This story is XXX rated. Not only must you be older than 18-years-old to read my story but also, and this is tricky, you must be an immature adult.
Are you over 18-years-old?
Lean to the screen and nod your head in the affirmative or shake your head in the negative so that I can see if you are older than 18-years-old or if you're a minor and prohibited from reading my story. If you nodded your head in the affirmative, please stay. If you shook your head in the negative, please leave.
Now for the immature adult question. Are you an immature adult? I realize, of course, that not many mature adults read stories on Literotica but there is a reason for my question.
Knock once on your computer screen for yes that you're an immature adult and knock twice on your computer screen for no that you are a mature adult.
If you are an immature adult, please stay. If you are a mature adult, please leave.
Finally, for the immature adult test question. Ready? Okay, here goes.
If you happened upon a beautiful, sexy, drunken blonde with her clothes disheveled, with her tits and pussy exposed, and you were alone with her in a dark alley, what would you do? Would you have her blow you or would you call her a cab? Sorry but your answer can only be one or the other. You cannot have her blow you and then call her a cab after she swallows your cum.
Knock once on your computer screen for yes, that you'd have her blow you, and knock twice on your computer screen for no, that you'd call her a cab.
For those who knocked once on their computer screen, that you'd have her blow you, please stay. Without a doubt, you are an immature adult. I invite you to read my story.
For those of you who knocked twice on their computer screen to call her a cab, please leave. How dare you? What the Hell kind of degenerate are you? You're not wanted here. I cannot allow you to read my story. You're not depraved enough to read my story. How dare you pose as a pervert? You're an imposter,
"Go! Get out! Beat it! Scram! Hit the road! Get lost! Leave! Security!"
Now, for those of you who are still here. Good. You passed my immature adult test. You are indeed an immature adult, my kind of immature adult, a perverted, immature adult. Now leave your pants unzipped and let's read some porn.
Okay, now that we're alone with our bad selves, shall we begin?
### TallBlondeBustyBlueEyedBimbo ###
"Oh, my God, Tommy. Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck my cunt, Tommy. Fuck my cunt! That's it. Right there. Just like that. Oh, my God. Oh, my frigging God, I'm going to cum," said Irene, the wife of my friend's landlord.
As if I was in the room with them, I listened at my friend's front door.
"Don't stop fucking me! Fuck me harder, Tommy. Fuck me faster. I'm going to cum," said Irene. "I'm going to cum!"
Vito and everyone else in the neighborhood heard them fucking all the way outside and up the stairs to Tommy's fourth floor walkup apartment. Vito waited until they were done and the landlord left before he knocked on Tommy's door. Tommy had a backdoor stair that his landlord used so that her husband wouldn't know she was fucking their tenant. Had her husband been home, she would have needed more than just a backdoor stair for her sexual rendezvous to go undetected. She'd need for Tommy to have a soundproof apartment.
"I heard Mrs. Murphy all the way outside," said Vito with a laugh. "What was all that about?"
Tommy shrug.
"I'm a little short on my rent this month," said Tommy.
Vito reached in his pocket and pulled out some cash.
"You were short last month and the month before, if I remember," said Vito. "I have thirty bucks," said Vito. "How short on your rent are you?"
Tommy smiled at his best friend.
"All of it," said Tommy with a laugh.
Vito looked at his friend as if he was deranged.
"All of it? You can't pay your rent? What are you going to do, Tommy?"
Tommy gave Vito a shit eating grin.
"Don't worry, just as I did last month and the month before, I just gave Irene the fucking of her life. I'm covered until next month," he said.
Vito shook his head in disbelief.
"God you're such a dirty dog. Have you no morals? Have you no scruples? She's a married woman with kids," said Vito. "She's older than my mother. What is she forty-five?"
Tommy flopped himself on the living room couch.
"I dunno. She's about that age, maybe, a little older or a little older, I guess. I really don't know how old she is nor do I care. As long as they have tits to fondle, pussies to fuck, and mouths to suck, no matter if they're young old, beautiful or ugly, women are women to me. Besides, in the way that men always do, women don't freely volunteer their age or weight," said Tommy with a laugh.
### TallBlondeBustyBlueEyedBimbo ###
Tommy is my childhood friend. We met when he stepped in to fight a bigger and older kid who always picked on me. Back then, before he grew older and developed all sorts of physical ailments from drinking too much and fucking too much, he was as virile as he was Irish and as he was handsome. His whole family was good looking, his brother, Michael, his sister, Colleen, and even his mother Maureen was a MILF. His Dad, an abusive drunk was no longer in the picture but I saw photos of him and he was handsome too.
Just the opposite, I wasn't very good looking. I come from a whole family of not very good looking people. An unpopular kid, I was a second generation Italian-American. My name is Vito.
The only Italian family in an Irish neighborhood, if it wasn't for Tommy, I'd be beaten to death. My saving grace and my claim to fame was the Godfather movies made popular when I was a teenager. After Mario Puzo wrote the Godfather book and Francis Ford Coppola directed the Godfather movies, the kids in the neighborhood embraced me and called me Don Vito. Only, I was no Mafia Don. They called me Don Vito not out of respect but as a joke. I was their Irish joke and with the joke on me, I was their Italian joke.
If I was anything at all, I was short and fat. I was Ratso Rizzo, played by Dustin Hoffman and my friend, Tommy, was Joe Buck, played by John Voight in the Midnight Cowboy. God, that was such a good movie. God, that was such a long ago, 1969.
More than forty-five years ago, I was 19-years-old. Where did the time go? It seems like yesterday when I turned 30-years-old, 40-years-old, 50-years-old, and now that I'm over 60-years-old, my life is nearly over.
'Sad, so sad,' I thought while thinking what the Hell have I done with my life?
With him wearing his engineer boots and me wearing my pointy toed shoes with Cuban heels, we couldn't be more opposite. A time before Nike, Reebok, and Adidas, they didn't have sneakers in the way they do today. They didn't have a lot of things then that they do now. They didn't have computers, cellphones, video games, terrorism, terrorists, airport security, and fast food restaurants and Starbucks on every corner.
What they had were smoking and hard liquor commercials instead of prescription drug commercials. What they had in the sixties was Vietnam, free sex, and whores. They always had whores and until the world ends, there will always be whores.
Some whores look like whores and dress like whores while other whores pretend that they're modestly moral and happily married wives and not whores when they are. According to Tommy, all women are whores, even Nuns. Even Nuns love sucking and fucking priests' cocks. Fortunately for whores, whether obvious whores, hidden whores, single whores, or married whores, with whores just whores, Tommy was a whoremonger and man's gift to whores.
In the way he starred in the 1975 movie Shampoo with Julie Christie, Goldie Hawn, and Lee Grant, Tommy was the Warren Beatty of the neighborhood. Flitting from this woman to flirt with that woman, he was so handsome. He was so cool. He was Fonzi on steroids. With him leaving one woman to have sex with another woman, he was a chick magnet. Old, young, short, fat, tall, thin, ugly, and/or beautiful, they all wanted him and he was willing to fuck them, lick them, and allow them all to suck him.
He didn't have a job. He never held a job more than a week or two. Women gave him money to keep him around. Women paid his bills and gave him cash for him to be at their beck and call. Only, the more women he seduced and the more women he took money from the harder it was to keep their appointments straight and their sexual needs satisfied.
He enjoyed bragging that he could bang any chick and I believed him because he could and he did. With him three years older than me, by the time he was 22-years-old, he was already working on his second, little, black book. Me? Not so lucky. At 19-years-old, I was a virgin. The closest I came to having sex was feeling Maria's tits inside of her dress and bra after the senior prom.
To say that I lived vicariously through Tommy was an understatement. Admittedly, lustfully, and enthusiastically, I enjoyed him telling me all of the intimate details of his sexual exploits so that I could masturbate myself later that night. With me filled with testosterone, to say that I was always masturbating was a huge understatement. With me always trying to beat it, my masturbation record was five times in a day.
### TallBlondeBustyBlueEyedBimbo ###
It all started innocently one day when we were at the mall. There was this sexy, beautiful redhead. She was as shapely as she was tall. She looked like a model. She looked like a movie star. She looked like Lucille Ball in her heyday.
As soon as I saw how she filled out her skirt from behind, I bet Tommy ten bucks that he couldn't seduce her. I bet him that he couldn't get his hand in her panties and his cock in her mouth. Only, with Tommy my sexual hero, I knew he somehow could. Rooting for him to fuck her, I'd like nothing more than for him to tell me all of the sexy details later that day.
"Hey, Tommy. Look at that knockout over there," I said pointing to her. With her back to us, she didn't see me pointing. "I bet you ten bucks you can't get to first base with her."
He shot me his wanna bet look. With him having a reputation with the women to uphold, I knew he wouldn't say no to my wager. He accepted my bet and I watched him do his dirty work from a store doorway across the way. Being that he was across the mall, I couldn't hear what they were saying. He called me later that night to tell me he got lucky. Not surprised, I knew he would.
### TallBlondeBustyBlueEyedBimbo ###
"Hello?"
Typical Tommy, as soon as I picked up the phone, he started laughing.
"You owe me ten bucks, Vito," he said.
My cock twitched with the erotic anticipation that he'd be filling my head with the details of his sexual conquest soon. Just as Don Quixote was Dulcinea's unintended and unwanted hero in Cervantes book, Tommy was my Don Quixote and I was his Sancho Panza. He was my Batman and I was his sidekick, Robin. In awe of him, he was my Superman and I was Jimmy Olson.