Mike has asked me to write about my feelings about him hypnotizing me. He first tried it when we had our first date. It was in my apartment and we had just returned from a romantic dinner with musicians that went around to the tables and wine with our meals. Neither of us was much of a drinker. The wine had made me a little wobbly and slow. I definitely felt mellow.
I was young and my only sexual experience had not been particularly pleasant and certainly not fulfilling. Mike was a large, good-looking man who was twice as big as I was. Actually he was 6'4" 235 and I was 5' 2" 98 pounds. I was very impressed with him. He was successful, owned his own substantial company and was very authoritative. I was looking for a man that would take charge of my life, or so I thought.
I knew that I was very unsatisfied with my sex life. I had no idea what to do about it. I certainly was not going to tell a doctor about my sexual issues. That would have embarrassed me much too much. So, there we were, in my apartment with me feeling groggy and not having any idea what to do next. We still hadn't even kissed. I certainly wanted to do that. I went to him and tilted my head up toward his face and hoped he would get the point.
He did and we had a wonderful kiss. He put his arm around me. His right hand went all the way around and under my right breast. It felt wonderful and I began to feel weird. I loved it. Mike led me to the couch and we sat down. We continued kissing and groping. He told me to put my head back and dream of what I would like to be doing. I didn't even think about it. I just did it.
I had visions of Mike making love to me. I have no idea how long I lay like that. The next thing I remember was Mike asking me if he could hypnotize me. I said: "Why would you want to do that?"
He replied: "Because it will feel good and it will make you be happy and I will enjoy doing it."
I thought about it. At least I think I thought about it. I really wanted Mike to make love to me and I didn't know how to deal with that. I told him that he could try, but I didn't expect to be a good subject. I didn't like people controlling me.
He told me to put my head back and to relax. He kept talking to me in his deep voice about relaxation. I couldn't tell you exactly what he said. I felt very relaxed. He had me put my arms out stiff and then he told me to let them loose. I do remember my arms plopping to my lap. The next thing I remember is Mike told me to stiffen my whole body. I remember making my body very stiff. He had me hold it for what seemed an eternity. Then he suddenly told me to make my entire body limp. I remember the feeling was like I was falling through the sky. I don't remember anything else about what happened on the couch. The next thing I remember is we were in my bedroom and I was sitting on the bed. Mike was sitting next to me. I was clueless about how I got there.
I said, "Mike how did I get here?" He replied that I shouldn't worry about it. Somehow that reassurance made me stop worrying about it. He put his arm around me and we kissed and fell backwards. It was a lingering, wonderful kiss. He touched my nose and the next thing I remember is laying on the bed with my blouse and bra not on my body. I was dumbfounded. I started to cover my breasts and my arms wouldnât do that. It was like my arms could do anything but cover my breasts.
You have to remember I was one man removed from being a virgin. I only had one date with Mike. I thought I liked him and I knew that I wanted to make love with him. But not so fast! I was very embarrassed. Mike leaned over me and gentle cupped my right breast and put his mouth on my nipple and began to noisily suck and kiss it. I felt the tingling feeling through my whole body.
Mike said: âDo you like that?â Part of me wanted to say yes and another part wanted to know what the heck was going on?
I answered, âYes.â
âI turned the heat up in the apartment so you would be warm. Do you feel warm?â Mike was standing looking at me when he said that. I began to feel very warm. I felt a sexual hunger that was almost like an itch in my vagina. I began to feel wet there. I felt like I wanted to scratch there. My hand seemed to have a mind of its own. I fought the impulse to rub my vagina. I had never done that to myself, even in private and I certainly didnât want to do it in front of Mike. I heard Mike say, âsleep.â My last thought was âOh no, not again.â Later I remember thinking that thought and not knowing why.