Ever since moving to the neighbourhood, I had largely kept to myself. It wasn't because the neighbours were old and grumpy, young or annoying, or simply not worth my time, I just liked to keep myself to myself. That's just how it was.
If I wasn't working, I was working out, and if I wasn't working out, I was busy with something else. I was always on the move and there was always something going on. It made it hard to socialise with anyone but those in my immediate; taking me several weeks before I even properly talked to my first neighbour, who turned out to be quite the asshole. Luckily, he lived across the street from me, but even that felt too close to home.
If my initial reception coloured my perception of the type of neighbours I had, it did so with a wide brush. I had talked to many of them here and there since moving in, with most being alright and nothing to write home about, apart from the next-door neighbour to the right, Maria.
At first, I thought she was just a pretty face, a suburban woman who was more than likely a total bitch, a lot of them were around here. Yet, when I first sat down with Maria and had a proper conversation, my preconceived notions were proven completely and utterly wrong.
It was a September evening, the last dying days of summer. The final rays of the sun's light eclipsed through the suburbs, eager to shine through where and when it could. Each house and their different heights and shapes encouraged the sporadic, golden-hour lightshow that I had been enjoying in my garden. Just another reason why I loved this place.
With the sun lounger out, tanning oil on, and joint in hand, it was shaping up to be a great Friday evening, and whether or not the neighbours knew of my extracurricular activities, it didn't matter. No one had yet arrived at my door with their pearls clutched tightly, they simply let it be. It wasn't until Maria next door had popped her head over the fence that I had been brought back to reality, momentarily at least.
"Hey you", She said, her flowing brunette hair worn down for once, framing her middle-aged face to look even more attractive than usual, "I may be getting on James, but I'll always remember that smell."
"Not a fan?" I said lazily, taking a long drag as I turned my head towards her direction. She had caught me, not just smoking, but with barely any clothes on as I sunbathed, my gym short short's the only piece of clothing I had as I soaked in the last few weeks of the sun's juice for this year. I usually smoked at the end of the garden, did it inside, or went to a nearby park to do it, however it seemed my laxness would finally bite me in the ass.
"Wouldn't you like to know," She said, giggling.
It was nice to hear that, especially after I had found out when, in one of the short conversations I've had previously with her, that she usually had the house all to herself. A couple children, a divorced husband, a consistent gym schedule and curvy in all the right areas; the perfect next-door dick tease that I of course needed in my life, just to make it all that more complicated.
"If you want in, just say so Maria." I replied, smiling, "Anyway, you're not 'getting on', you look great.".
A wide smile began to form on her face as she looked at me, and I could have sworn she was staring not at me, but into me. She had just enough of a hint of mischief on her face as she devoured me with her hazel eyes, and I couldn't help but think to myself how odd it was that she was single.
"Adorable, even when high!" Said Maria.
"I'll take that as a no," I said in between tokes, "If the smell is too much, I can take this elsewhere, I don't mind. I figured I'd smoke until someone told me off; is that someone you, Maria?".
"Hmmm," She said, pausing for a second as she continued to look at me, her eyes glazing over me and sticking to my torso for just a tad too long to just be a coincidence.
"Um, yes... wait- no!" She added quickly, "No need, just, if you could do it a bit further away from where you are, that would be great. I don't really use the rest of my garden, except the patio out back, whilst I don't really mind it, it's --".
"No worries, Maria," I said, standing up and picking up my lounger, "You should have said something to me earlier."
For a moment, Maria said nothing, choosing to watch me silently, but then eventually spoke up. "Wait, don't go now," She said quickly, "I can't talk to you when you're all the way over there."
There's that smile again...with a hint of sultry mischief...fuck me.
"Oh, so you came out here to talk to me too then, huh?".
Maria blushed, seemingly momentarily lost for words as I quickly interjected before she could speak again.
"You know, you can always stop peering over that fence and join me, if the smell isn't too much for you that is.".
We had never gotten that far yet, nothing past pleasantries, hello's, and all the small talk in-between was all that our relationship had seen. A one-on-one conversation was a big step, and to smoke at the same time? Well, needless to say, it wasn't exactly the wisest decision, yet here we are. She was my direct neighbour after all, yes, but so were the grumpy bastards next door to me, Scott and Andrea, and, in my experience, it's always been best to just keep these people at an arm's distance (no matter how much I wanted the opposite with Maria.).
Maybe it was the marijuana talking or the post-gym endorphins rushing through my system, or perhaps I was just a horny guy who had enough of seeing this hot, mature neighbour walking around, being kind and, at times, perhaps flirty, without doing anything about it. Whatever the reason, I was simultaneously happy and frightened as soon as my mouth began moving, and once her mouth started moving, those feelings were amplified tenfold.
Moment of truth...
"Are you sure?". She said unsurely, her brow furrowing slightly as she spoke, "I don't want to cramp your style...".
"Can't cramp what I don't have.". I said, shrugging.
I could see her doing the calculations in her mind, the same calculations I had been doing ever since I had suggested it. There's an etiquette, an unwritten, unspoken rule around neighbours. Once you make that move, you're inviting a situation that could either develop into something great, or, in my humblest opinion, something incredibly fucking terrible. The beauty was that there was only one way to find out.
Here's the thing; there are people you want to be friends with -- in my case, guys who are into the same stuff I am and are around my age - and there are people you want to date -- in my case, girls who workout, are kinky, and can have an intelligent conversation with me - and then there are those you want to fuck -- in my case, girls who workout, are kinky, and it wouldn't hurt If they can have an intelligent conversation with me too. Complex, I know, but if we can't at least have a halfway conversation, we might as well just be animals, acting and surviving on our base instincts. One thing is for sure though; never,
ever
should any of the three really be looked for in your next-door neighbour. If only I learned to take my own advice.
"You're too hard on yourself," She sighed, "But yes, that does sound nice. I think I can put up with it for a bit, but if you start talking about 'peace and love' and whatever differences there are between strains and all that, well I'm leaving, I swear!".
A whole thirty seconds had passed before I heard a knock on my front door. My heart didn't know what to do, deciding to jump and sink at the same time, whilst my cock knew
exactly
what to do, much to my annoyance.
