*BEEP*
*BEEP*
Huh? Wha-?
Blinking and disoriented, I looked around. That had been the craziest, nastiest dream of my life, and I was still reeling from it. The room was pitch black, adding to my confusion. My back ached as I sat up. I had been lying on the floor for some reason? Why was I naked?
"Rise and shine, princess," a voice called. Suddenly, my eyes were blinded by a thousand exploding suns. Or maybe the lights had just been turned on. It hurt all the same.
I found myself in an unfamiliar bedroom, memories of last night crashing over me. Oh fuck, it hadn't been a dream.
Of course it hadn't, my nightmares were never so sadistic. Reality was another story.
Flushing scarlet, I remembered what he'd made me feel and wrapped the blanket close around me. That lasted until I remembered his instructions. No more able to resist him now than last night, the blanket was soon folded at the foot of his bed and I was left bare. For some reason, I began to suspect this would be a theme for the rest of our relationship. Still exposed to his wandering eyes, I bent over and began making his bed. Funny, I'd always been a bit untidy, and had rarely bothered to make my own bed. Still, it was my duty to keep things looking neat and clean for him, and I wouldn't feel comfortable until the job was done.
As I straightened the covers, I wondered what I'd do for clothing now. Fortunately, or unfortunately as it would turn out, I didn't have to wait long. As I finished tidying up the bed, I heard a noise behind me. He held a plastic bin full of my things, and a gleeful smile on his face. Seconds later, my old clothes were piled high in the middle of his room.
That's when I noticed the shears.
He held them out to me. Long metal blades, shining in the morning light. Solidly built, they felt a whole lot heavier once I held them in my hands. I blinked my incomprehension. What did he want with these?
"First things first, the clothes," He said, "They are to be stored neat and orderly at all times. Is that understood?"
"Yes, sir," I said, "Thank you."
I was almost grateful to him. At least until I remembered that he was
graciously
allowing me to keep my own things. He had a big, fancy looking wardrobe. It was solid oak with tastefully abstract carvings all up and down the front. My things were going in the bin. He was not doing me a favor.
"Of course," He said with a wicked leer, "It would be absolutely intolerable for
any
of my possessions to appear slovenly."
Yeah, and that includes me, I get it. Probably thinks he's so subtle, that bastard.
"But first things first, let's make sure it's all suitable, shall we?" He gestured to the pile.
Still not understanding, I did as he instructed and took the first thing off the pile. A green dress. Cute, frilly, it was so much fun to wear on those first warm days of spring when you could finally shuck off the heavy bulk of winter clothes. Holding it up against my body, I realized that I was still naked. Funny, how quickly that came to seem normal. There was nothing he hadn't already seen to the fullest extent last night, and it's not like my protests would give him two seconds pause. If anything, they'd amuse him.
His gaze swept over the dress, all up and down my body, and I could tell he cared little for the fashion. How cute it looked, how well it accessorized, those meant nothing to him. All that mattered was how well it showed me off, how it displayed his... property. Did it leave enough of my legs bare, did it show off my tits? Those were the questions he was asking. It made me sick, how much he cheapened the whole experience. Almost, I wished I'd never bought the damned thing, but it was too late now. Apparently it passed muster, because he sent it to the "keep" pile.
More outfits followed, each tested against his own crude standards. Most, he kept. I don't know if that was an indictment of my tastes, or just practicality on his part. A clear pattern emerged early, especially with my underwear. Colorful, sexy, or see-through were definitely keepers. Anything merely plain or functional was gone. I almost cried when I was forced to throw out many of my most comfortable bras in favor of prettier ones. My protests had fallen upon deaf ears, except when I explained how well a particular plain-looking bra would show off my boobs when it was worn under clothing. I was allowed to keep it. That's what I was reduced to. Futility bartering my own body in hopes of keeping what should have been mine to begin with.
I learned what the shears were for when we got to an older pair of pants. Victor decided he'd like them better as cutoff shorts, so snip-snip and there went the legs. A few more joined them, and in the end I was grateful he let me keep any intact. Grateful. What a joke.
My eyes lit up as I pulled my favorite sweater from the pile. In this time of trouble, it almost felt like a welcome friend I'd never expected to see again. Oh, surely he'd let me keep it, this was one of the cutest things I owned.
"Useless," he said, "get rid of it."
"What?" I asked, shocked beyond disbelief. Surely there was some mistake.
"I never understood why you'd wear something so baggy and shapeless, and you won't be ever again. Destroy it."
"You can't-" I shouted before I caught myself.
"I can't?" his tone was dangerous.
"Please," I begged, "I'd gotten rid of everything else you wanted. Just let me keep this one, just this one. It's my favorite. Please. I'll do whatever you say, I'll be a good girl."
He paused, and just for one brief moment I thought he might relent. I should have known better.
"I don't remember asking your opinion," he finally told me. "and it isn't
your
anything. I own that shirt, I own you, and I'll decide what one piece of my property does with another. A good girl? You'll be that either way. Now destroy it. Cut it down to little, tiny ribbons like the trash it is."
No! My hands ached to move, but I wouldn't let them.
Little, tiny ribbons
. Our eyes locked and I had the increasingly uncomfortable feeling of staring him down. I knew he held all the cards, but I was unwilling to back down.
Cut it, destroy it.
My hands itched, yearning to move. I knew that nothing would feel right until it lay in tatters. My favorite sweater, the one I'd worn on my first date with Adam, for our first kiss.
Trash
. I wouldn't do it. He couldn't make me. There had to be a line somewhere, some indignity I wouldn't cross. It was a silly place to resist. It was just a sweater, after all, but it was
My
sweater. Call me silly or sentimental, I still would fight.
Oh, but it hurt. That creeping, clawing unhappiness wormed and writhed fitfully beneath my skin. So wrong to fight it. That sweater
needed
to be destroyed.
I slipped. Just one little moment of weakness and the shears seemed to leap out on their own. A gash appeared down the front of it, ruining the sweater forever. Immediately, my hand recoiled. No, I wouldn't, I couldn't. But I had. The damage was done. My hands cut again and again, tearing, ripping,
destroying
. Screaming in forlorn rage, I tore into it, crying out all my frustrations against the clothing because I could never do against my real tormentor. Again and again I cut, ripped, tore, demolished. It was a berserk frenzy of ruination unleashed against the target of my rage.
When I came out of it, I was kneeling on the floor. The ruined remnants of my orgiastic destruction were scattered around me. There was little left to tell that had it had ever been a sweater, much less my beloved favorite.
"Good girl," Victor said, bending down to give me a pat on the head. "You can clean up the mess later."
The worst part was that his praise did make me feel good. I'd just destroyed a priceless memento of my old life, and all it took to console me was a cheap pat on the head. This was nuts. Lost and groundless, I felt like I was losing my mind. Where could I turn, when even my feelings were the enemy? I sobbed again, and all he did was laugh.
The sun had risen by the time we finished, shining through the broad glass door of his balcony and warming my still bare skin. A small pile of shredded cloth lay beside my knees, courtesy of Victor's continued opinion of my fashion sense. More clothing slashed and ruined beyond use, others so heavily altered as to be unrecognizable. I would have considered the latter ruined beyond use as well, but apparently Victor had other idea. Too tired and numb to resist, I didn't question it. There didn't seem any point.
We made it to the bottom of the pile, the part I'd been hoping had been forgotten by whoever had gone into my room and collected my things (and they
were
my things, whatever Victor said about the matter). The stuff from the bottom of the drawers, the back of my closet. Things I'd bought or acquired over the years, but never dared wear in public.
"Now that's more like it," Victor said as he held up a lace-covered red basque. "You'd been holding out on us. How come I've never seen you in anything like this?"
"iveneverwornitbefore," I mumbled.
"What was that?"
"I have never worn it before," I said, averting my eyes and blushing as scarlet as the lingerie. It had been a gift, a little joke from Emily last year when we took a trip together. We'd laughed and giggled about it, but I chickened out when she suggested I try it on and take some pictures. It had lain in the bottom of my underwear drawer ever since. It had been a thing best forgotten, until now.
"How sad," he said in mock sympathy, "Well don't worry, we'll fix that before too long."
Great. Just what I needed, another indignity. Even standing there naked, the thought of wearing that for him turned my stomach.