Chapter 8: You Gotta Pick A Pocket or Two
All of this was several years ago. I created the plan and worked it.
First, I had work assign me over to sales where I worked my magic. Everyone in business knows that IT is dominated by guys. Anyone in IT knows that most managers are empty suits.... Yes men.... Guys who got to their positions by telling their superiors exactly what they wanted to hear and leaving the company before the consequences hit, only to create the same havoc in the next company. They push their staff to work through minor obstacles... like the laws of physics. I recall one such conversation from my days as an engineer
Manager: "What do you mean we cannot instantly download data from our Paris office here in LA?"
Me: "Europeans use these things called 'electrons' and so they are limited by Einstein's laws of relativity. We'll need them to upgrade to tachyons and fix that whole space time continuum thing."
Anyway, my sales thing... I got my bosses to ignore my expense reports because I was generating so much money. I started generating leads at trade shows and conventions. There is at least one per week someplace. I would show up and walk the hall, picking the hottest of the booth babes and letting the pheromones fly. Within the first hour I would have three or more arranged to meet me for a party I was "hosting" at some local bar. Next I would look for the sort of executive who would be grabbing swag or drooling over the booth babes and chat them up. I would get one or two of them (no more than that) to come to the party.
The parties were top shelf if I do say so myself. It should come as no surprise that these conferences are typically held in nice hotels so I would rent an executive suite for the party. I would get some of the best foods and top shelf booze set up. I tried to hit regional or national conferences so that the executives would most likely be staying in the hotel or a hotel nearby.
One conference in San Francisco stands out, mostly because the booth babes were a bit unusual. This was some sort of regional technical showcase. To be honest the conference content has run together over the years so I am not really sure. Anyway, two of the booth babes were, for lack of a better term, standard booth babes. Jessica is a very hot administrative assistant for her company who was there to attract in guys, hand out literature and steer men to the sales people. She had blonde hair done up in a bun and wore a metallic Calvin Klein suit – the one with the pencil skirt. She had on classy pumps with a very high heels and light colored hose. Gwen doubled as both a booth babe and sales woman. I would later hire her for just that reason. She was tall with long black hair. She wore a red Kasper suit – with a sheath dress and a cropped jacket (all the better to show off her very cute butt). She had on white hose and red high heeled sandals with ankle straps. It was a very sexy look.
The two standout booth babes came from a gaming company. They were introducing some sort of new game. My nieces and nephews have since given it rave reviews. Several women were around their booth dressed in the character costumes talking up the game and posing for pictures. Gina was a dark haired beauty with the features of a young Sophia Lauren. She was dressed as something called a "blood elf." I gather this is some sort of race of warrior elven women. She wore a low cut embellished leather bodice in purple, black and red that showed enough of her very well formed cleavage to really distract any male she might meet in combat. A short black piece of filmy fabric hung down between her legs and over her very shapely butt. She accented the outfit with a garter of small knives, leather elbow length gloves that matched the bodice and thigh high leather boots with a very high stiletto heels that would double as a weapon in need, I suppose.
I will show my age with the second woman, Jana, and why she stands out in my mind. Every man over a certain age who grew up watching the original Star Trek has had fantasies about Orion slave girls - the green chicks! Jana's costume was ripped off (in the most loving manner I'm sure) from this Star Trek character while adding certain modern technical advances in brassiere technology not available to Gene Rodenberry. She was, of course, painted green from head to toe. Her top was some sort of tan fake animal skin, the color of elk hide, with a single strap over one shoulder. The top was aided by the latest advancements in push up bra technology from Victoria's Secret and displayed cleavage that rivaled the Grand Canyon. Her bottom was a mix of the same fake animal hide and the open mesh that one often sees belly dancers wear, including gold coins. She could not, of course, walk around a convention in bare feet, as the original Orion slave woman. Instead she had on thigh high boots (someone at her company must have gotten a deal on these boots) dyed to match the same elk hide tan. The four inch heels showed off her stunning legs and buns.
The two executives, Jeff and Alan were enthralled by these women. Booth guys were on the far side of 45, with the paunches, double chins and receding hair lines to prove it. I doubted they exercised at all. Both sported wedding rings, though that never stopped any man who came to these soirees before or since Over the course of the business relationship that developed, I would confirm my suspicion that both of these guys were world class space cadets, Bozos of the first order, several fries short of a happy meal.... You get the picture.
Everyone had come straight from the convention and the women had not changed. I greeted everyone with a handshake making sure I poured on the pheromones, urging them to flirt and tease with abandon. I poured drinks for everyone, making sure the guys got double shots in the cocktails they ordered and sat back to observe the interactions.
Jeff's tastes tended to run to what he thought was sophisticated. He immediately gravitated to Gwen and Jessica and was soon sitting between them on the couch as they flirted, adjusted their skirts to flash more thigh and leaned forward to flash cleavage. Jessica would routinely touch Jeff's thigh while Gwen would straiten Jeff's tie or pretend to brush something from his suit, taking the opportunity to press her breasts against him. With the second round of drinks, both Gwen and Jessica took turns feeding Jeff or each other. They tended to select fruit and would make the sexiest moves with their lips as they tucked into strawberries dipped in dark chocolate.
Alan was actually quite a sci-fi fan and was soon going on about the nuances of warp drives and elven blades while Jana and Gina nodded in fake attention. Alan was sitting in an arm chair with each of the women perched on the arms. From that angle their breasts were directly at eye level and Alan lapped in the view.
After the third round of drinks, everyone was pleasantly buzzed.
"This isn't really party music!" Jessica slurred a bit. "Let's try this!"
She pulled out her MP3 player. I had jazz on – you cannot beat Miles Davis and Coltrane in my humble opinion but I recognized things needed to get rowdier.
"Ok." I said taking the player. "Any particular set of tracks?"
"I have a great playlist of dance music." Jessica said.
A chorus of "Cool!" "Great" "Play it" reached me so I switched over. Dead Mau pounded from the speakers.
Jessica grabbed Jeff and pulled him up to dance. Jessica really knew how to move her body. Jeff, on the other hand, was the champion of the white man's overbite, 45 year old division. I busied myself making drinks while Gina got Alan up to dance. In her leather corset she could stand still and look hot, but when she moved it was like watching a standing lap dance. Alan stood almost stock still with his legs spread, swaying just a bit to the beat while Gina pressed her thigh into his crotch, then turned and wiggled her ass against him. I could see the bulge in his pants from across the room.
I handed fresh drinks to Gwen and Jana, making sure I made skin contact and suggesting to them that they wanted nothing more than a threesome that night. A new song came on and I suggested that Gwen and Jana dance with Jeff and Alan, while getting Jessica and Gina fresh drinks. I could see them both glaring at their counterparts with jealousy, so I imparted to them the same suggestion for a threesome.
Gina stood next to the area with the drinks swaying to the music and sipping her black Russian and talking with me but staring at Jana and Alan. After a few moments she excused herself and started dancing with Alan and Jana, making an Alan sandwich between them. Jana was rubbing her body up and down Alan, who had taken off his suit jacket at this point. Jana's green body paint was rubbing off on Alan's obviously expensive dress white shirt. I wondered how he'd explain that to his dry cleaner... or his wife. Gina was pressing her tits into Alan's back and grabbing his ass while Jana pressed her thigh into his crotch, leaving a green streak of makeup on his pants. Alan turned to Gina , who turned and pressed her ass against his hardness.
Jessica took this in and announced "That is a great idea!" and strutted over to Jeff and Gwen, treating them to similar action at first, then adding a long tongue teasing kiss with Jeff for good measure.
