Asymmetric Bases Ch 04

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As a sort of a disclaimer: All of the characters, locations and events (unfortunately) are fiction, in this chapter and the previous ones.

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Edited on 03/19/2022, including revisions and corrections, no changes about the story.

Edited on 02/02/2023, corrections, no changes about the story.

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This Wednesday I woke up to an empty house again. This time there were no notes or kisses for me. I remembered her saying stuff about a workshop this week but I couldn't remember when, I figured out it was that day.

I was alone the whole day, there was nothing to work on in my emails or messages and I didn't want to watch anything.

I started to think about her and us, what had been going on.

She, for the first time, wandered beyond her previous actions and gave me an incredible show with her pussy, one which I never had a matching experience in my life.

I still hadn't seen her breasts, not completely, which was odd.

She had a beautiful pussy that she should have been proud of, if there were such a thing. I didn't know if women had any thoughts about their pussies or even if they thought about how it looked like. Or whether they envied other women's pussies or not.

I wasn't sure about pussies but I would bet that they cared about their breasts. How couldn't they? Men fell in love with women's breasts before seeing their faces in many cases. I thought that this could have been the reason she wasn't displaying her breasts, if she felt vulnerable about them.

But, the partial view of her breasts looked quite nice, so there should have been a mole or something there, if she was being hesitant to show them. I didn't know whether it would matter for me or not; it depended on how hideous it looked. Of course, this was only my inner voice talking to me; it was always possible that she could have done it just to make me curious about them.

Anyway, I wasn't feeling very uplifted that morning, possibly because of the extraordinary end of the night. Besides her showing me her pussy, she spectacularly satisfied herself in front of me and after doing that for 2 days in a row, she might have disposed of all her urges about playing this game or about me. I was feeling on the edge with her all the time, so I couldn't get this idea out of my head. And, not seeing her after that, after she kicked me off the bed like a toy, I was feeling more insecure.

There was another problem. She made her game more exciting and addictive for me continuously and while she was doing that, the observation and participation in her masturbation put her pussy in my mind with neon letters. I couldn't get it out of my mind. She was still setting the priority of her body parts in my head.

I wanted that sight and taste all the time within my grasp but there was one thing I definitely wanted more. To have it.

Since the beginning, this was the peak of my 'chasing sex' venture. I jerked off after seeing I was alone and it made me feel more deprived, that I was so close to the light, I even smelled and tasted it but I was still trying to dream of it, instead of owning it.

This was like an itch, only to get worse when you try to get some relief scratching it or in other words, jerking off. I knew these were all natural outcomes of her roadmap, her game, plan or even worse, products of her mind in real time, without planning.

I was thinking that I was at unclear and possibly important crossroads, where the main path was going to lead me to try to cope up with her, possibly only to be more addicted to her, again possibly without going forward much. Going backwards was another option of her choice, that I didn't even want to consider. Because, I did not feel the power to change my fate in the heat of her daily shows, where I was the prop. I didn't see myself resisting if she chose to roll back my access rights on her as well.

I also noticed that my wife hadn't called me for the last 3 days and I didn't call her, which was odd. I decided to call my wife, Megan, to make sure everything was ok.

She probably was at the beach when I called because there were lots of voices around her.

I was happy to hear her voice when she answered, I said "Hi, what's up? Did you forget me?"

She answered warmly "No but I didn't want to disturb you in your weekend, you deserved to have a relaxing time for yourself too. You sounded tired the last time."

What kind of a man was I? She was so considerate and I was groveling on the floor to get into some girl's pants. This made my mood hit the bottom drastically.

"You're lovely and the best, thank you. Having a good time?"

"Yes, as usual, sea, friends, you know the drill. Will you be able to come here for a few days?"

"Not likely but I will let you know if I can fix a way to do that."

"Ok, don't drink too much, bye."

"Bye"

I couldn't move. I felt guilty big time. I was risking so much, even if we had been missing most fun parts in our marriage lately, I didn't want to lose her. In any case, I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

On the other hand, this conversation didn't help me get rid of the naughty perversions in my mind. But it did help me to decide to act, instead of being so passive. This way, I would reach the finish line and get this affair out of my system before it was too late. But how?

She came back late, looking really tired (and good looking in her trousers and blouse) waved me, telling me that she was going to bed at once and she added that she would be in a meeting the next day as well.

Bummer.

Next morning was similar. I had no idea what she was thinking about us, no action, feeling still guilty.

I wondered Amy's mood, so I called her.

She answered with a silent voice "I'm in a meeting, is it urgent?"

"No, just wanted to hear your voice."

"You're sweet, I left you something on my bed."

"Really?"

"Yes, and bye, I'll be late."

I kept sitting in the couch, wanted to be calm before I went to her room. This was the first step of my decision to gain some control. I had to control myself first of all. I stood up, made a coffee and sat back down. I had to set a manifesto for my behaviors for the future, also could be called as a 'loser's algorithm'.

I had no idea what she might have left there for me, so this would be the first step of that algorithm. It could be a hot thing or a repetition of something I had before. Another option, it could be something I wouldn't like (never seen such since I came here).

If it was a repetition and something that I would consider as a back step, my mind would have more control. If it was hot, I had to be prepared for that.

Since I decided to try to fuck her as soon as possible, I needed more confidence as I did in my younger years. Both mentally and physically. I had to get into a more attractive version of myself, as much as possible in short time.

I decided to go for a run after seeing whatever it was. When I ran, I generally got rid of garbage thoughts in my mind, increased my self-esteem and after a running week, my shape also started to recover quickly. This was a good plan. I would consider the rest after that run.

I finished my coffee to increase my resistance points and went to her room.

There was a dossier lying on her bed, with a note saying "Shawn's homework."

I might have smiled at that teaching associate joke but I needed to stay intact and emotionless, not to divert from my plan or algorithm, whatever it was with only one step planned in it.

I opened the cover, to see 'How to perform A-Level Cunnilingus' on the first page of some printouts.

Was that a joke? Wait, was this our next step? It took some time for me to recover from the hot sights rushing to my head. I quickly went through the pages without reading and saw that it really was describing how to please a female partner using your mouth and tongue on her pussy.

She didn't know how I did that; she had no idea how good or bad I was, she didn't even wonder about my skills on this!

This really pissed me off. At that moment I was an angry guy with a hard on, thinking that my face would be buried in her crotch area the next time. I quickly put on my shorts and t-shirt, set some aggressive hard-rock music on my phone, put my earphones and went out.

I was energized because of my anger and I ran for about an hour, of course at a slow pace after all those inactive months. An hour was a good performance for a start.

The run did not help me get rid of that anger and frustration. At some point I was talking to myself, saying stuff like "Peh, she should have read my book on cunnilingus, instead of those lousy notes."

But the run helped me to calm down my hormones, giving me a bit of control as I planned. I returned to her house, made myself lunch and enjoyed it watching TV, as I did most of the time before I came here. Then I started to think about what to do.

I needed some ground rules, where to resist, where to reject, where to cope with. At least, for the predictable characteristics of those possible situations. Otherwise, she would immediately put me in my place. I wished I knew about her master plan.

I decided not to do anything I had done before, the things which could be considered as step backs or losing control. None of them. Even if I wanted to. I had a pause. I was considering what if she made me kiss her feet again.

It was a new experience and a very different sensation for me and I wasn't sure whether it would break my will to resist or not, if she staged something like that.

That day was the day she owned my dignity and I loved her for that. I decided to think about it later, as in including her feet to the previous set or not.

I also decided to resist anything which wasn't leading us to the sex stuff. I would have to trust my feelings and judgement at those moments.

The most important part. Degrading stuff. I had to think about this a lot because that was another new thing for me and I loved the degrading feeling. But I also knew that it was the ingredient which was unbalancing our status and that was the main cause keeping me away from having her.

I would be risking everything if I resisted to such plots. So, the main topic was clear. Without making this decision, acting on it and taking that risk, the rest of the plan would be meaningless. This decision had to be made.

What if I said no to anything? I could imagine her acting like she did the morning in which she was blocking me. It was a high possibility that she would understand I was trying to force my counter plan on her.

I decided to act as if I wasn't much into such an action, instead of a solid rejection. She never forced me to do something I didn't want, she never interrupted her 'this is a mutual decision' attitude, so she would have to step out of her plan or comply. Finally, I started to think.

So, unfortunately, the decision about the feet also became 'included'. I hoped she wasn't going to test me on that soon.

I believed that this was settled. I had time, because probably she would be tired again and depending on the dossier, the next plan was definitely a step to sex, one which was not a degrading one in my head. I was going to be a caring lover to pleasure my woman by cunnilingus.

Before I turned the TV on, a brilliant idea popped in my head, I decided not to read that garbage and to show her my way in pleasuring a woman. This way, she would have seen that I still had a spine.

At night, she came back in a skirt and jacket which was grayish wheat color, with her silky matte silver nylons and heels matching her dress. She looked gorgeous. She had a white shirt in her jacket, with two top buttons unbuttoned, which was another thing I happened to find very elegant and sexy on women.

I tried to act cool, raising my head once to nod her. I put on a straight confident face and looked at her calmly.

She looked kind of tired and after seeing me, her eyes got focused on me, as if she was a wolf smelling blood. She stood there looking at me. She was definitely thinking about something.

My mind was racing, I adored her looks and also adored her penetrating stare. I hoped she didn't want me to do something in my no-no list because I didn't see myself resisting anything, she already got me hot.

"Didn't you miss me?" she said.

"Of course I did, how are you?"

"I'm very tired and my feet hurt."

No, please no; if she pushed me there it would ruin everything before it started. I needed time to be strong.

"Do you have to wear heels to those meetings? It's a university, why don't you wear casual?" I needed to divert the subject from being hot.

"It's more..." she stopped, leaning on the wall behind her, pressed her heel on the floor, removed her heel from that shoe's back, slightly moving the shoe on its heel side to side. I was in a paranoid state so I was sure that she definitely sensed that something had been going on and was quickly acting on it to break me. I had to resist.

"More?"

She put her foot back in the shoe and completed her sentence

"Professional."

I knew she changed the word. She might have thought 'intimidating' or 'tempting' but not professional, I could have bet on that.

"Maybe you're right."

"What's going on?" she wouldn't let it go. All I needed was some peaceful time until my dedication grew its roots a bit.

"Nothing, I'm tired too, I was just about to go to bed." Nice, showing her that I have a personality too.

"If you say so..." She relented. Was this an act or was she really disappointed that I wasn't going to spend time with her? Her voice was not like her. She was gazing at the floor as if she was thinking.

"I go to bed early too, then."

She was all sweet and I upset her with my artificial plans. I didn't want that, I wanted her to be happy as well.

I asked "Was there something on your mind? As if to do together? Or..."

"No, but I didn't see you for the last two days and I wanted to spend time before we went to sleep."

"OK, I'm OK with that. I can stay."

"No, I don't want to force you..."

I thought all day and I wasn't prepared for a vulnerable Amy situation.

"I think I love you." I said hesitantly.

"What?

"I mean, I love spending time with you, you know..." How did this get here? Was I telling the truth? Did I really love her? I wasn't expecting her to act like that petite, soft girl; I was expecting some kind of quarrel.

She looked at me with inquiring eyes, she was busy on what I said. She hadn't been expecting that either, probably.

"I don't believe you." she said, very calmly and with a serious voice. "You had something on your mind and you were trying to get rid of me before I was upset. Right?"

This was going south. She read my initial behavior as I was acting cold and she became upset instead of retaliating. I had to get to sincere mode instead of pursuing my plans but I crossed the line and...

"OK, there was something, you're right."

"I'm listening."

"Since the day before, I..."

"You want more, right?" she looked sincere.

"Yes!"

"What do you have on your mind? And is it worth breaking my heart?"

I really felt like shit, not that I believed she was genuinely sad but it was really pathetic to act out of my normal self just to get laid. But I didn't just want to get laid, I wanted her.

I stammered "I want you; do you need to ask?"

"I told you, in its own time, everything is ahead. Do you want to stop now? Just because you felt impatient for a few hours or days?"

I finally addressed the elephant in the room "I don't want to stop but the balance is definitely sliding towards your side."

"No, it's not."

I stood speechless. Was she playing me or could she really be seeing it different than I did?

She continued "Are you saying what you got didn't matter for you? You could give it up just to have sex?"

What did she mean by 'give it up'? As the natural result of having sex or was she going to block me having them?

"No, you said you too wanted both..."

"Yes, and I also said without rushing it." Was she right about that? Was I being impatient or panicking for no reason?

I knew I rushed to the subject and screwed my plan; even worse, I put myself in a vulnerable position. Why did I make that straight face in the beginning?

She was changing subjects continuously, as if she didn't want to let me settle in one mood "Did you get my gift?"

Our love related talk was out of the picture already and she brought this subject at a time where I was completely caught off guard, it was going to get worse.

But nothing to do about it so I replied "Yeah, I saw it."

"You saw it, nice. So, you didn't read it?" She was like a teacher - which she kind of was - asking about the homework - which it kind of was, at least according to what was written on it.

"What makes you think I needed to read it?"

She answered clearly "I prepared it for you to read. It tells you what I want."

No wonder, it is always about what she wanted. "What about what I wanted?"

"When that time comes, you may put a printout about it too, I would gladly read it."

Did she mention a blowjob? With that thought occupying my whole brain, I tried to stay in the conversation "I'm listening?"

"Listening to what? I already told what I was going to say."

The aggressive look on her face made me come back to reality, so I defensively said "How can you not want to live the natural thing? How can you not want to see what I could offer?"

"OK, show me."

"?" Was she serious?

"Show me."

I was over the clouds, I was picturing myself kneeling in front of her, raising that skirt while kissing her thighs, kissing her pussy over the pantyhose and her panties, then lowering them one by one and finally kissing her beautiful moist pussy before starting to eat it. I already took a few steps towards her.

"Excuse me?" She fumed.

"I thought you meant now?" with a moronic look on my face.

"Of course not. When the time comes." I could swear she held her laughter to stay angry, I should have looked really stupid. Then the anger was wiped from her face and we were standing like that.

She joyfully was inspecting the changes in my mood, me getting excited, getting surprised, my zombie-like movements towards her and finally getting upset. All about eating her pussy. I experienced all these on behalf of her pleasure, her satisfaction. The variations on the opportunity to serve her pussy made me hot, happy, sad within seconds. She definitely should have been proud of her pussy, knowing that power it gave her.

After a few seconds of satisfaction, she removed the heel of her foot slightly out of her shoe again, turning her foot slightly outwards, to make me see her heel in nylons. It was luring me, especially after my will on resisting her had been broken by my emotional shake in the previous episode.

I was giving a fight not to collapse on her foot, she made me a complete foot freak; before her, I just liked admiring beautiful feet but at that point, hers were my number one gems.

I loved their shape, smell, smooth and moist texture, especially when covered with her nylons or socks. Before that, I only massaged one or two girls' feet, without feeling an urge to kiss them or other things. I adored them on movies but most of the time I didn't think much about them. Oh, except the Tarantino scene in that Robert Rodriguez movie, with Salma Hayek on the stage with her snake. And possibly a few more movies. But I always passed the feet category when looking for porn.

It was possible that there were more than one forms of feet related stuff, at least my trigger was apparently about the woman herself, rather than the foot.