Jake arrives home from university for Christmas. Hopefully his gambling problems are being addressed. I have to wrestle with my conscience and libido over his friend Ben and our secret is a constant threat. The end of the year always brings challenges and temptations. And my neighbour Debbie is an ever present figure in my life.
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I cried out the loudest, "Oh Fuck!" and let go of the vibrator so that I could carry on massaging my clit with my fingers. It was a last opportunity to masturbate with abandon before Jake arrived home from uni. A last night with the house to myself.
I lay there in the semi darkness slowly catching my breath, and finally pulling the duvet up over me. I knew I'd have to go to the bathroom before I slept, but it gave me a few minutes to ponder everything that had happened since he'd left home in October.
I'd certainly changed out of all recognition. If I analysed my behaviour dispassionately, I'd become promiscuous at the very least, if I was being hard on myself the last eighteen months had definitely turned me into a bit of a slut.
Debbie didn't actually use that word when I discussed it with her, but she wasn't much better herself and had encouraged me every step of the way. I 'loved' her in a sort of way, she'd boosted my self confidence, and had become both a lover and a mentor.
However there were several things 'hanging over me,' in the lead up to Christmas.
Apart from the perennial problem of where I and Jake would spend Christmas, there was Ben arriving back home to his parents' house and how his attitude would be towards me. I didn't want to spend all my time and energy avoiding his advances.
There was also a mountain of work to catch up on and to compound everything I caught the flu.
I spent the first forty eight hours of it in hibernation and on paracetamol. Debbie appeared with Covid face mask, which would have made me laugh in normal circumstances, however she brought essentials and disappeared very rapidly.
I did manage to do a couple of hours work towards the end of the second day in bed, and on the third morning I managed to take a shower.
Back in bed I felt exhausted, but a little better and even chuckled to myself when I realised I'd showered without masturbating, was this the downturn in my libido? When I reached for my vibrator that same evening I knew I was back needing a release.
"Are you safe?" Debbie found me in the kitchen next day and still had her mask on.
"I think so, but I must look a sight! Are you gonna keep that mask on?"
"I will today if you don't mind, but you do sound a lot better."
Debbie made herself a coffee and stayed on the other side of the breakfast bar.
"I feel much better, I've got to snap out of it, there's so much to do before Christmas and Jake gets back at the weekend."
"What are you doing for Christmas?"
I'd decided that I'd spend Christmas Day with Jake, a quiet day of celebration in front of the tv, maybe a few card games and lots of food and drink. I was waiting to speak to him about the rest of the time he'd be at home.
"You can come to us on Boxing day if you'd like, we always have a few people round for drinks at lunchtime?"
It seemed a good idea, and I had no other plans.
"Do you want me to bring anything? Can I make some canapés or something?"
"No just bring yourself, you'll be able to get drunk and not have far to go home!"
I could see that she was anxious to get away from any lurking germs so I told her to go. However she couldn't resist running her fingers down my spine as she passed me on the way out.
"You sod," I said with a stuffy nosed whisper, and felt the tremor of desire wash over me.
Even behind the mask I could see her smile, and her eyes above briefly sent daggers of hunger towards me.
"We must find time soon," were her parting words.
I sat there and I was hot all over. It wasn't the flu, it was Debbie. Suddenly I found myself thrusting my hand under my bathrobe and t-shirt and feeling a very moist pussy. I rushed back upstairs and threw myself onto my disheveled bed and reached into the bedside drawer.
Lying back I imagined Debbie had stayed with me. My finger tips slid into the heat of my pussy and were soon smoothing over my clit, back and forth, round and round until I was picking up the vibrator.
I began to push and pull it into and out of me slowly, listening to the quiet swish of entry and exit, angling it upwards to send its rapid pulses directly to my clit. I was conscious of my intermittent moans and was enjoying the pleasure of feeling well again.
I began to slow my stimulation, almost teasing myself, letting the pleasure creep up on me. But I'd no particular self control and I just let it come, or should I say I let myself cum!
Arching my back, my legs bent with my heels digging into the mattress, I shuddered with pleasure, my hips bouncing upwards and my lower body throbbing in joy.
I relaxed back into the sheets, tossing the vibrator aside, my eyes closed and hearing myself give out a final, "Mmmmmmmm."
"Wow!" I whispered quietly and looked around the room as reality returned and a whole list of chores came into my mind. I had to get on!
When Jake arrived home there was a huge emotional response. He said he'd been okay since my visit with Jon and apparently Jon had been messaging him daily. Once the tears were dried we became almost normal again, if the run up to Christmas could ever be normal.
He went out on several evenings catching up with school friends and coming home clearly inebriated. I didn't mind, but was brought up short when he mentioned that Ben was coming round that day with Will. It was what I was dreading and I decided that I'd go out to do some shopping.
When I returned late in the afternoon they'd all disappeared so with a sigh of relief I got on with my jobs.
"Ben asked after you," Jake said casually. I hoped that he hadn't seen the slight reaction I felt at the sound of his name.
"Did he? How's he getting on at uni?" I asked with a disinterested voice.
"Okay, he's actually changed course, he's changed to accountancy."
My knees sagged a bit, and my mind was panicking, imagining all sorts of excuses he might use to talk to me about it.
"Has he? He must be mad!"
"He said you'd say that, he'd like to chat with you about it."
I was choking back my response.
"I'll have a word with him when he drops by next time," I felt dread as I was saying it.
The conversation ended there, but I knew I'd have to face the fear and hopefully I could manipulate the situation so that we weren't alone together, at least not for too long.
It was a couple of days later before it actually happened.
"Ben's dropping by later on," Jake warned me at breakfast. "We're meeting some mates at lunchtime at the 'The Crown' up the road. I expect he'll want to ask you about accountancy."
