This story goes back to when there were no mobiles and no internet or e-mail, so "Dating" personal adverts were largely confined to newspapers, with voicemail for a prerecorded message to be heard and responded to. Telephone kiosks abounded, too. In the UK they had closing doors and were made up of tiny, thick, near-vandal-proof panes of glass and had heavy, self-closing doors.
It isn't autobiographical apart from the neighbour-fixation, and the two glimpses of his neighbour when in his late teens are true events. Names and descriptions have been changed though.
All names are fictional (including, as far as I am aware, the town name) and all characters are over the age of 18.
Although I got a kick out of reading the ads, I never responded to any, so please excuse any inaccuracies.
This is simply a slow smouldering introduction β if you don't like that sort of thing, that's your prerogative, the next chapter will be hotter...
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She stubbed out her cigarette and looked through her latest draft for the advert, having already torn up eight previous versions.
It was hard to phrase it to attract responses without sounding too desperate or slutty. She wanted "no-strings adult fun" β she liked this euphemism for "sex" β but was afraid of attracting the wrong kind of respondent.
She copied out her final draft one last time, folded it and slid it into the envelope she had addressed and to which she had already stuck a postage stamp. Preferring anonymity she did not write out a cheque, but had purchased a postal order for the payment. She enclosed this in the envelope as well, sealed it, and put it into her handbag.
She didn't post it that day, though, nor the next, nor the one after that. She knew that in delaying she had missed the deadline for that week's publication date. Her indecision and the resulting delay annoyed her β she thought she had already overcome her doubts and apprehension.
It was such a sordid thing to do, though. Most of the advertisers in the "personal" column of the local newspaper were seeking romance. She wasn't. She had divorced her husband just over seven months earlier for cheating on her. She had come home early from work one day due to a severe migraine, and had caught her husband β on their bed β with a blonde leggy woman at least ten years his junior with her face between his thighs. The bed springs creaked rudely and mockingly as she bobbed up and down before suddenly pulling away to cover herself up in her shame and shock.
She was now getting over the divorce and starting to recover her self-esteem. She was a long way off recovering her ability to trust a man, though, and most certainly didn't want a relationship. But she missed sex. Not just the physical act, but the emotional release it gave, the assurance of being feminine, desirable, the physical intimacy of holding and being held, caressing and being caressed.
She still wore her wedding ring for much of the time, mainly to deter unwanted attention.
So she had plucked up the courage to try this possible solution. And, on the eighth day after writing out the advert she finally posted it. Even then, she had walked past three pillar boxes with the letter in her hand but had lacked the nerve to post it. When she finally did so, her stomach churned for a while. She had taken a step that, whilst not irreversible, was a pretty major one. Moreover, to her conscience, it was very much a downward step.
She went over the wording over and over in her head, and even though she had agonised over several drafts and even though it was too late to amend anyway, she thought of some better ways she could have worded it. But it was too late now.
She tried to imagine the kind of person who might get contact her. She hoped it would be someone pleasant, decent, and, within reason, their appearance was of little importance. Some pleasant daydreams came to her mind. So did some nightmare scenarios and characters. Excitement, fear and guilt dogged her.
She counted down the days to the publication date. Each day she felt more apprehensive, ashamed, and unsure of herself.
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Dave was visiting his parents for a long weekend. He had taken a few days off work to extend his stay. Since graduating from college he lived and worked about eighty miles away, but visited every couple of months or so.
That morning he skimmed through the local newspaper, and as he neared the advert section he discreetly raised the paper higher to hide from his parents the page he was browsing.
He had often looked through the "Personal/Meeting Place" ads, and on a couple of occasions had even rung the pre-recorded voice message (just to listen, not to leave a message), just for kicks. Two caught his eye today. One was from a "broadminded twenty-five year old, busty, seeking men, any age, looks unimportant, for fun times." He wondered whether the ad was really from a woman who was simply a nymphomaniac or whether it was a slightly sneaky advert from a prostitute.
The other that caught his eye sent a twinge of excitement through him. "Attractive, late 30s blonde, good SOH, med build, disillusioned, WLTM considerate male, 20-30 for no-strings adult fun. Discretion required & assured."
His stomach fluttered with naughty delight. He tried to imagine the woman who had placed the ad. He wondered whether her hair was long or short, straight, wavy or curly. He wondered whether she was tall or short, plump or even fat, plain, or attractive, busty or flattish-chested.