I had worked in Salford for over two years when I was offered the opportunity of introducing a company's first computer system. My only reservation was that it was in Wednesbury in the West Midlands. Nonetheless I went for the interview. Which is how I met...
The Mature Woman (1987 ~ 27)
The interview was an unexpectedly relaxed one, with the Finance Director Jim Hawke and Production Director Bernard Jones. There was also a woman Lynn Elliott from Finance and a "computer advisor" Paul Owens. Aside from some general questions about my experience there was no serious grilling. They seemed more interested in my thoughts on how to go about introducing a new computer system. While Jim led the interview, it was really Bernard and I who seemed to get on easily. The fact we both had a racking cough and cold may have gained me some sympathy. Paul asked some quite technical problems, which I thought were a bit 'try to catch you out' or show off his own knowledge. Not sure what it was about him but I didn't take to him. Lynn was quiet, other than asking what support I thought I would need. I admitted my expertise was primarily technical but I knew the manufacturing and engineering systems well, but less so the commercial and finance side, which was where I felt I needed help.
I got the job and started in early May 1987. My new job title was Computer System Manager, with overall responsibility for computer operations and system development. May and June were all about planning the hardware and system introduction, for which I needed no training. The big issue was data setup. Everything was on paper! Danny Ramirez from engineering and Lynn Elliott from Finance became the key business people helping set up new procedures, data coding and almost everything!
The factory still had an annual two week shutdown, in late July/early August. With some reluctance, the business accepted my proposal to shut down a few days earlier to do a full stock check and to get all the business data keyed in. In a hectic two weeks, we did it!
I'd previously suggested that Lynn from Finance could temporarily transfer to work with me during those early days. It turned out she was responsible for the Executive Payroll and other sensitive work and would oversee all cheque printing. She'd been involved in the early assessment and selection of the new computer system and Danny said she was well regarded work wise, though a little "stiff" was his description.
I discovered that Lynn was forty nine, though maybe did look older with her shoulder length but plain hair. She didn't dress to impress, though I did think she might be shapely under the clothes she did wear.
Lynn proved herself quickly as a valuable resource for people interaction, call handling, documentation and she learned quickly how to handle system operations. She also seemed eager to learn "new stuff". She didn't give up some finance activities though, especially the Executive Payroll.
At first we covered a working day from 7:30am till 6:00pm, though the factory operated from 8:00am till 5:00pm. This was to ensure secure start up and close down of all systems and provide data backup. Sometimes extra hours were required at the weekend. Usually one of us started and finished early, while the other started and finished late. I often started early and finished late!
In mid September, when I thought we were working well together, Lynn said she was thinking of going back to Finance.
"Is it something I've said or done?" I asked.
"No. It's just... well... I'm 49 and you're 27 and all this computer stuff is... is somehow not for us oldies!" she answered.
"You're not old," I replied, "Anyway, 49 or 27, age is just a number. It's what's on the outside. How you look, how you dress, how you act. Old or young is how you feel. It's on the inside."
"You think I dress old?" she asked, a queried look on her face.
"Er, can I defer that to the next century please? And it wasn't a comment about you." I tried not to answer honestly.
After a brief pause, she asked, "But do you?"
"Well being honest... yes. Don't be offended, please. I value you working with me and don't want to lose you. Don't you like the work?"
"I do," she answered, "I like the variety and people interaction and stuff. And you do treat me like an equal too! Even though you don't like how I dress."
"No I," I started.
"Joking!" Lynn replied.
Whether it was that conversation or something else, she stayed. Over the coming weeks Lynn became more relaxed, she even dressed more casually and had her hair trimmed and shaped. She became more attractive or younger looking I would say. There was also lots of learning for both of us: commercial and finance for me, technical and manufacturing for Lynn.
Acronyms were one of the things that got us laughing! For example,
"Oh yes," I said, "The computer industry just loves acronyms. They're all over the place. Some verging on rude."
"Like?" Lynn asked, a little quickly I thought.
"Data Interchange Control Kit." I replied.
A brief pause, "DICK?" she said, smiling.
"Yes, they later changed it. The nearly worst I heard was File Utility Control Service," I followed.
"FU.." she started then stopped.
"I know, fucking awful!" I said. Lynn actually laughed. I added, "You can make your own up, you know. And be really rude with them!"
"I'll think about it!" she replied with a smile.
I learned, in some of the quiet work times, that she'd been married to Denis, a manager or something at the local water company, for nearly thirty years, and they'd never had children. A choice, apparently. They had married while Lynn was living with and subsequently caring for her ailing mother and they continued to live there after her mum died some seven years ago. Denis was some 3 years older than Lynn. He was a goer-outer, into golf and tennis and drinking at the golf club. Lynn was into watching TV, visiting her elderly aunt and some long time lady friends! He had golfing holidays with some of his friends or with his work colleagues. She didn't play it and wasn't even interested! She would holiday with her mum and/or aunt while he was away golfing. When they did holiday together, it was usually in the UK, and he always took his clubs! As we worked together more and talked more, I think she opened up a bit more about their life together. I gave her a highly edited and potted history of mine. Minus the sex part!
The Computer Room was in the corner of a ground floor office, with half glazed walls so you could see in. The computer itself was a low cabinet about 2 foot tall, 3 foot wide and 4 foot long, with 3 disc units about 3 foot tall and a fireproof safe in the corner. In the October, an insurance issue arose so that the windows which were open to the office area had to be fully covered, so the Computer equipment could not be seen through the office window from the road! Additional security locked doors were put in too.
I still continued to run, usually after work. Prior to the covering of the windows to the Computer Room, I'd changed into my running gear in the toilets. Now I changed in the Computer Room once I started the data backup. I'd go out running for 20-30 minutes, by which time it had finished.
October also saw the addition of a new system module, which resulted in the computer system operating overnight, so our early/late working pattern changed. We started earlier at 7 am but finished later to complete end of day processes. On Fridays it would be later again to undertake full system backups, though occasionally that would be done on a Saturday morning.
Time went by and we continued to work well together. Then one Monday morning, in November at about 8:15am, Lynn rang in to the direct line we had in the Computer Room. She was obviously upset, saying it was a personal matter and she wouldn't be in. I said that was fine and to let me know if there was anything I could do.
The next day, Lynn was already in when I got there about 7:10am. Though I asked if she was OK, she just made of grim face and said nothing. Most of that morning she had been a little "off" her normal self, seemingly distracted by something and spending most of her time in the Computer Room, alone. Early in the afternoon, I went into the Computer Room only to find her at the console crying. I sat next to her, placing my arm on her shoulder and asked her what the problem was, thinking it might be work related. She just blurted it out. It turned out her husband Denis had been having an affair for more than four years. Over the weekend he had confessed it, packed up and had left her. She'd had no idea of his affair, his seeming unhappiness with their lives, with her or anything. I was concerned for her but felt all I could do, there and then, was to be a listening ear. She didn't want anyone to know yet, in case things changed. It turned out there would be a lot to listen to! Over the rest of the week she told me more of her life.
Lynn's father had died when she was young and she lived with her mum, who herself became gradually more unwell, more frail. Lynn became her mum's carer and ran the household. Lynn and Denis met when she was 20 and he was 23. In "those days" you didn't have sex before marriage. She was a virgin bride, they honeymooned, briefly, in East Anglia and lived in her mother's house, as Lynn still cared for her. Sex had always been a bit "awkward and occasional" while living with her mum. Children never really seemed to come into their plans, though she thought that maybe it was more him than her. By the time her mother died, seven years ago and Lynn inherited the house, life had become routine. Even sex, when it happened was at the weekend! Lynn had never bothered going on the Pill. It didn't seem worth it for the amount of sex they had. Denis seemed to prefer to use condoms anyway. I did try to say to her that her conversation had become a bit intimate, not necessarily inappropriate but maybe a bit delicate. She said who else could she talk to. Her aunt, her friends? No, she'd be too embarrassed. She felt relaxed in confiding in me. In me just letting her ramble and listen. She trusted me to say nothing.
Each day that week included more discussion of their life. Then, on the following Monday she came in very, very angry,
"She's ten years bloody younger than me! Can you believe it? Four years the bastard's been shagging her. Four years! It didn't stop him screwing me every now and then though. I... I bet he doesn't use condoms with her either, the slag. And I bet she sucks his dick, the whore. I...", she paused realising the outburst, "... sorry."
"Don't be." I said, "Your feelings are your feelings and you have every right to them. Just don't let them rule you."
"I can't tell you the anger I feel." she added, "There's no way back for him now."
Over the course of that week, I let her rant a bit more and attempted a sympathetic, comforting and supportive position.
It was the beginning of December when the bomb dropped! Denis's mistress was pregnant! Lynn really broke down. Betrayed, she felt. Worthless and unattractive, no redeeming qualities.
It would take me a while to ease her anger and drive up her low self esteem. Eventually, she said she wanted to understand men, their drivers, their sexual drive, what on earth it was, what they looked for and what she had or didn't have. It became the driving element of her conversation, our conversation, particularly at the end of day work times.
Then one evening, in attempt to reel in the conversations, I said
"Lynn, I'm 27 and single. I'm no expert in relationships, in fact I've never had a proper one, though I've had many a liaison. I can't explain why Denis behaved liked he did. But there are some things I can say."
I paused, put my hands on the top of her arms and looked deeply into her eyes, saying,
"Look back several months at yourself and you'll see that you've transformed your appearance, your look and dress, the outer you. You ARE a good looking woman, and you have a nice personality to boot. Unless, of course, that's just because I'm your boss!" I said trying to lighten the tone.
She half-laughed, "Thanks"
"Lynn, I want you to listen to what I say and not be offended." I continued, "So... as you've opened up about your life, talked about your sex life or lack of, I have to say that I've thought some lustful thoughts and had some erotic dreams of having sex with you! You may not see it but I certainly see that there's a desirable woman in there trying to get out!"
Tears appeared in her eyes and I panicked, "Sorry I really didn't mean to upset you or "
"No!" she said, "I don't think I've ever been told I was desired or lusted after. Certainly not by Denis in... in like forever!"
"Trust me," I replied, "if you ever come in wearing a tight blouse and a mini skirt and bend over the computer, you'll feel a desire alright!"
Lynn visibly blushed, adding "Really, I don't know what to say."
"You don't need to say anything, you need to think about you. About how and what that means to that inner you. That young you! That's the transformation you've started and that you need to continue to make. To become more positive about how you feel."
