The Smell of Her Hair

Stephanie's diary

March 1, 2007 - Been chatting online with "Tom" for a few weeks now. Talking more and more about sub/Dom. I've felt submissive in situations in real life before... learning more about things.

March 3, 2007 - Tom is trying for phone sex... again. LOL. Keeping the chatting online so far. Definitely getting more sexual. Had a lovely "O" tonight.

March 10, 2007 - I notice Tom has a mean side... keeping my guard up even though only chatting online. He talked more about me being with different guys. He would want to share me?

March 12, 2007 - I know it will only stay online now. Listen to some things he says, not everything. One thing that sounded intriguing was a fantasy he had about one of 'his lady's' being a hooker for an evening. Not considering becoming a hooker... LOL... but what might be close enough for the excitement...? Got me thinking...

March 13, 2007 - BIG "O" last night.... super relaxed... thinking about... being with "him"... haven't thought about him in awhile. :)

March 14, 2007 - I think I have a way. Being an escort! No sex.. but close enough for the excitement.

March 15, 2007 - Tomorrow's the night! I've been in contact with the escort service (555-1234 .. just in case). I told them repeatedly I truly ONLY will be an escort for a gentleman. A companion. Not some hooker. From what J from school told me, that is the official way it works anyway, any other 'fun' that someone wants to have with a client is between the client and the companion.

March 16, 2007 - Early entry before going. Excited! A little scared. Long, hot shower. Little shower splash spray. Washed up like the times I have a Dr.'s appointment LOL! This is strangely erotic. I've been on blind dates before, but this feeling is so much deeper. Keep composed. What will I wear? Just something casual - I'm no hooker and I want whomever it is to know this. J from school will call me tonight to make sure I'm home safe otherwise she knows to call for help. Took a Mardi Gras mask - its worked great at masquerade parties why not tonight.

March 16, 2007 - This was one of the hottest experiences of my life!... It was... Mr. BIG "O" man from some alone time I had a few nights ago He didn't know it was me, I don't think anyway. He never said. I'm rambling. Let me back track.

I show up wearing my fave booty jeans and red tank. The sandals that show my toe cleavage LOL. Some sunglasses I took from the visor in my car. I was so nervous. The hallway was the longest hall I've ever walked down. Knees were shaking. Not from fear so much as excitement. Thoughts were racing in my head - "You can leave now" "It's not too late" " What if he wants to screw and you want to leave". Then I saw my hand knock on the door. "Breathe," I thought to myself. As the door begins opening I quickly turn and put on the mask and explain the discretion part. When I turn around to face him, I immediately recognize his eyes. His face. It's... someone I've known a long time... actually the father of someone I've known a long time. He's always been a good man. I've fantasized about him often. Older. Handsome. Strong yet willing to goof around with us. I was too young then. To awkward with my friend being his daughter.

We get the money stuff out of the way - glad to hear he only wanted companionship also. My mind was racing again. Never thought I would know the person. With the excitement of this new experience and now this person that I know being there... something began to happen. My excitement grew into an almost overwhelming sexual desire to be with this man. He couldn't know it was me. He would have said something. I wanted him. Wanted him to have me. I felt submissive. Wanting to be submissive to him. It was almost as if I began watching things happen in the room.

I told him he reminded me of someone. Then I remember hearing myself say something. Something I've never said to anyone, "You can do anything you want to me... anything!" Just remembering those words... I meant it... for him only.

I dropped to my knees and placed his belt around my neck! I was breathing. I felt my breathing change but it was more due to me getting incredibly worked up because of handing over this much control. I would never do this with anyone else. Why with this man? I trust this man. I always have.

I've given head before but this time... it was like I wanted him to understand how meaningful it was to me. Did he feel that way? I had so many emotions flowing through me, yet at the same time was entirely focused on him, feeling his control over me, feeling his cock in my mouth. I wanted to taste every inch of him. Feel him in my throat. I'm not used to gagging on a cock and in the past I would have stopped giving some guy head if he pushed too hard or too fast, but tonight, I was giving myself to this man who didn't know who I was. I was his. I even encouraged him. I wanted him to fuck my mouth. I think I remember even saying that to him! I was getting so incredibly wet while sucking him. I've never felt like this before. He gave me some of himself tonight. I'm smiling right now with my hand resting on my belly like I had a fabulous dessert.

I gave his money back. Could never take his money for this. I'll work out the money thing with the service tomorrow. I've got funds to cover it.

Only thing I could think to say on the way out was "I wont be far away." Maybe a visit could be arranged.

I soaked through my panties and even noticed that my jeans were moist from how turned on I was. I drove home with one hand on the steering wheel ;)

I'm off to the tub... hot bath... and the shower massager... this is going to be a fun night.

March 20, 2007 - Talking with Tom less and less online. My mind keeps going back to Mr. O. Would he recognize me? Still learning more about sub/Dom.

April 1, 2007 - Submissive. Subbie. Sub. None of the guys online are my cup of tea. One is too mean. One is wayyyyy to Dom. Too far away. Not honest. What about being Mr. O's little subbie? Wow.

April 7, 2007 - My fantasies continue to focus around Mr. O and my submission. He barely did anything in our one encounter and it was because of my encouragement. But he took to it well I think. I remember the way he pulled the belt and cupped my head in his hand while he fucked my mouth... Bath tub time again.

April 10, 2007 - Can a submissive help encourage someone to be her Dom?

April 15, 2007 - I'm invited to HIS house. It's my chance. My friend is in town and she wants to have dinner. He couldn't know it was me. Would he hate me? Would he want me? I want him to know it was me. I started getting moist the minute I started thinking of going to his home. What will I wear? How should I act? Casual. Act like myself. I would want this man to want me, not some pretend version of me.

April 20, 2007 - I could barely contain myself I was so nervous. My hands were trembling as I rang the doorbell. I was told to come in and there he was. Surely he saw me blush. My friend showed up quickly, I have missed her dearly and we began chatting. Throughout dinner my attention would go quickly to him. Can he tell I'm not the same girl who had been over before? Can he tell that I want him to know? Can he tell that I crave his control? Almost subconsciously I began tearing up a napkin. Just a couple of holes and a fold or two. I'm trying to not be obvious, but with her there I couldn't say or do anything out of the ordinary. I saw my chance as she needed some help in the kitchen. I went by him and let my hair go by his face. I heard him breathe in deeply then suddenly catch his breath and swing around toward me as I was in the doorway to the kitchen. I raised the makeshift Mardi Gras mask to my face and said "I wont be far away." And continued into the kitchen. I wonder what he was thinking.

When we came out of the kitchen his expression was a combination of someone who had seen a ghost and someone who desperately wanted that ghost. After my friend responded to his offer to get drinks... I responded the only way I could, by tilting my head down, searching for him with my eyes and crying out in a whisper, "Anything."