Fi
**Arrivals**
Agbagwa summoned a taxi at the airport's main exit, Agbagwa thought back to the two customs officers who'd taken him into a small office. At first, the short fat blonde in her late forties had been aggressive and very cheeky. The other -- a slim young man with short fair hair -- hadn't spoken much. Between them, they asked many questions and, even though Agbagwa told them he was a prince in his village in Africa, they still persisted in searching his belongings.
His opened bag revealed lots of dried plants, some small glass bottles, and clothes."
What is all this?" the small woman had asked sternly."
These items," Agbagwa answered, "Are all vital to my stay in your country."
The blonde looked at her colleague who nodded and aggressively stepped forward."I can assure you they are quite safe. I can prove it," Agbagwa said, reaching into the bag. He pulled out a small package, unfolded it, and showed the officers a large leaf with ashes and powder inside.
The officers stared at Agbagwa. "You cannot bring these items into the country in your personal luggage," the blonde officer stated. "They must be declared. And we're not satisfied with the reasons for your visit or length of stay."
"We're going to recommend that you're sent back on the next available flight," the man said. The blonde was about to continue when Agbagwa blew the powder mixture into both officers' faces. He watched as they straightened up, blank expressions on their faces. Agbagwa smiled. "You're feeling calm," he intoned.
"You feel safe and relaxed listening to my voice, don't you?" They nodded. "You're both satisfied with my reasons for coming to your country. I'm on holiday and have only holiday clothes in my bag. You're happy to let me be on my way."Agbagwa closed his bag then looked at the entranced officers. He smiled and examined their ID badges. "Officer John, tell me what it's like working with Officer Hughes here, from a male colleague point of view."
The young man stretched and yawned.
"She's a bitch. The rest of the guys call her the Poisoned Dwarf or mini-Hitler. She's the strictest in the department and takes her work far too seriously all the time. We have a laugh because she's never had a guy and we believe that she'd lighten up if someone gave her a right good fucking."
"Would you like to fuck her?" Agbagwa asked.
"No, I'm recently married."
"If you weren't married, would you?"
"No.""Why not?"
"Well, first off, she's old enough to be my mother and she's not attractive. She's overweight by about four stones and has a face like a witch. And then there's the fact that all the guys hate her."
"How long have you been married? Do you have a picture?" asked Agbagwa.
"Four months," said the man, pulling out his wallet and sliding out a picture of his wife.Agbagwa took the wallet and the photograph.
The woman was fair-skinned and had long, curly red hair. She looked about 22-years-old.
"You are lucky, she's very attractive. But, from now on, you will want little Hitler here. She's now your ultimate fantasy: a small, fat, ugly woman. Even when you make love to your wife, you will imagine Officer Hughes." Agbagwa took a deep breath then continued, "You won't want anyone to find out, but you'll still long to have a secret, passionate affair with her. You'll stay with your wife because she's the perfect cover -- no one will know about your embarrassing passion." Agbagwa returned the wallet, minus the cash he'd found.
"Officer Hughes," he said, turning to the blonde, "what do you think about your fellow worker's thoughts about you?" As the woman stared at Agbagwa, her cheeks flushed. "It's embarrassing. I'm only strict and aggressive because I'm unhappy. I only have my job."
Agbagwa pondered.
"From now on, you will drop that attitude. You'll be upbeat, confident, flirty, and sexually adventurous. You'll let any guy go all the way with you. Also, you'll know that Officer John here fancies you, but doesn't want to act because of what people will say." The woman nodded.
"I also want your bank card and PIN as payment for this gift. And tell me a hotel where I can stay and use your card for payment. One month from now, you'll both meet me there and let me know how things are going."