"I am head over heels proud of you for getting the balls to marry me. And when we became churchgoers again, we built our marriage on a rock instead of the shifting sands," Suzy proclaims.
"What God joined together let no woman tear apart," I say.
"George, it is interesting that you used the word woman instead of the conventional man in that Biblical phrase. I know the only person you worship more than me is Jesus. You'd never stray for some young tart like my friend Brandy with the tush whose pertness you've never discussed with me unless I bring it up first. Even though after church, you go out of your way to get coffee and donuts for Brandy to make her feel welcome because she is new to the church and not yet a member this is just your southern hospitality. You serve me strawberry shortcake from the fridge because I'm your one and only. But you fawn over this chick like she is on your first date. She is so young and beautiful. But for my sake would you be kind enough to wear this here Chastity belt? I'll bring the key with me to the Women's Bible study group at the church tonight."
"Honey, you know I'd never let my fingers do the walking without you. But if it lets you focus on the Lord's word instead of worrying about me at home then I'm all for it."
"Sweetheart this contraption ain't hard to put on. But let me do the honors so I can see it is nice and secure. I bought this thing off the internet and the instructions were pretty clear even for me and you know I am not the sharpest tool on the block." Suzy slips my cock in the cage like a crazy man in a straightjacket. My wiener is nice and snug but the hard part is yet to come, pardon the pun. Her handling me makes my prick resist arrest by trying to rise but firmly held in place. My willy waggles in its jail like a prisoner trying to escape his cell.
"Darling of mine, when you men get worked up those thoughts come unbidden. This will keep you from letting those fantasies take control of your mind."
"Please don't stay for the coffee and donuts. Get home soon. My pecker is already feeling like an inmate in solitary confinement."
"Think of it as God's will. I am your maiden whose hand has exclusive rights to your penis."
While Suzy is away my eyes are entertained by Bible lessons on TV taught by the reverend Throckmorton. Anything to take my mind off the fairer sex is welcome. Finally, I hear her open the door. "Suzy thank God you're back. Please unhook this thing."
Suzy smiles and cocks her hip. She puts her fingers to her mouth and says, "Oh my, it slipped my mind. The ladies at the class decided to put their husbands to the test. There is no use begging me for the key since I let Brandy keep it. But you could appeal to Brandy's mercy if your modesty permits. I'm off to the bowling alley with my lady friends but Brandy is at home watching her favorite episode of 'Fallen Wives Confess All.'"
"You know I love you, sweet darling. But there is only so much a man can withstand. If I go a whole night like this I may end up trying to pry this thing off."
"Well, then hubby take this key to her door, give it to her, and see if she helps you."
I hop in the car and head straight over to Brandy's not caring a damn about my embarrassment or what she may say. I knock on the door like a lost soul seeking freedom. Brandy answers and says, "Oh my George, you came at last. Come on in and let me give you some fruitcake." Her tongued words lick my libido with Pentecostal passion. She opens the door to her softly lit cushioned condo. I sit opposite her parted legs. She perches atop the seat of her chair in a yoga pose with her womanly heat barely concealed in a khaki shorts tease. She says, "Can I get you anything? Coke and rum?"
I reply, "I don't drink."