You may think I am a 50 year old slut but on the first night of my Norwegian cruise holiday, I met a black man and he ended up sleeping in my bed.
I am not a slut. My mama didn't raise me to offer my body to anyone until I was married. I was a virgin when I got married.
It's a generational thing. My 22 year old daughter, Pauline, sleeps with lots of men. She enjoys sex. Sex is as natural to her as shaking hands was in my youth.
She has a one year old son by an unknown father. This doesn't stop her sleeping with other men. Some of her boyfriends / lovers sometimes stay over in our house.
They seem to me to be using Pauline for sex. But I have never told her that. If I broach the subject of her getting married, Pauline calls me an "old fuddy-duddy".
For my daughter's generation sex is just a normal part of life. Her moral code is different to mine. My daughter calls them "fuck and forget" experiences. I would never think of using the "F" word when speaking to my mother. I don't think much of people using the "F" word, even when it describes the actual act of lovemaking. But many people use it as part of normal speech. It grates when I hear someone say "The meal was f'ing great" when they could merely say "I really enjoyed the meal".
For me "f and f" sex wouldn't be enjoyable. Well that's not quite true. Pre-marital sex would be enjoyable but there would be after-sex guilt.
Sex-Guilt
Before my husband died I was attracted to another man, Terry, who had a reputation as "being a man for the ladies". He was a senior manager in another department. The word around the water cooler was that he had been well provided by mother nature.
He was very attentive and was obviously attracted to me. I tried not to, but I often thought about him as a potential sexual partner. I imagined a larger penis inside my mouth and then inside my vagina.
One day I told Terry, "I am in love with you. If only I wasn't married."
Terry replied "I love you as well. You being married needn't necessarily stop us. I have partnered many a married lady. I will be discrete. No one will ever know."
Terry and I would have long and sometimes sexy conversations. After many months of getting closer and closer I decided that the "ladies man" and I would sleep together. I made this decision as my husband slept beside me.
I felt extra guilty about deciding to sleep with someone else while my husband slept blissfully unaware. I knew that my husband would soon wake up and we would have a cuddle and "Good morning" sex. That night my husband and I would have "Sleep well" sex. The average couple have sex 3 times a week. As you can see, my husband is above average at lovemaking.
I have no complaints about the quality of our lovelife. But the allure of being partnered by someone better endowed was too strong to resist.
I felt that perhaps I was missing out sexually. In comparison to my daughter I certainly was missing "different folks with different strokes". But quantity wise, I was getting more sex than her. I sometimes wonder if I get more variation than she does. I suspect she gets mostly missionary position sex.
But my daughter does get the thrill of new conquests more than I do. I think that is why I am going to stray. The thrill of a conquest of a well hung, well experienced man.
I lay in the marital bed planning on letting another man sample the wares that a wife should give her husband. Correction, the wares that a wife should ONLY give her husband.
For the only time in my life I felt like a slut. A slut who had to keep a secret from my husband and my daughter.
My mama's voice telling me "only whores stray" echoed in my head. Despite my mama's moral message I wanted a "one night stand" in a hotel. Well, I actually wanted a "dirty weekend" rather than just one night. And, on the basis of "you might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb" I really wanted to become Terry's regular and sole mistress.
My Plan
I lay there with my husband asleep thinking of how to explain away my absence for a weekend.
I couldn't think of any suitable fable to tell my husband. Then suddenly I thought of a plausible fiction. In a month's time, Tricia, one of the girls in the office, and many others were going down to Brighton for her hen party.
I would tell a lie to my husband. I would say that I was going to Tricia's hen party. I even planned which quiet countryside hotel Terry would become my lover. I thought of Terry and I in a double bed. Just then my husband woke up. We had a cuddle.
I said "Darling, I feel extra randy. Is "girl on top" okay?"
The cuddle had made my husband hard. He lay there and I mounted him. With his cock inside me I bounced up and down his shaft until he ejaculated.
He said "As well as the sensational sensation of your cunt gripping my cock I get to watch your breasts bounce."