"Mom? Can I go back for some more?"
She glanced at her boyfriend's face and saw the look of disapproval, yet another sign this relationship was a huge mistake, before saying, "Sure. Go ahead, buddy."
The heavyset 11-year old pushed back from the table then headed for the buffet to fill a second plate as the man his mom was dating watched him walk, shaking his head the entire time.
"If you have something to say, say it," she said as the resentment welled up in her.
"Come on. At some point you gotta tell the kid 'no'. I mean, look at him. He's...he's fat, and you're enabling him. You get that, right?" he said as he turned back to look at her.
"And you get that he lost his father, right?" she replied doing the best she could not to let her growing anger show.
The man across from her shook his head then in a very patronizing tone of voice said, "That's been two years, for cryin' out loud. How long are you gonna let him wallow around in self-pity?"
Jordyn Knight was 40 years old, and had only recently started dating after losing her husband, Josh, a retired Air Force master sergeant, to cancer two and a half years ago. Her 11-year old son, Dax, had been with him and his mother in the hospice room when his father took his last breath. Dax and his dad had been inseparable, and when he died, Dax fell into a quasi-depression.
A psychiatrist at Malmstrom Air Force Base in Great Falls, Montana, told her Dax wasn't clinically depressed but rather withdrawn. She was also concerned about how he'd turned to food for comfort, but as much as it bothered her, food was the only thing that seemed to give her son any relief. So yes, she did need to draw a line, but when and where to draw it were her decisions to make; not the man's that she'd been dating for the last two months.
She'd had her reservations about him from the start, but she kept hoping he'd change and then grow on her. He was an attractive man of 45 with a good job, and with the exception of the way he seemed to feel about her son, he seemed like a reasonably decent guy. But the more time she spent around him the more obvious it was becoming that he not only didn't love Dax, he was embarrassed by him, and this was the proverbial last straw.
"It's been two and a half years, but if you had the slightest amount of empathy inside you, you'd know it often takes much longer for a child to get over the loss of a parent. Especially when that parent was the child's whole world."
He could tell she was getting upset so he switched from patronizing to pedantic.
"Okay. You're right. You know more than I do, so I'll just be quiet. How's that?" he said with a fake smile glued to his face.
Jordyn shook her head then before Dax headed back to the table said, "You know what? You're right. I think it is time I put my foot down."
She stood up, grabbed her purse, and as Dax walked up to the table said, "Honey? I'm sorry but we're going to have to leave."
"Ahh. Right now?" he asked, his plate heaped with sausage links, bacon, and biscuits slathered in butter.
"I'm afraid so, buddy. I'm...putting my foot down and getting rid of some excess baggage."
She glared at her soon-to-be ex-boyfriend then gently took the plate from her son's hand.
"Come on. We'll stop somewhere along the way home."
"But what about..."
Before he could say the man's name, his mom said, "That's why I insisted we drive up here separately in our car."
She loved Glacier National Park, a 1,583 square-mile wilderness area in Montana's Rocky Mountains that bordered Canada on its north side. She hadn't been there since Josh was alive, and when her boyfriend—well, ex-boyfriend—suggested spending a weekend, she'd agreed as long as they had separate rooms and separate transportation.
That she felt the need to drive her own car should have been reason enough to say 'no', but she truly loved the park, and as much as she hated admitting it, she was often lonely to the point of sadness. She hated that she allowed that loneliness to affect her judgment, but it had, and now all she could do was vow not to let it happen again and be more selective in the men she dated.
It wasn't like she was unattractive. Like her late husband, she'd been an avid runner, swimmer, and bicycler, and still made time for those things as often as she could. She was not only in very good condition, she was also very pretty.
The problem, inasmuch as it was a problem, was choosing to stay in Great Falls after Josh passed away. They'd been there for ten years by then, and it was where Dax had been born and raised, and she just couldn't take him away from the few friends he'd still had or the only school system he'd ever attended.
Dax was and always would be her first priority, and she walked away from this first relationship fully committed to never again getting involved with someone who didn't want her and her son whether the relationship was short or long-term.
"But I'm still hungry," Dax told her.
She put her arm around him and said, "I know, honey," and left it at that.
August was such a beautiful time of year in northern Montana, and Jordyn was trying not to think about the long, cold winter ahead that would arrive in a few short weeks and hang on for far too many months. For now, she reveled in the warm sunshine and the beautiful scenery around her once they'd packed their bags and left Glacier Lodge.
As they put their bags in the car, Jordyn remembered the 'check engine' light that had come on during the drive up there. Josh had bought the car new when Dax was just three years old, and now it was eight years old and had just over a hundred thousand miles on it, and she knew it was due—no, over-due—for an oil change, and God only knew what other maintenance.
It started right up so she stopped worrying and promised herself she'd take it in as soon as she got home. Money was always tight, but not so much so that she couldn't afford to take care of the car. She just hated doing that kind of thing, and Josh, who'd loved doing it, had always made sure the maintenance got done on the car and the house.
He'd elected to take 'SBP' or the Survivor's Benefit Plan when he retired, and because he had, she received 55% of his military pension every month. They'd both agreed to reduce the amount of life insurance he had on himself on active duty from the standard $400,000 offered through the military's SGLI or Serviceman's Group Life Insurance, and opted for a $50,000 term policy thinking they'd never need it.
But just a few months after he retired from the Air Force, Josh started having night sweats along with a fever that often spiked to 104 degrees. Less than six months later, he passed away from the cancer that had spread from his liver to the rest of his body, and although money had been the last thing on her mind, she was later very aware that $50,000 was nowhere near $400,000.
She lived frugally and worked as a teacher's aide when Dax was in school, but that brought it in less than $15,000 a year. Together with what she received from Josh's retirement, they got by, but there wasn't a lot left over for frills. Buying a new car, or in her case, a used car that would be new to her, was something she didn't even want to think about.
The trip back to Great Falls was 155 miles and took about two and a half hours under normal conditions. But August was primetime for tourists coming to the park, so traffic was much heavier than normal.
They'd gone about an hour when the 'check engine' light came back on.
"Dammit!" Jordyn said quietly, hoping Dax hadn't heard her.
He was playing with his iPad, and normally wasn't aware of anything else. But not this time.
"What's wrong, Mom?" he asked as he looked over at her.
"Oh. Sorry, honey. The light just came on again."
"The check-engine light?" he asked, remembering what she'd told him on the way there.
"That's the one," she said as cheerfully as she could.
In spite of the heavy traffic, she was still averaging about 65mph on Interstate-15, and kept her fingers crossed when the passed by the little town of Conrad. There were several more similar small towns on the way to Great Falls, and if something went wrong, she hoped to at least be able to pull into one of them and call for help or possibly find a place to take a look at the problem.
Then again, it was Saturday and a little past ten in the morning, so she wasn't sure what she'd find open if she could get off the interstate or whether they could fix it and get her back on the road without having to get a room until Monday. Even then, if it was serious and they had to order parts she knew she could be there for several days, adding to the total expense.
Just before getting to Brady, the next 'hamlet' on the way home, the car started shaking.
"What's going on?" Dax asked as though his mom would know.
She could tell it was getting worse so she moved into the right lane and slowed to 55. For a few seconds that seemed to helped before the same problem came back even at the lower speed. It got increasingly worse, and Jordyn realized it was time to pull over.
