Authors Note #1 This one could have fit in either LW or Mature, but I chose mature—mostly because that's how I pictured the characters.
Authors Note # 2 All constructive criticism welcomed and even encouraged. I had a king sized case of writers block for months. After a lot of false starts, with a disc half full of partially finished stories, I decided to finish this one come "Hell or High Water." Anyway, it is what it is—please read, score and comment constructively. If you say "It Sucks," at least tell my why.
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The four women chose a table near the door of Bistro 17, making a great show of settling down in just the right seats after shifting the table enough to enable everyone watch the door. Being able to see who entered was very important because the main entertainment for the 'Tuesday Night Ladies,' or TNLs as they referred to themselves was checking out and critiquing the outfits of every lady who entered. Of course on slow nights, when not many women were eating out, they filled in the gaps with general gossip.
The seats were not ideal tonight for, as the manger had warned them, the owner had a group of his friends playing poker in a little L shaped nook right behind them. He assured them they wouldn't see the men, but would probably hear them because, as he said, "You know how noisy a bunch of guys get when they start drinking." Luckily the boys were on their best behavior and the girls hardly knew they were there.
Leah Ann, the Grand Dame, if such existed in their little backwater town, always occupied the best position and since she was paying tonight, she got to choose the wine and the meals. Even if she wasn't paying no one would have objected for they had been together so long Leah Ann almost always knew what they would have chosen.
This was one of those slow nights, and truth be told, things were getting more than a little boring when "HE" walked through the door. Leah Ann, even at the ripe old age of sixty, couldn't tear her eyes away from this perfect specimen of the human male, and Rebecca—Rebecca actually dropped her fork halfway to her mouth, scattering her green peas to 'Hell and Back.'
There wasn't a female eye in the place that wasn't glued to the man as he strolled over to the bar, ordered a Bud Lite and spun his chair around so he was facing the TNLs.
"Wow!" remarked Rebecca, giving her long auburn hair a flip. "He can eat crackers in my bed any time he feels like it."
"Eat crackers nothing." Dear old Judy, who always had to 'one up' everyone, chimed in with, "He gets in my bed I'm gonna have him eating me."
This was followed by a three way discussion about how sex wasn't like it used to be with their husbands and how they'd like to have the thrill of a young lover again. This continued until the staff had cleared away the dishes and brought a fresh bottle in lieu of dessert. That's when Gale noticed Leah Ann hadn't joined in the conversation and asked her why she was so quiet.
Leah Ann sighed, took one sip then another before setting her glass back down. One by one she looked each of her friends in the face. "I know you're fooling—just running your mouths off, that you'd never do anything about it—except maybe you, Rebecca. Take it from an old woman who knows, never, never, ever cheat on your husbands. DOWN THAT ROAD BE MONSTERS!"
Leah Ann had her friend's full attention.
"Darn, girl, you sound like you know something we don't."
"Got that right," Leah Ann muttered.
"Well spill it. You can't stop now." Rebecca called for more wine before continuing. "We got lots of wine, it's warm and comfortable in here, and if we tried to go home we'd get soaked to the skin going to our cars, so enlighten us."
Amid a chorus of agreement, Leah Ann took another look outside where the rain was pouring down. Holding her glass for Becca to refill, she said, "Why the hell not—nothing better to do and it was a day like this when the whole thing started."
Taking another sip of wine Leah Ann began:
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LEAH ANN'S STORY
Ever have one of those when nothing seems to go right? Well that's how it all started for me. I had driven into town to attend our monthly 'Wednesday Little Book Club' meeting and do a bit of shopping. As you all know, we live about ten miles out in the country, and I was about half way home when my two month old Cadillac gave up the ghost
"Leah Ann," I said to myself, after the car refused to restart, and I realized I had no bars on my cell phone. "This just ain't your day." I looked around, wondering what to do next. I knew my husband Jack, was at the White Pines church campground chaperoning the RA boys, including our son, Jack Jr. so, even if I could reach his cell, there was no way he'd be able to help.
Nope! I was on my own for few days. Time to pull up my 'big girl panties' and prove I wasn't just a helpless female. Just one problem though—I felt like I was just a helpless female.
I looked around, considering my predicament and wondering what my next move should be. That's when I spotted the mailbox beside a very rough road leading back through a head of trees. The box and post looked recently installed and suddenly it registered on me that this must be the place everybody was talking about—the place where the stranger from Charleston was building a 'Mansion.' I use the word mansion because that's what the girls at our book club meeting called it.
The size of the house wasn't the only thing they'd gone gaga over. Those who had met him agreed he was movie star handsome—sort of a cross between Brad Pitt and Richard Gere, but built like a NFL running back.
Frances, the biggest slut of the crowd, and our chairman, had finished the description of the latest addition to our area's list of eligible bachelors by stating, "He claims to be forty five, he looks ten years younger. The way the front of his pants bulges out he's either hiding a sweet potato down there or he's the answer to every woman's dreams. Honest, girls—I bet that darn thing would brush the tonsils of a petite little thing like Kitty there."
I'd loved Kitty's red faced retort, "If anyone would know about touching tonsils, it would be you."
Everybody had giggled at Francis' obvious discomfort at having her proclivity for collecting cocks spoken about so openly, but she wasn't to be outdone. "Got that right, Honey. I've seen some monsters that would split a little thing like you wide open—but Lordy—you'd go out with a smile on your face."
At that point the chairwoman banged the gavel and got us back to discussing the book of the month, "Lady Chatterley's Lover." I have to admit—the part where the heroine, Lady Chatterley, first got it on with the gamekeeper had turned me on something fierce. I was daydreaming about myself as Lady Chatterley succumbing to some handsome, rugged male and darn near missed it when Francis asked me to end the meeting with a prayer.
Now, after being greeted by darkening storm clouds and making a mad rush to the Piggy Wiggly, I had everything on my shopping list—only trouble was I was stranded on the side of the road about a mile from home.
"Damn! Damn! Damn!" I know a lady isn't supposed to curse, but...
A loud clap of thunder, followed by a streak of lightning flashing across the western sky, focused my attention back on my immediate problem. "Oh Crap! Not rain too!" I was sitting there, helplessly beating my fist on the steering wheel and mentally cursing Jack for insisting we trade my dependable old van for this piece of crap.
I could still hear his argument. "A Van just doesn't present the right image for the future chairman of county council." Ever since the fellows in his lodge had got the ball rolling on his run for council he had developed delusions of grandeur. So long story short, he got his way—as usual—and I was sitting beside the road in a disabled luxury car that would do everything a car should do—except take you from point A to point B. To add insult to injury, if I tried to walk back home I'd get soaked.
What was I going to do?
I was sitting there just cursing Jack, General Motors and Cadillac, and still no closer to an answer to my problem, when a sharp tapping on my driver's side window jarred me back to reality.
I looked up and almost lost my breath; I was staring into the prettiest pair of deep blue eyes I'd ever seen—and the face they belonged to wasn't bad either. Personally I thought he looked more like Richard Gere's but I wouldn't argue with the girls who said he looked Brad Pitt. This angel, and that had to be what he was—no mere man could possibly be that handsome—was motioning for me to roll down my window.
"Troubles?" he asked.
"Nope, just sitting here, waiting my turn in God's carwash." I motioned to the black clouds rolling in.
"Ha Ha! Well, if you can't drive this fine example of workmanship, maybe we better hightail it back to my place before that gully washer hits. We'll call for help from there."