Well, if you are unhappy the way the voting went this year you can blame me. It's all my fault, every bit of it. In spite of the fact that I studied every candidate and issue up for vote this year and ignoring the inflammatory TV ads, I researched the people in great detail. I had written all the pertinent details in a notepad and carried the notepad with me as I headed out for the polls.
Voting in Texas has become fairly easy, with their early voting system. In the weeks leading up to an election, voters can visit some of the early polling places and vote, with virtually no lines. Since I had already worked out who and what I planned to vote for, I got up early on the first day of early voting, hoping to avoid any lines. Actually it was so early on a Saturday morning that there was no traffic, so I got there in record time and smile broadly when I noticed only three cars in the parking lot. Allowing for a couple of people working the sign in and voting machines, there may have been may one other voter there.
I hopped out of my car and checked my shirt pocket confirming I had my voter registration card and my notepad with all my voting information on it. Stepping into the building, I waited while the lady took my voter registration card, did a bit of clicking in her computer and the printed out a small piece of paper. She handed me the paper and explained, "This is your code number for any of the machines on this side of the room," she pointed back to the room behind her and then motioned to the right. "Just enter your number and click the button when you are done and the ballot will come up. If you need any help, please let us know."
"Thank you," I said, strolling casually toward the back room. Both of the bored workers picked up paperback books and began to read. I stepped in to the back room and noticed a very young lady at one of the machines. Easing past her, I moved over to another machine and spun the dial, copying the code from my piece of paper. When I finished, I glanced to my right and started... the young lady was standing beside me.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," she said, tossing her long brown hair over her shoulder. At that point I couldn't help but glance down at her ample cleavage, thinking, "They sure grow them healthier these days."
"It's okay, I'm just trying to vote here," I replied, trying to fight off the lecherous thoughts running through my mind.
"Well, that's the thing, my dad is running for one of the offices and... well, I'll let you eat my pussy if you vote for him."
I just stared at her, trying to fully understand what she said to me... surely she did not just say, "...I'll let you eat my pussy if you vote for him." She had to have said something else.
"I mean it, you vote for my dad and I'll let you eat my pussy," she said as one hand reached down and pulled her skirt up a bit on her thigh.
"I... ah, no, I don't think so, I mean you are way too young."
"I'm eighteen, hell I just finished voting for my dad."
"No way you're eighteen and I don't want to get arrested," I replied nervously.
"Look, if I show you my voter's registration card will you believe me?"
"Show me the voter registration card and a photo ID and I might believe you."
Reaching a hand into a pocket on her blouse, she pulled out the voter registration and handed to me. I read it over while she walked over to another booth and grabbed her purse. She carried her purse over and set it in the booth adjacent to mine, pulling out her driver's license and showing it to me.
"You turned eighteen last Thursday, you are eighteen and..."
"Eighteen and two days," she replied.
"And I'm old enough to be your father."