The Wheels on the Bus

*Author's Note: Love at first site is rare. So are whirlwind romances. But every now and then the stars all line up and both people somehow 'just know'. This is one of those times.

******

"So did you have a good time?" her friend asked.

"It was okay."

"Just okay?"

"Yeah. I mean, it was nothing to write home about, but it was...nice."

"Wow. Try to tamp that enthusiasm down, would you, Jessica?"

"I don't know what else you want me to say, Erica. He's a decent guy, and we had...an okay time."

"Sorry. I just had such high hopes this time. Woody is such a..."

Jessica realized her best friend was about to say 'nice guy' so she started laughing and pointed at her.

"See! Now you understand, right?"

Erica sighed then said, "You're right. He's just...okay. And then there's that name."

Jessica smiled but didn't laugh before saying, "That isn't his fault, you know. Neither is the fact that he's well, just a nice guy."

"Look. I've tried and tried to set you up, but no one's ever good enough for you. I'm not being mean, I'm just telling you the truth."

Jessica smiled then said as nicely as she could, "I think you mean the truth as you see it."

She sighed again then said, "Okay, you're right again. I just love you so much, and you've been so unhappy since Jerry Jerk Wad cheated on you."

Jessica laughed at that name, too, then said, "I love you, too, Erica. And yes, you've been really caring, and I love you even more for that. But it's not that I can't be pleased. It's just that I'd like to meet someone who still believes in old-fashioned romance. I don't want to sit around listening to another boring, middle-aged man telling me all about his job in a way that makes my eyes glaze over. And so far, that's pretty much all they want to talk about."

"But, Jessica. Money is important. It isn't everything, but not having any isn't a lot of fun."

"No. I remember being poor when Jerry and I were first married. And yes, it was hard. Very hard. But it was also the happiest time of our lives, you know? Once he got his first really well-paying job, life became routine. And while it was comfortable, it stopped being fun. Yes, I know, marriage isn't supposed to be all fun all of the time. But if one person stops trying altogether while the other isn't willing to give up, being married isn't very enjoyable."

"No, you're right. And then when the dipstick who isn't trying—at all—cheats on you with some...bimbo..."

"Can we talk about something else?" Jessica said, wanting to talk about almost anything else.

"Oh, sure. Sorry. I promise I'll try and pull back on the matchmaking from now on."

Erica paused then said, "Well, maybe a little."

Jessica laughed knowing her friend really did have her best interests at heart. The men she'd set her up with really were good, decent guys. It was just that there wasn't any chemistry. None. At all. And every relationship needed at least some kind of chemical reaction to get it going.

Jessica knew she was quite possibly too romantic for anyone, but that's how she was, and at 39 that wasn't likely going to change. In all fairness, she was as giving as she was 'needy', though, so any guy who also valued romance, and yes, intimacy, would get at least as much as he gave, and most likely a whole lot more in return.

Jessica was, by her very nature, a giver, and giving made her happy. But unless she also received, it was extremely difficult to endlessly give and give to someone who could endlessly take without even feeling, let alone showing, any gratitude. Someone like...Jerry Jerk Wad, the man she'd been married to for almost 15 years. Fifteen long, unromantic, childless years.

So while these half dozen or so friends of Erica's hadn't panned out, she had to believe there were still a few guys out there who saw life and love the way she did. With her 40th birthday just around the corner, it wasn't as though she had to find someone in the next six months or she never would. But at her age, it was a lot harder to keep hoping she might, and as one guy after another she went out with seemed to live for work and his career, even she found it a real challenge to remain optimistic.

"So...how's your new job going?" Erica asked, hoping that would be an innocent enough topic.

"Oh. Yeah, well, it doesn't pay a lot, but I love being out of the house and around people again. All in all, it's been really good for me. I wouldn't want to work there longterm, but for now, it's not too bad."

"I'm so glad to hear you say that. Not to get back on money or...him...again, but you spent a lot of years at home so I was hoping getting back in the swing of things wouldn't be too difficult."

"You're spot on, girlfriend. I had a life of leisure with all kinds of money and a great house. Pretty clothes. Spa days. Nice car."

"And no sex."

Jessica tried not to laugh but couldn't help it.

"Exactly. And not just 'no sex' but no romance. Talk about living in the desert!"

"I'm so sorry, hon. I can't imagine going more than a few days without...you know..."

Jessica sighed loudly then said, "I remember those days."

She paused then added, "Vaguely."

"Did you ever wonder if Jerry was gay or having an affair before you found out about Babe the Bimbo?"

Erica was so funny when it came to throwing around monikers. Jessica laughed again then answered her question.

"No. I just assumed work was the be-all, end-all for him, you know? And as much as the affair hurt me, I will give him credit for being very good at his job."

"That part is true for sure, but you guys even pretty much stopped talking a few months before he, you know...right?" Erica asked even though she knew the answer.

"Sadly, yes. Our conversations turned into cryptic messages like, 'Is my blue suit ready?' or 'Do you want chicken or fish for dinner?' And the replies were equally short and void of love or any emotion for that matter."

"Again, I really don't know what to say. I love that Robert and I still talk and share and do romantic..."

Erica stopped and apologized again for pouring salt into the wound.

"No. Don't apologize," Jessica said. "I'll admit I'm envious of what you guys have, but there's no need to feel bad because my husband was a jerk...wad."

She smiled at her best friend then told her, "I'm just so glad to have you in my life, and for your willingness to listen to me vent and whine and cry about my romantic woes or rather the lack thereof."

Erica laughed then said, "Hey, I'm glad to be here for you. I'm not the world's best listener, but I do try. I mean, not every woman is a great listener by any stretch. Conversely, not all men are lousy listeners, but so many of them only pretend to listen just so they can have a chance to talk."

"I know! They're not actually listening. They're just politely biding their time until they can say, 'Yeah, that reminds of something I once did' so they can talk about themselves again. That drives me batty!"

Erica laughed again then said, "Hey, I thought you didn't want to talk about that anymore?"

"I don't. It just kind of came out," Jessica said without sounding defensive.

"Could it because you're a lot more lonely than you let on? It's been over a year now, and you still haven't really dated anyone. I know we don't need a man to be happy, but living alone is pretty..."

"Sucky?" Jessica offered.

"Okay. Sucky works."

"Speaking of work, I've got to run some errands so I can be ready to go to work tomorrow."

"Oh, right. Another manic Monday!" Erica said referring to the song by the Bangles from back in the day. "I need to get home myself anyway."

Jessica didn't smile and Erica knew it was because she secretly (or not so secretly) envied her long-time friend who'd married her best friend soon after Jessica had tied the know with Jerry J. Wad. They also had two children, something else Jessica very much wanted but now often wondered if she'd ever have. Oh, and they still had really good, steamy sex now and then and the plain old vanilla kind every few days while Jessica had, well—a vibrator.

"Tell Robert hello for me, okay?"

"I will. And don't let this get you down. Your guy is out there. Just keep looking, and don't be afraid to look outside of your comfort zone, okay? There could be a bricklayer or a cab driver or even a penniless poet out there just waiting to find someone like you."

"Okay. I'll try and keep a stiff upper lip, old chap," Jessica told her in her best British improv which was actually pretty good.

"Love you!" Erica said as she hugged her friend goodbye.

"I love you, too, girl," Jessica told her, aware of just how thankful she was to have such a good friend for so many years.

As part of the divorce settlement, Jessica used the money from the sale of their home to buy the condo she lived in, and she kept the nicer of their two cars. However, living in the Seattle metro area meant busses were always running, and while it wasn't as convenient as driving, it was a lot less frustrating as traffic had gotten so awful the last ten years or so that driving in the city was no longer any fun. In fact, it was often so frustrating that by the time she got home she had a headache. By taking the bus, she could read a book or listen to music and let the driver deal with the endless stop-and-go traffic and all the angry drivers honking their horns and cutting (and flipping) people off to save a couple of seconds.

And that's when she remembered that as of tomorrow, the 29 bus no longer went to the University District where she worked. She'd need to take the 504 then transfer to the 29 a few miles from campus. The good news was she could still use the bus stop that was maybe 50 feet from the front door of her upscale, downtown condo.

The metro bus system wasn't perfect, but it was almost always on time. Jessica knew she couldn't wait until the last minute, but she also didn't have to be outside in the cold ten minutes beforehand, as the bus wouldn't leave ahead of schedule even if it arrived a few minutes early.

So the next morning, five minutes before the 509 was due, she locked her door and walked the few steps to the covered area and took a seat. Then right on time, her new bus pulled up. Jessica waited for an older woman to go ahead of her then got on and showed her annual pass to the driver. He nodded as she turned to look for a seat. The bus was nearly empty so she many choices and settled for the one with the extra leg room near the exit-only door in the middle of the bus.

Jessica pulled her iPod out and turned it on then sat back to enjoy the ride. Another older woman who reminded her of her grandmother got on at the next stop and asked if she could sit next to her even though there were empty seats all around them.

"Of course," Jessica said after pulling out an ear bud to make sure she heard the woman.

She didn't mind talking but wasn't really in the mood today, and thankfully, the woman pulled out a book and didn't say another word.

Jessica nearly didn't look up at the next stop, but she did glance at the three or four passengers who boarded, and then did a double take as she couldn't help but notice one of them. He was a very attractive, younger man with sandy blond hair and a very nice smile. She knew that because as soon as he turned toward her, they made eye contact immediately, and when the did, he smiled at her. Or at least she assumed he was smiling at her. She slowly turned to look behind her to see if someone else was the recipient of his smile, but there was no one there.

His smile caught her off guard and that, plus the fact that he was as good a looking guy as she'd seen in a very long time, flustered her to the point where she just looked down. He neither looked over nor spoke as he passed by, and Jessica was grateful to be able to close her eyes and pretend she was listening to music.

She actually was listening to music, but she had no idea what was playing for another minute or so as that amazing smile of his seemed to somehow 'haunt' her. He was clearly under 30 and although she couldn't be sure, he might possibly be as young as 21, but was more likely somewhere in between. Either way, he was just so...yummy-looking...it had really caused her body to react in a way it hadn't for quite some time.

"I have got to find a boyfriend," she said to herself before finally mostly forgetting his face and even that amazing smile.

When she boarded the 509 the next day, Jessica had been so wrapped up in the warehouse's annual inventory where she worked, she hadn't so much as thought about 'smile guy'. She took the same seat, and just as the day before, a few minutes later the same older lady got on at the next stop and sat next to her.

Tired of thinking about SKUs and item numbers and quantities, Jessica felt like talking, and once the woman was seated said very cheerfully, "Good morning! We sat next to each other yesterday, right?"

"Oh. Why yes we did," the smaller, much-older woman said with a smile. "I remember you because you're so pretty."

Jessica tilted her head, made a kind of snorting sound, then said, "Ha! Pretty. That's funny!"

The woman didn't laugh. She just said very sincerely, "Well, yes. It's true. You're so young and thin and yes, you are pretty."

"Ahh! You just made my day!" Jessica told her before introducing herself.

She was mostly being modest as Jessica knew that for someone about to turn 40 she really did still look good. Very good, in fact. She'd never say it out loud, but enough other people still said it regularly enough that she knew it was true.

She wasn't 'thin' in the anorexic sense of the word. Her body was just very fit and well toned. And yes, her face was still considered very attractive—at least according to the handful of men she'd dated since being jilted.

Because she was now 'back on the market', a term she hated, Jessica always tried to make sure she looked her best just in case one of those guys Erica kept assuring her were out there really was. Today was no exception, and her hair and makeup were done quite nicely.

The sweet lady smiled politely then told Jessica, "My name is Harriet. You know, like Ozzie and Harriet. The TV show from the 1950s.That was well before your time, though, I'm afraid."

"Yes, but I have seen a few episodes. My grandmother used to watch reruns all the time when I was..."

The bus began slowing down, and Jessica looked outside and saw him waiting to board. She stopped talking all of a sudden and didn't say another word. And, as if on cue, he turned, spotted her immediately, and smiled.

Harriet saw her turn quickly and look out the window and asked, "Is everything okay, dear?"

Without looking at her Jessica replied, "Oh. Yes. I...I just saw someone I thought I recognized walk by. That's all."

She felt terrible for lying, but she wasn't about to say that the guy who'd just gotten on the bus, and who was probably at least 15 years younger than her, had again made her body feel something she longed to feel.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw him walk by Harriet then sit in the seat directly behind her. Other than the smile there was no other attempt at communicating with her, but Jessica was still very aware of his presence.

"You were telling me about your grandmother," Harriet reminded her.

"Yes. Sorry. Right," Jessica replied as she turned slightly toward Harriet and cut her eyes as hard as she could to get a glimpse of 'smile guy'. "She used to watch Ozzie and Harriet. I always thought Ricky was so cute."

"Oh, he certainly was! Poor boy died in a plane crash. Such a tragedy! And so young. Just like you."

Harriet touched her arm then said, "Not the plane crash part, though. God forbid."

"Again, you made my day, Harriet. I'm turning 40 next Tuesday, and I don't feel young...or all that pretty anymore," Jessica said quietly as she fought the urge to glance over her left shoulder.

It was so ridiculous because, unlike her, 'smile guy' really was young. Very young. But Jessica hadn't exactly had much in the way of male attention lately. At least not in the way she so desperately desired, and he really was very cute—young or not.

"Well, this is my stop, dear," Harriet said. "I volunteer at the shelter as often as I can. That keeps me young!"

Jessica guessed her to be in her late 70s, and she was a very sweet woman who'd been kind to her.

"I'm so glad we talked today," Jessica told her as the bus pulled to a stop.

"Yes. I hope we can do it again some time," Harriet said as she stood up and held the rail.

"Have a nice day!" Jessica said.

"I will, dear, and you do the same," she said as she began moving down the steps to exit the bus.

When she was directly in front of Jessica she said, "And I meant what I said. You're a very pretty young woman."

Jessica smiled and waved as Harriet walked away, and again, for a few moments, forgot all about the attractive, younger man behind her.

Three stops later, he got up, walked down into the exit well and held the same rail Harriet had used which put them less than three feet away from each other. When he stepped into the stairwell, Jessica could see his profile quite clearly even though she only casually glanced up. In less than a second, she realized he was even better looking than she'd thought. She saw he had the cutest dimples and...and then her body did that thing again.

She quickly looked down just as he turned toward her while the bus was pulling over to the curb. She tried not to look back, but her eyes betrayed her, and when she did, he smiled at her again.

She looked away so fast she felt like she was on a yellow school bus and back in junior high when she heard him quietly say, "She's right, you know."

Not sure he was talking to her, Jessica barely turned her head back toward him. When she saw him still smiling at her, she heard herself say, "What?"

"The nice lady sitting next to you. She was right."

The front door was opening and 'smile guy' turned and walked away without saying another word. As the bus pulled away, Jessica couldn't help herself and she looked back at him through the window, and this time he smiled and kind of waved. He'd never really taken his eyes off of her, and again, just like she'd done back in junior high, she quickly looked away then felt foolish to the point of ridiculous.

For the rest of that week, and on the following Monday morning, 'smile guy' induced the same 'tingling' feelings she'd gotten that first time when he looked right at her and smiled. Other than that one very brief exchange, they hadn't communicated at all since.

However, on that Monday morning, Harriet sat next to Jessica again, and this time they talked about Harriet's late husband, Herb, and that led to Jessica sharing a bit of information about how her husband had betrayed her.

"Oh, my. I'm so sorry," Harriet told her. "My Herb was such a kind, sweet, romantic gentleman. You know, we always held hands right up until he passed away. He would often leave me little love notes or buy me flowers for no reason. I got my last one the morning he died. He left it for me by the toaster, then went out to check the mail. When he came back in, I heard him sit down in his favorite chair, and then there was this loud whooshing, exhaling sound. Almost immediately, I heard him fall to the floor. And just like that...he was gone."

Jessica was listening intently, and her heart went out to this dear, sweet woman who'd had the life she wished she could have.

"I'm so sorry, Harriet. What you had is all I want," Jessica said. "I don't need money or things. Just a man who loves me and who believes in romance and isn't ashamed to show it. That's not asking too much, is it?"

The bus was pulling up to her stop when Harriet said, "No. I certainly don't think that's unreasonable. In fact, I can't imagine a marriage being much more than a business contract without it."