To My Patricia

I lived with this older woman. She was in fact a very very close family friend, and was almost like a second mom to me. She was not my mother!

However, she was 38 years odd older than me.

I have always been attracted to mature women but some women are more mature than other. In this case, she was not only mature, she was very much older.

She was married too. Yes, I lived with them both. But, although I am bi, I really only found myself attracted to men some of the time and most often found mature women much more attractive.

It didn't occur to me to be attracted to her when I was younger and living at home, probably because of the super close connection to family. Like I said, she was not my mother, but was very much like a second mom to me - still, not my mother.

I went to move in with Patricia and her husband to be closer to my work.

Now that I was working and older, I strangely began to see Pat in a different light. She actually became somewhat attractive to me. I didnt think that would be possible, on the cards nor did I ever consider the idea as a fantasy. It simply was not on my radar - at all!

However, I have to qualify this by saying for me, I always did like older women. The more risk, the more risque. A crush on a teacher (several of them in fact), or a neighbor, a friends mom (several of those too) was all normal for me growing up. Someone being married was huge attraction to me.

But, for Patricia, it was more about her and not just her marriage though.

Some background on Pat. She had suffered form cancer some 30 years before, and as a result, she lost her left breast.

She was tall, and very slim. (Very very slim).

She wasnt super attractive to look at. After all, she was in her 60's, and tbh, to me, older looking women are attractive, but not in the way we normally see younger women with smooth skin and firm breasts. For me, I really liked older women, with wrinkly skin and saggy breasts. The saggier the better!. However, that wasnt what attracted me to her.

I was 20, and she was 59 but she actually looked a little older than that to me - which I actually grew to like. I had been living with them for one and a half years.

I never once thought about actually doing anything with her (making a pass at her etc...), but I definitely grew to begin fantasizing about her from time to time.

Nothing too major. I would just what it would be like to hug Patricia, maybe slow dance with her, and what she would feel like if I brushed past her brushing up against her breast.

A few times while they were out of the house, I did go into her drawers and gently felt her bras and panties.

They were smooth and silky.

I would get very aroused when rubbing my hand on her bras and panties.

A few times, later on, I would find myself in the laundry and had the occasion to touch her soiled panties and bras in to be washed.

I did sniff her vagina stained panties (the little beige waxy vaginal stain), but mostly they were dry and had no smell to them. I was hoping to smell her juices but did smell anything from the clothes to be washed.

Anyway, one day about 18 months after moving in with them (where this story picks up), she had her friend Val over. Val was her best friend.

It was weird because I had just come home this one day, and Pat said to me to show Val my calf muscle. I thought this really odd because this was completely out of the ordinary for Pat to ask of me.

I was wearing shorts and had no idea how to show her my calf but to lift my leg and put my foot onto the dining room chair.

Both Val and Pat stepped forward and they both took a handful of my calf muscle. Sure I was fit, and healthy, but I was no Arnold. Anyway, I kind of felt like I was some specimen being examined at the doctors office.

They were both talking about my body as if I were not even there.

I was clearly the main topic of their conversation that afternoon while I was at work.

After they felt my lower leg and portions of my thigh (weird, but way way way amazing end to my day), I left them to their conversations. But, boy was I thinking about that.

What if..., and if only..., could I have done something that may have changed our lives - I doubt that, but, the more I thought about it, I began to crave the touch of their hands on my leg again.

I actually wondered to myself what if I went out there again, while they are still talking and said have another squeeze, but what if this time I showed my true aroused feelings.

My stomach jumped, and my heart began to pound. My throat got dry and my crotch went real tingly and then it happened, I had an erection, and this one was really really hard; you know, where the head of the penis swells more than usual and almost begins to hurt. I knew right there and then I actually wanted Pat. I even thought of Val too, but I couldnt imagine them both being into me at the same time. It was a real stretch to imagine either of them. But, they had both actually felt my leg and took their time about it. Okay, there was nothing sexual about it at all - but I did wonder what else was going through their heads. Had they spoken to each other about it before, or were either of them having secret thoughts about me?

All I knew was that my penis was throbbing and the head of my penis was super red and swollen.

I ended up giving myself a hand-job and shot my cum into a clean shirt. I had to do something.

Val left about an hour later. Pat's husband was still out at work, and Pat was beginning to get dinner ready (she loved to cook). Anyway, I went into the kitchen and said I would give her a hand or at least keep her company until her husband got home, which I expected to be soon. Pat said that wouldnt be necessary if I had other things to do.

I said, "no, that I would like to help out today, plus, (and I began straight into the question), what was that all about this afternoon, feeling my calf and thigh?

Pat said that they were talking about bodies and what looked good in a man and what looked good in a woman. And Pat said that she told Val I had a really good body based on their afternoon's discussion.

I said to Pat that I am very grateful that they thought about me that way, and that believe it or not, it was quite the thrill to have a couple of women fondle me even if it was more of just a squeeze and medical style feel.

Pat said to me that it couldnt have been that great having a couple of old women poke and prod your leg.

I said, "Actually Pat, for me, it was really a nice experience."

Anyway, the conversation finished around there because her husband came home. As he was coming into the house, I did say that I would keep it a secret.

Before she could say anything, with her mouth opening no doubt to rebut my obvious silly remark, her husband came into the kitchen right then, and she said noting. I think to save herself from having to explain everything to her husband not that it was anything worthy of a second thought.

Except now, I was hoping Pat was thinking of more than just the calf muscle. Though I doubt it, but I was trying to be subtle, and hopeful.

About a week later, Pat was home when I got home. Val had just left and her husband was still out at work. I took the opportunity to sit with her and have a coffee on the couch. I said to her that i wanted to thank her so much for letting me stay and live with them as one of the family. They truly treated me as their own.

Pat said it was her pleasure to have me in the house, and that i was welcome to remain in the home as long as I wanted to.

I decided to take the opportunity to try and make Pat blush.

I said, "So Pat, I smell perfume in the house. Val was here. I think I came home a little too late today, and missed out on my weekly squeeze by a couple of amazing ladies.

Pat actually began to blush a little and I said, "If you want, you can have a quick squeeze now. I wont tell Val." and she laughed.

I placed my leg in front of her, and Pat said jokingly, sure, I'll take a quick feel, and wont tell Val."

I didnt think she would or that she might slap my leg in a joking way, but she didnt.

I actually began to get aroused.

Pat lent forward and actually used both hands to feel my calf muscle again. I tensed it and she said "oh, that does feel hard and strong."

She wasnt doing me any favors. My crotch was beginning to react.

She then began to rub her hands up and down my calf, just feeling it. Nothing in it really, just her innocently doing what she did the week earlier, but this time is was just her, and...me.

I said to Pat, "have you felt anything like that in the past?"

Pat said "no." then she said "It feels so muscly and strong."

She looked at me when she said that, while she was still holding my calf.

Then I quickly said to her, "Pat, you can feel my legs any time you want. Seriously, anytime."

Pat said thanks, and she would likely take me up on my offer sometime.

I said, "good."

We finished our coffee and then went about doing other stuff.

Me, I went to the laundry - you can guess what I was doing.

About two weeks later, I came home and both Val and Pat were there again, chatting as they both did. Pat called me into the living room and said to me that they were holding a repeat conversation from a few weeks back and needed a second opinion, and they needed my leg again.

I said okay and went over to them but I was wearing long pants. I was told that maybe I should put on some shorts, so I went and put on some old shorts,

then went back to them where they were sitting on the couch next to each other.

I stood in front of them but facing away - I didnt want anything embarrassing to happen or at least get seen.

They both took a leg each and both were feeling my legs. My calfs and thighs.

Up and down - I was actually thinking about math to stop the urge to have an erection.

This went on for about three or four minutes. Seriously, I was doing long division in my head.

They both said thanks and asked me to make a coffee for them.

I did. I took it to them and asked them if they needed me for anything else.

They didnt. Huge bummer, but still, I had the feeling of them rubbing their hand up and down my legs - amazing!

It took Val another hour to leave, and man I just wanted to jump them both at the same time - I cant imagine how bad that would have turned out if I made a pass at them.

Anyway, after Val left, Pat asked me to make another coffee, and asked me to have one with her. So I made her a coffee and we sat and drank the coffee together.

We chatted about nothing and then at the end of the coffee, I said to Pat, "I hope you didnt tell Val about our secret feel last week."

Pat said, "of course not, that's just our secret."

I said, "really, our secret."

She said, "Yes, just us."

Wow. That's what I wanted to say.

But I couldnt or I might give away my secret feelings for her. She was married and not to me. Plus she was 38 plus years older than me and very much like a second mom to me. Not my mother, just a super close friend of the family who was a defacto mother.

I have to super crazy to be thinking like this.

I said, if you can feel my leg, what do yours feel like?

She said take a feel if you want. (Pat was wearing shorts that were mid thigh and skin tight).

I said what if your husband came home.

Pat said he wouldnt be home for a half hour or so.

So, I said to Pat, lets make this very clinical like I was for you. So I asked her to stand in front of me.

She faced away from me just as I did when she and Val were feeling my leg earlier in the afternoon.

I began just as she and Val did on her calf, I felt it gently and just as they had, I too was using both my hands, and felt her entire leg from lower calf to mid thigh where her shorts were.

Pat asked if I was done, and I said no, I had to compare it to the other leg.

I thought Pat would say no, but, she said, "Go ahead." and she laughed at my comment.

So I spent the same amount of time about two minutes on the left leg now.

I was so hard.

After I was done, she sat down next to me again and I said, "Our secret, right."

Pat smiled at me and said, "yep, just you and me."

This was harmless fun, nothing more! But inside, I was turning inside out.

Still, I got so hard, and all I could think about was her amazing thin legs and her single breast.

Remember, she had lost one to cancer years before.

It always was so obvious in the mornings because she would wear a nighty and no bra and her one super saggy D cup breast would swing side to side and her other side the nighty sat flat to her chest. This became a huge turn on for me.

Something else to know. She and her husband had not slept in the same bed since she had cancer all those years ago. And I always wondered if they hadnt had sex for that amount of time too.

All I could think of was what I could offer her.

That night ended like any other.

I decided to not do anything and wait and see if anything could ever happen. I didnt want to ruin their marriage as they were long time family friends. So if in my craziest dreams it could only be a bad idea.

Several months went by and nothing really happened. Just the normal family type banter. Remember - not actually family.

Then a Patricia's husband had to go away for a week on business. He was only three hundred miles away, but far enough for him to remain away.

At the same time he went away, Patricia got a bad 24 hour bug and was both throwing up and had really really bad diarrhea. On one of her trips to the bathroom she slipped over and hurt her knee and shin.

She Called out to me to come and help her and I went into their bathroom.

She had had an accident of the number two's, but needed to be helped up to the toilet. I stepped up and helped her out. I sat her on the toilet, and then while she was on the toilet, I went and ran the shower for her.

After Patricia finished on the toilet, I helped her into the bathroom.

She climbed into the bathtub to take the shower. She had her nighty on and it was all dirty.

She took it off and pulled off her panties too. She rinsed them out in the shower - it was mostly brown liquid.

I went and got her another nighty and several more towels.

While Patricia was cleaning up in the shower, I went and cleaned the bathroom up for her. It wasnt that bad as most of it was in her nighty.

When I had finished I washed my hands and she called for me to go and help her out in the bathroom.

I got there and she had a towel wrapped around her and omg, she looked amazing all wet.

She apologized for making a big mess and I told her it wasnt a problem at all.

Patricia then said, "this is so embarrassing."

I told her, "no, it really isnt, and I couldnt be happier to know that I was there to be there for her."

She looked straight at me and I could feel that she felt something for me - something about caring, not anything else.

She asked me for another towel to dry and wrap her hair, and another to dry off any other "loose bits" as she said.

I handed her the two towels as she needed them and then already had her nighty in hand for her.

I asked her if she wanted to put the nighty on in her bedroom or here.

She said here, in the tub where I have my balance at the moment.

I handed Patricia the nighty and she asked me to wait. I turned to give her some privacy.

She shuffled and dropped the two extra towels and I could hear her putting the nighty on over her head. She got it eventually.

I then said to her to take my arm and I will walk her back to the bed.

She said to take her to the couch. She wanted a drink of water and wanted to stay up a bit to make sure she was still okay before trying the bed out again.

I sat her on the couch and got her a glass of water.

I also got myself a water.

We sat drinking the water.

Then I turned to her and said you are so special to me.

All my life for as long as I remember, you have been there.

I love you and I dont want you to get hurt.

Pat then said, "oh, John, thank you s much!" "I also, love you to very much." "Your are my special person too."

I then said "really, I am?"

Patricia said, "Yes, you have always been extra special to me. Always."

As soon as she said that, I touched her wrist and gently squeezed it.

Then after about 30 seconds of holding her wrist, I moved my hand down to her hand, and held her hand.

I then, feeling my stomach in my chest, and full of nervous probably misplaced puppy love excitement, I while holding her hand still, I said, "Patricia, when I say I love you, I really mean it."

She then said, "So do I."

I then said to her thinking she didn't get my drift, and likely me missing my out, I said to her, "No, I have been in love with you and when I say I love you, it's with all of me. My heart, my mind, my soul, and my physical being."

She looked at me stunned.

And as soon as I realized I think I made a mistake opening my mouth, she gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

Right then I decided to give her a kiss. A gentle kiss, like a kiss good night, but a kiss all the same.

I lent into her, and she gently lent back, but at the same time, gave my hand another gentle squeeze.

I lent further into her and put my mouth on to her mouth and kissed her very gently.

She kissed me back. (what seemed to me was automatically kissed me back).

Then I looked at her and she was still silent.

I said, "have I made a huge mistake?"

Patricia then said to me, "no, no you have not."

She then said to me, "I love you too, but..."

As soon as she said she loved me too, I then moved my other hand to her head and gently pulled her back to me and I began kissing her on the mouth.

Before I knew it, we were embraced in each others arms and we were kissing like teenagers.

I moved her hair from her eyes, and away from her mouth, and kissed her again and again.

I dont think either of us thought about this.

then I said, "our secret."

I said, "of course, this is our secret."

she then said to me as I was laying her backwards onto the couch and looking into her eyes, and staring at her mouth, and her skin, and lips, "are you really sure about this?"

I said, "like never before, I want you in my life and I want to be in yours."

As I said that, she then said, "I am so old, and look at me, I am not even whole."

I then told her, "Patricia, together, we will be whole."

It sounds soppy, but, you had to be there.

We then kissed for probably going on a half hour.

Then...

We stopped. I said I need to ask you so many questions.

We chatted for probably close to two full hours.

I asked all about her sex life with her husband, and she told me absolutely everything.

I found out she had never given a bj, nor done anal.

She apparently had wanted a threesome since she was a teenager, but never had one. She had only ever been with her husband, but had always wanted more.

Also, he would cum too quickly for her, but she did like sex with him when they did it, which was about twice a year for the last 10 years.

Once we had talked...

I slowly ran my hand up her nighty to her breast. And then to where her chest was flat.

I then lifted her nighty up and off her so she was naked in front of me.

I then kissed her flat chest where her breast was removed, and she said Sam never ever did that. Then I lifted her now sagging right breast, and placed her nipple into my mouth and I began to tongue her nipple until she began to moan.

I then moved back up to her mouth and we continued to kiss.

As we were kissing, I was slowly moving my hand over her chest and breast. When I did that, I felt Patricia move her hand into my pants and down into my shorts. She then touched my by now dripping wet penis.