(Danny asked me if I wanted to write a story, he writes all the time. So do I but the things I write are medical reports, since I am a Registered Nurse. The only thing I could think of to write is about us and the way things are. Yes, Danny helped me, those of you who have read his stories can probably tell.)
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The first time I saw Danny was at my office, he went by my section and into Olivia's room.
Olivia works with me, or did for a few years. That is one different woman also, she usually wore a sweater with a cartoon character sewed onto the front of it.
In other words, Olivia looks nothing at all like a Registered Nurse, but she is damned good at it.
Danny was just another client, one glance told me it was probably his Medicare physical.
The nearly white hair, receding hairline made that clear.
Geriatrics is our specialty.
Later, I saw him headed down the hall wearing one of our gowns, doing his best to hold the back end of it closed. That was funny, but I have seen that many times.
It did pop into my head that he needed to lose 20 pounds.
But then so did I.
Our clinic is a little bit different, it is run by the nurses. We have a Doctor on staff but he stays in his office, usually all he does is look at charts and sign forms, because that is the law.
If he actually does see a patient, one of the nurses will double check to keep him from killing them.
At one of our meetings, just the nurses, the subject of men and the fact that they will almost refuse to go anywhere near a medical facility came up.
Olivia was the one that popped up with the idea that if we spent a bit more time "inspecting" these types of clients, they might prove to be quite a bit more willing.
The girls all laughed at that one but Olivia and I looked at each other.
"The old bastards will sit home and die if we don't do something!" Olivia added.
I have repeated that line myself many times. If teasing men and playing with their stuff a little bit during an exam will get them into the office where we can maybe, just maybe save their lives?
I am perfectly willing to do that.
I admit the part I did not expect was how much I liked it. Sitting on my little roller chair, I reach out and grasp with a latex glove covered hand, none of this two fingers and a glance stuff.
About half of my clients will firm right up, I am careful to let go before anything happens.
Usually I make it. Younger clients I have to be more careful with, and there are the rare ones like old man Vidalis that owns the shoe store down town.
That one was hilarious, he came into my office with a complaint of being too "quick."
Five feet tall, a ring of white hair around the back of his head. He had the gown on backwards, and his rather large and completely rigid penis sticking straight out.
He fired several off before I got completely sat down on my stool, that was embarrassing, probably more to him than to me.
I had to go get a fresh smock. I told Danny about that one when I got home, he laughed so hard I thought I was going to have to give him mouth to mouth.
Especially when I told him it wasn't the 300 pound wife old man Vidalis was concerned about, it was his young red headed sales clerk.
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Yes, we added a few tests, nothing really official like would be found in the manuals the company supplies us with.
Still, medically helpful, we soon were running tests that likely only happen rarely in our profession.
Older people often have sexual concerns, many of those have underlying medical issues. If we can isolate those issues, we help people.
Our clinic is very busy, too.
Society might look down on these types of procedures, but I happen to know for a fact that lab tests of sperm and urine can tell us a lot about what is going on with a client.
Ethics and all of that is involved.
We nurses don't "take" those samples, we send the client down the hall. Rarely one needs "help" and that is what we have Jennifer for.
Jennifer worked out perfectly. She is no nonsense, she can retrieve a sample from a difficult patient very quickly, the truth there is she also loves doing it.
Catheters, that is Jennifer also. That is rare, though.
So when I saw this rather good looking older man named Dan headed down the hall, I knew why. Then when I saw Jennifer headed that way tugging on a glove, I knew why, also.
Later, Olivia told me about him in our break room, she said he was the funniest client she had ever seen.
That interested me, but he was Olivia's patient, not mine.
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The next time I saw Danny was at a followup, Olivia had taken a leave to spend time with her daughter that was ill.
Danny was assigned to me.
Of course his stats were all over the place, he was complainng about having to get up a half dozen times each night to urinate.
What we see all the time with older males was all right there in his charts.
Of course old people die, but why in the world do so many of them rush the process?
