Pete was old. He didnât feel old, he didnât think old, but when he looked in the mirror each morning, he saw a face older than he felt himself to be. It was perplexing.
But two facts reminded him daily, he wasnât young any more. Each morning he woke up aching, and rolled out of bed. He had to stretch for several minutes to get the kinks out before he could start moving. There was that, and the matter of sex; a fond memory from the distant past.
Pete had an old boss once, who said he still chased girls, but couldnât remember why. When Pete was young, he didnât understand this. Now he understood perfectly. But he still liked to look at the ladies. He thought that must be built into his genes. Everything else might be a distant memory, but at least he still had his eyes.
The local recreation center had an olympic-size swimming pool, reserved for adults weekday mornings. When Pete retired, he and his wife started going there. It gave them some exercise, and something to occupy their time.
Most of the morning swimmers were retirees like themselves, and many made it a daily habit. A few serious exercisers swam laps, but most of the regulars congregated in separate groups of men and women, some exercising while they talked, others just treading water and shooting the breeze.
Pete had always been a people watcher, and he enjoyed speculating on the people who came and went. One couple was an enigma to him. Their names were Curt and Jesse. Jesse was upbeat and gregarious, Curt was taciturn, and private.
Curt was civil with others, but he kept to himself, and his manner didnât encourage socializing. When he spoke to his wife, he was peremptory, and Jesseâs gaiety had brittle quality. Pete sensed there was stress in their relationship. Often, he saw Jesse looking at her husband with en expression that was a mixture of sadness and love.
Jesse was plump. When Pete first saw her in the pool, he thought she was typical of other women that age, but one day he watched her climb out of the pool, and his eyes widened. She had the broadest hips he had ever seen..
Her figure fascinated him. Her body was firm, not blubbery, her waistline well-defined, her massive hips swelling below, in an exaggerated heart shape. Her upper body was well-proportioned. As heavy as she was, youâd expect her ankles to be thick, but hers were thin and delicate. Pete searched for an adjective to describe her, but nothing came. There was something primal about her. Every physical characteristic that is essentially female, was exaggerated in her.
It came to Pete that Jesse resembled those ancient figurines of prehistoric Earth Mother goddesses. It made him wonder if the old carvings were modeled on real women, rather than idealized representations of female fertility, as commonly presumed. He was drawn to this woman. He began to fantasize about her, and was surprised to feel stirrings of his long-dormant sexuality.
A day came when the speculation and fantasizing ceased. He got up at his usual early hour, and left his wife in bed, sleeping quietly. When she didnât get up at her regular time, he went to wake her. He opened the bedroom door, and a feeling of horror swept over him. She was unmoving, her eyes open wide, her body cool. She was dead. The authorities concluded she died of natural causes, a stroke or cardiac arrest.
Pete wasnât sure how he survived the next few days, but with the help of friends and family, he muddled through, and began to pick up the threads of his normal life. Alone now, after many years as part of a couple, it was a major change. Pete planned to go back to the pool, but he was reluctant to face his friends. He remembered the discomfort they all experienced , when someone lost a spouse.
Two months passed. He missed the camaraderie, and one day, the need to reconnect outweighed his reluctance to face them. He went back to be welcomed like a prodigal son. There were changes, of course, some new faces, some old ones gone now, and he noted the single women in the group were looking at him differently. Some were speculative, some interested, and some seemed downright predatory. Curt and Jesse were both still there, Jesse looking strained now, Curt more morose than ever.
Pete slipped into the old groove, and soon things were back as before. One day, he noticed Curt and Jesse had stopped coming. Then he saw Curtâs obituary in the paper. He wondered what happened, but put it out of his mind. Weeks later, Jesse came back alone, looking sad and subdued.
Pete went to her, and offered condolence. They spoke briefly, then went their separate ways. He began to watch for her daily, and noted that her previous gaiety never returned. One day, he asked to take her to lunch.
âWhy would you do that?â she snapped. He was surprised by her abrupt reply, and all that it implied, but he wasnât giving up. He pressed on.
âIâm tired of looking at television alone over a bowl of canned soup. I need to get out of the rut. I think you do too. So how about it?â
Jesse was reluctant, but she was embarrassed by the bluntness of her first reply, and couldnât think of a way to refuse without making things worse. She sighed, and said, âO.K.â
It was nearly noon, and Pete asked, âAre you ready to go?â She nodded. âO.K,â he said, âmeet you in the lobby.â
They changed, then left together. Jesse was bristling. Wrapped in her own misery, she was upset at letting herself get roped into a luncheon date she didnât want. Pete sensed her resistance, so he didnât give her much choice. He just said, âHow âbout The Diner?â She nodded.
The restaurant was nearby; family-style, good food, friendly service, a typical small, neighborhood restaurant, popular with the older set. Both had been there many times with their spouses. They went in and found a booth. The waitress knew them, and greeted them with a quizzical expression. âHi Pete, hi Jesse, havenât seen you two for awhile.â
Pete recognized the question behind her expression, and smiled. âHi Mary Jo, we both were widowed several months ago. We decided to have a little change of scene for lunch today.â
Mary Jo was surprised. Her face fell. âGosh, I knew you guys hadnât been in for awhile, but I didnât know anything like that happened. Iâm sorry, I didnât know.â
Pete smiled again. âWell, you know weâre not spring chickens, and no one gets any younger. Itâs coincidental we were both widowed at so nearly the same time.â
During lunch, Jesse was subdued. Pete tried to draw her out, but only managed to coax a fleeting smile. She was down and depressed. He was concerned about her.
They had arrived in separate cars, and when they left, Pete held her hand for a moment, and said, âSee you in the pool tomorrow?â She nodded, and they drove away. Pete frowned. He had to do something to get her out of the dumps.
Next day at the pool, Jesse came to Pete. She was contrite. âThank you for taking me to lunch yesterday. Iâm sorry I wasnât very good company.â
âHey, I liked it fine. How about doing it again?â
She hesitated, and he pressed. âLetâs go tomorrow.â
Again, she couldnât think of a polite way to refuse. She said, âO.K.â
Next day, when they met in the lobby, he noted she had fixed her hair. She wore a touch of makeup, and was more carefully dressed. It suggested she was beginning to take an interest in life, and it gave him a feeling of satisfaction.
Their lunches together became a daily habit, and he learned that Curt had been in law enforcement, that he lived for his work, and when he was forced to retire, he had sunk into deeper and deeper depression. He had always disparaged Jesse over her out-sized figure, and a lifetime of putdowns had affected her self-esteem. Pete concluded that Curt was a psychological abuser with problems of his own, but he sensed that , underneath Jesseâs poor self-image, lay a strong-willed, capable woman.
As Jesse responded to his kindness and support, her primal sexuality metamorphosed into something highly sensual for him. He didnât know if the change was in her, or in him, but his attraction to her grew, and his rising libido pressed on him. The equipment he needed to satisfy it, however, did not rise accordingly. He was frustrated.
Her house had been neglected while her husbandâs illness progressed, and Pete began to fix things for her. One day, he strained his back, and came inside to ease it.
âJesse, I did something to my back out there. I need to lie down on your couch for a few minutes.â
She came over, a look of concern on her face, and told him to lie down. âCan I do anything,â she asked? âNo, Itâs just a muscle spasm. Had âem before. If I can stretch out a few minutes, it will probably go away. I could use a cool drink, though.â Pete sighed, as his back began to relax.
Jesse brought him a glass of iced tea, and sat down on the floor beside him. Considering her weight and age, he wondered how she was going to get up, but she surprised him. Her movements were fluid, showing amazing strength and balance. Certainly no teenager, nonetheless she got up easily, went somewhere for a few moments, then came back to sit down beside him once more.
Pete was drawn ever-more strongly to her, and he sensed her feelings had been growing for him, too. He yearned to make a move on her, but âperformance anxietyâ held him back. Now with Jesseâs face close to his, the feeling swelled to a crescendo; his frustration was intense. But Jesseâs need had grown in parallel with his, and she was wise enough to understand his reluctance. She made her own move.