Meeting Lynn, while walking my dog through the dog park.
She stopped me in my tracks when she suddenly appeared from behind some shrubbery with her South African puppy, Seymour, a Rhodesian Ridgeback. He had spotted my dog, Polo, and ran out to play chase. My dog is the chase champion, only he likes to be chased and not chase other dogs. The fastest dog at the dog park, no dog can catch him. I should have named him Flash or Zip in the way that he can run, jump, leap, and zigzag away from any dog at will.
I watched her dog interact with mine. He was so young, so clumsy, and so funny in his play. His big paws too big for the size of him made him look as if he wore oversized shoes that caused him to trip and stumble. So terribly uncoordinated, he was as laughable as she was beautiful. Then, I looked at her, again, so young, so self-confident, and so self-assured. In a word, a true beauty, mesmerizing is how I'd describe her.
Who is this woman and where has she been all my life? The thought that I was so very much older than she was and that she hadn't been born yet, when I was searching for my one and only, filled me with sadness, guilt, and shame. Easily, I was twice her age. Suddenly, I felt lecherous and foolish. If I were her dad, I'd be warning her about guys like me, just as I had warned my daughters about older men being after only one thing. Yet, there I was lusting after this, oh, so young, beautiful woman. Without me realizing it, I had become one of those guys.
"He's too old for you, Honey," I imagined her father talking about me, when she brought me home to dinner to meet her parents, as if I was some young grad student. "Don't throw your life away over him. Find someone your own age. If you were to have children with this guy, he'll be old enough to be their grandfather when they are still in high school. Besides, he's only after one thing."
"Only after one thing..."
Of course, the dialogue that I imagined her father having with her over me is the same dialogue that I had with my own daughters. His thumbnail assessment of me would have been correct, only, love at first sight, I wanted more than sex from her. I wanted everything. I wanted the stars and the moon. Until death do us part, I wanted to love her forever.
Sex screamed through my mind. Yes, I want to fuck her. Yes, I want to do dirty, nasty things to her shapely body and to her beautiful mouth. Yes, I want her. All of this went through my mind in the first few seconds of meeting her. Never have I been as taken with a woman, have seen a woman so beautiful, and have wanted any woman as much.
When I looked at her, she made me feel so sensuously soft and fuzzy warm inside like the feeling I get from my first bite of rich, dark chocolate or from that first kiss after a romantic evening or when seeing someone as enchanting as was she. The thought of making love to her was a deliciously decadent thought that I enjoyed savoring for as long as I could because I knew that it would never happen. I knew that she would never be interested in a man like me, a man who was twice her age.
Normally, someone like her would make me feel old and foolish. Yet, the moment that I saw her, she made me forget my past and yearn for a future with her in it. If only I was rich, I'd make her mine by tempting her with my wealth and money. If only I was younger, I'd entice her with my good looks and hard body. If only I was powerful and influential, maybe, she'd want me then. If only she was mine for one night, I'd cherish the memory of her for when I'm older and no longer of a mind to entertain such sexual thoughts of a wild and crazy fantasy of having an intimate, sexual relationship with her.
With a complexion so fair and so healthy, she looked brand new. I bet she smelled new, too. I saw her in the way that I'd see my new, shiny car for the first time. She's a real beauty with great lines. Can I touch her? Can I take her for a spin? How fast will she go? What will she do in the corners? She has that new woman smell. I can't wait to take her for a long drive to the beach, to the mountains, and to go parking at some romantic spot overlooking the ocean.
With her dark hair so shiny and her hazel eyes so bright, the contrast of the two made her look catlike in appearance, dark brown hair almost black with green-blue eyes that tore through my skin, as if a laser to my heart. She moved with the sexuality of a woman who knows that she has a hot body, but that doesn't need to show it; she has no reason to prove anything to the world. She had class. With that, I knew she was modest and private, and I liked that about her. It's funny the things that I imagine, when reading into a person and finding out later how right or how wrong I was in my instant, thumbnail assessment of her.
We connected so immediately and so easily that I felt that I knew her already and that we were already friends. Much in the way of watching a favorite movie over and again, every time I looked at her, I noticed something else about her that I had missed before, something that made me want her even more. Her beauty stole my conscious thought and it was not until I walked beside her for some distance that I noticed that she was tall, 5'8" and had quite the figure beneath her loose fitting dress.
I had to pry my eyes and forcibly turn my head away, so that I wouldn't be caught staring at her beauty. I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable in my presence and for her to think me rude, lewd, or just another horny, old guy lusting over her outside appearance without taking the time to learn more about her and who she is inside. Instead, I decided to play it cool, so that she'd enjoy our time together, remain in my company longer, and hopefully, walk with me a bit more, at least, until we were standing at the end of the earth together.
My ulterior motives worked because she walked with me the entire time that I was at the dog park. I so wanted to endear myself to her, but I had so little time to do that. To me and my imagined hope, her time with me almost felt like a date and I imagined that we were a couple taking a stroll together, after having a sumptuous meal, before heading off to bed to have wild sex. That warm thought, and with her by my side, lifted my spirit made me feel young and vital, again, something I thought would never happen to me, after my divorce.
In this world of people, those who take little pride in their appearance, she was a shining star. Without doubt, being genetically perfect and looking like the woman that every man could lust over, love, and live with for the rest of their lives, she already had a head start. Still, so many women even don't put a brush through their hair or some gloss on their lips, when heading off to the dog park with their dogs. Embarrassed to say, some dogs look better than their female owners. Do they feel that because they're in a relationship that they no longer have to look appealing anymore? Do they feel that just because they're walking the trail in a dog park that no one will see them? Or do they just not care anymore and have given up on themselves?
There she was at the dog park wearing a smart dress that she could have worn to a restaurant. Her hair, clean and neatly tied back, displayed a feminine hairclip. With her hair pulled back like that, the effect highlighted her cheek bones that gave her an elegant look. She wore makeup, a rarity to see women wearing makeup at the dog park, the mall, or the supermarket these days. Everyone is so casual, too casual in appearance with blue jeans, wrinkled t-shirt or sweatshirt, and dirty, white sneakers being the uniform of the day. She was stunning. When compared to the other women at the dog park, she looked like a Goddess that had magically appeared on Earth just for me, I imagined, and just for me, so I hoped. That was the first time that I met Lynn.
Over the next few months, I saw her occasionally and, always, she looked as beautiful as she did the first time I met her. I tried planning my day accordingly, being at the park the same time that I saw her there last, hoping to catch her again and always, so as not to embarrass myself or have her think me a stalker, I tried to make our chance meetings appear accidental. When, after a time, I didn't accidentally on purpose see her, I started haunting the place and taking my dog there multiple times a day, until it was ridiculous with people asking me if I lived at the dog park. Besides my dog was getting too thin and muscular from all the exercise and I was getting too preoccupied with the thoughts of hoping to see her again.
In the back of my mind, I hoped that she believed in fate and would pick up on the serendipitous circumstance of my preplanned, coincidental encounters. In the back of my mind, I hoped she found me as appealing as I found her. I hoped that she was single and without a boyfriend. Of course, I was crazy to think that someone, who looked like her would be without a man. Moreover, I was deluding myself in thinking she'd be interested in someone as old as me. Without doubt, I was too old for her. Without doubt, she was too young for me. Oh, God, perish the thought and erase the image of her licking a pussy from my mind, but I hope she's not lesbian.
"I don't come here as often as I would like," she said when I finally saw her again, after a long absence. I was so happy to finally see her. Whenever I walked with her, instead of lumbering along, I had a spring to my step and a big, dumb smile on my face. "My dog loves the park and I love the exercise of walking within the beautiful scenery. I wish I could take him here every day but..." she paused to give me a sad smile with her face suddenly becoming troubled. "I don't always have the time to take him," she said in a softer voice that was suddenly distant. It was obvious that she was hiding something.
I come here too much in the hopes of seeing you again; I wanted to admit to her but did not dare. She made me want to get down on my knee and declare my love for her. Suddenly, I felt foolish, desperate, and pathetic. I don't even know her and to think that I have fallen in love with her was preposterous. Definitely, I need therapy. Love at first sight; who believes in that anymore? Yet, love is the only thing that could and can transgress age. Right? Maybe no, maybe yes, if only, I wished, oh, God...
She gave me a glimmer of hope every time she looked at me and smiled, as if I was her wicked older boyfriend. She smiled at me. She actually smiled at me. That's good right? Moreover, I made her laugh with my dry, sometimes blackly sardonic sense of humor. Over their head, most people don't get my humor, but she thinks that I'm funny. That's okay. I'll play the fool for her, if she'll stay with me a little longer and if she'll seek me out again to walk with me through the park.
