Chapter Six: A Woman Dismantled
I am a disease.
You see, I've always been a visual girl. Back when I was in the fullness of my power, I used to imagine myself darting through campus with a purpose. Untouchable, changing everything around me for the better, sending out ripples that wrinkled the surface of the sea.
Those times are long gone. Now, I despondently drag my feet through the halls, rooms, and grounds of this place. I no longer radiate positive and empowering changes, no. Instead, I am the carrier of a terrible pestilence -- so threatening and insidious that it is more a curse, than a mere disease.
Submission.
The word echoes over and over in my mind, as part of my programming. I turn it over in my head, looking at it from every angle, repeating it so often that it almost starts to lose meaning.
I associate it with images now, because unfortunately, I'm a visual girl. I see all the girls I've changed, their confident expressions softening, their determined postures becoming insecure and unassuming. I see the feminism inside them eroding, replaced with docile femininity, the craving for the guidance of a strong, male hand.
I see all these girls -- former rivals, former friends, former girlfriends, and above all former feminists -- beginning to gravitate around Kevin, like planets around a dark star. All at my doing.
I see them slowly start to converge, drawing closer and closer to Kevin, more and more attentive to his needs, responsive to his words. I see strength becoming weakness, each girl turned from a fighter to a pet. They march to him, heads bowed and eyes glassy, like they're being inexorably pulled by an invisible leash.
I see myself among them.
The lowest of the low, the one responsible for their downfall. Resisting Kevin's hold on me is one thing, but now, with all four girls in the harem lording it over me on a daily basis, every single waking moment... my very sense of self is buckling under the strain.
This extends far beyond the harem. Every girl I meet on campus is programmed to treat me with disdain and disrespect, to think of me as nothing more than an available slut. They execute this to perfection, because of course they would: I programmed them myself, and I've always been thorough.
This is terrible enough in isolation, but it gets worse, so much worse. All the damage I'm doing to girls is only half the picture, after all. The first part of my punishment, beautifully cruel, but incomplete.
And the second part, well, the second part...
How did I not see this coming? I have supplied Kevin myself with the information he needed to start disarticulating my self-esteem. Of course he would do this. Of course, changing the women here on campus would not be enough, would only be the start.
Now it's time to change the men, too.
Like I said. I am a disease. I walk dejectedly all day long, waiting for any opportunity to spend five minutes alone with a male student. Anyone will do, really, even people I've never spoken more than five words to in my entire time here.
Then, my eyes catch fire, and their strength yields to mine, and I begin to reshape them. I make them a bit more confident, a bit more dismissive of girls' issues and opinions, a bit more aggressive, more dominant. I manipulate their sexual preferences.
I instruct them to see me as a willing recipe for ogling, catcalling, and groping. To never take me seriously again.
This is going to turn campus into a nightmare, not just for me, but in general. Soon, submissive girls who crave male approval will start interacting with confident guys who demand female subordination. Like a chemical reaction, it will change the entire composition of the student body. The filthy ideas in Kevin's blog will manifest in the real world.
How long before this entire education facility is turned into a caricature of one of his blog posts?
Of course, not all guys get the same treatment. No, Kevin was very specific about some particular cases...
After all, the first part of my punishment didn't just include changing girls in general. No, I had to specifically undo all of the positive changes I ever brought about. Kevin wants to drive home the message -- it's his power now, not mine. He can and will undo all the work I've ever done, just like he's undoing my lesbianism. He can and will dismantle all I've ever accomplished, just like he's trying to dismantle me.
One after the other, I visit every guy whose attitudes I ever found problematic. Guys who made sexist comments in public or in private, guys who openly ogled girls, even guys who had a reputation for harassment. I go before them, and set my eyes afire, and remove every single change I've ever imposed on them.
Their old, mysoginistic selves are restored... and then some. I turn up their aggression, their willingness to dismiss and demean and objectify women, their sexual appetites and preferences.
And then...
Then comes the apology.
One after another, I drop to my knees before them all. With a fateful thud after another, I lose another piece of the girl I used to be. I'm Serena, the militant lesbian with mind control powers, and over the past week, I've sucked cock for so many different guys that I've officially lost count.
I'm not allowed to talk while I service them. That would ruin the point of the apology, Kevin believes: proper contrition is best shown through silence, and atonement should come in deeds, not words. Besides, what else would a misogynist recommend? Seen and not heard, of course.
And so I mutely submit to these men, who were once instruments of my will, and put my mouth to work in their service.
Some of them do ask me questions. Questions like, "so what's up with this?" or "is this gonna become a regular thing?" or even, "wait, aren't you a lesbian?".
Forbidden from answering, I redouble my efforts, closing my eyes, swirling my tongue around the cock I'm worshipping, distending every facial muscle as I devote every inch of my lips to the eliciting of male pleasure. Humiliatingly, they get used to my silence after a while, and simply sit back and enjoy the treatment... or take the reins, and facefuck me.
Through it all, my programming supplies all sorts of helpful commentary. Isn't this the most fitting way possible to silence a feminist? Literally shoving a cock down her throat, cutting off every silly pretension, every shrill argument about being a man's equal?
Is there anything more synonimous with power than a male hand, pressing down on a woman's head? Pushing her to her knees, limiting her potential, snuffing out her ambition, communicating that she is not to go where she wills, but stay down there and serve? Directing her to a purpose more suited to her skills?
And the worst part?
It makes me so. Fucking. Wet.