The Old Theatre

This should have been included in part 4 but i somehow lost it in a cut and paste.

How do you feel about me cuckolding you?

Oh, God, no. She is going to get herself a stud who can fuck her all night long. Find out I'm useless and tell me to leave. If I say no, she will tell me to leave anyway. "Oh, I err if you want."

Listen to me, you duffer; I know what I want, I want to know what you want.

Just say it, man. I thought she has seen through you. It was nice while it happened. "No, I don't like it, Kay; it frightens me. I don't want to share you with another man. If you said it had to be so, I'd have to accept it, but I'd be unhappy."

Oh, you big dope! I don't want another man. Why would I want another man? I love you. I know I like to tease you. We both know you love to be teased. But baby, don't you ever dare forget that I love you.

You asked me to marry you. What did i say? I've got sole access to the fun python that lives in your pants. I get back massages, foot rubs, strokes, tongue baths, and just plain love 24/7, plus you're nearly as good as a girl at eating pussy.

I don't want another man, why would I want some twat who wants to fill me up with his stinky jiz and leave me wanting in the damp patch? I've got the best man in the world. I want to cuck you with a girl numbskull.

I've never made it a secret that I swing both ways, have I? I want it to be a tease for you as well as a pair of nice titties for me to suck. Girls remember sucking momma's titties too. This one is ready to admit it.

Oh, then, that's different. Is it Angie?

"Oh fuck, is it that obvious?"

"I know you like her. You protect her like you do me, mistress."

"Go and get my paddle, Imbecilee."

"I was back in seconds; this always hurts a lot; I just wish I understood why I love it; she is right; I am a sick puppy.

Right, you know the form by now, boy, pants down, grip your ankles, and pull that bum tight as a drum. If you so much as flinch, you receive double what's left strapped into my pillory, and you get it with the bastard cane.

"I'm going to punish you for your lack of faith in me. You thought I didn't want you, didn't you, sicko?"

"You had better answer me, cos that delay just made 50 into a hundred."

"Yes Kay." I was being very careful to call her by the right name in the right place.

Right, first things first, I want you here; actually, no, I want you with me all the time! Not because you're a gorgeous-looking man; that does help, though. Not because you have the biggest dick I've ever had the pleasure of meeting; that does help a lot, though. Not because you are still taller than me even if I wear my highest heels; that's very important, too, but it's not the reason.

"What is the reason, Kevin?" "Be careful, boy, you need to answer these questions right if you want any skin on your arse when I finish with you."

"I don't know Kay!"

"Wrong answer, two hundred! Your in the shit boy; you are getting every one of these today."

"Oh my God, she is going to beat me unconscious," I thought."

"Let's make the questions easier. There are 4 answers to this question." If you get one wrong, I'll double it. Get one right, and I'll take 10 off.

Yes darling.

"So sicko, why am I punishing you?"

"Because I didn't have faith in you?"

"Fuck me with the blunt end of a rag man's trumpet! The boy listens. One right"

"Because I need to be trained?"

"Mmmm, a bit more before I can accept that,"

"To honour and trust you."

"Very good puppy! Two right!"

"Because you enjoy doing it."

"Another right; is that two or three?"

"Three mm, er, Kay."

Kay giggled. "Oh, we made a little mistake there, didn't we? I'll think about that! Next answer now, stop prevaricating."

"Because you can?" Kay didn't answer for a second or two, and it was very worrying."

I didn't think of that one puppy, but you are very right. I'm going to give you that one. But it means there are still two more answers, and I still want another. You can get another wrong and I can double it again."

I could see she was aroused. So I tried, "Because it makes you cum when you punish me?"

"I didn't think you would say that. I didn't think you would dare admit it. Oh, dear puppy. It looks as though there are two very sick puppies under this roof.

The next morning, the street door buzzer went off alarmingly as I was in the shower, washing fanny juice off my face. My cock, sorry, my mistress's cock--no, that's wrong as well; we were not in the dungeon. Kay's cock was still not used to the morning regime.

That is Kay getting her morning orgasm and me getting achy balls. I grabbed a robe; it was Kay's. God only knows where she bought it. It was silk with a very female dominant submissive male flavour. There was a bound, naked man with two corseted and booted female dominants who were twisting a wire tourniquet around his improbably tiny penis. The caption was, "Leave his balls, then the pig will remember what he's missing."

I wrapped myself in it and went down to the door. There stood an older lady. Not so old--I would say sixty if I had to put an age on her but somehow very familiar. Can I help you? I asked.

"Are you Kevin?"

"Err, yes, I am."

"Oh, thank heavens! Will you take my bag, please? It's quite heavy; it hurts my hands."

With that, she walked straight past me into the flat stairwell.

WHO IS IT? Yelled Kay from up above.

"It's me, Michalia, my darling, replied the old lady. Kay screamed. Mom, mom, is that you?"

Yes sweetheart. I'm sorry those boys have broken my front room window, and I got very upset, so the police came. Then she burst into tears.

I've got no one else love. All my friends are gone; I'm so sorry. I never listened to you; I never gave him a chance. I'm a spiteful, nasty old woman. Kay was down in the lobby now. She was hugging her mother. After Kay told me how her mom wanted her to be a little girly girl, I was surprised to find Kay was a slightly bigger version of her mom. There were three of us and a suitcase that you could hold a small rave inside our lobby, it's 4 feet by 5 feet. I suggested that perhaps we should go upstairs. Take your mom in the lounge, love, and I'll make us all a drink.

Kay had succeeded in calming her mother down. She had dried her eyes and was transfixed by our view of the castle. It has to be said, Caerphilly Castel is a bit transfixing.

I looked at Kay. Michala?

She mouthed "fuck off" at me.

"Right, mom," said Kay, "tell me what happened."

"I don't want to put either of you to any trouble".

"Mum Mum. Stop. You are not trouble. For Christ's sake, you're my mom. I love you, but you have to tell me what's gone wrong so I can put it right.

"How will you do that? I can't go back, I hit that boy, and the police came; Im on the run; I don't want to go to prison, Michala, can I just hide here."

"You did what?"

"He spat at me and called me, well, a very rude name, so I slapped his face."

"I can put it right, mom." "First things first, did the copper come from Dewsbery Road Police Station?"

"No," said Mum, "They were from Cleckheaton, he said. He wants me to go there today to sign a caution."

"THEY FUCKING WHAT?"

I interrupted. "Shouting is just going to upset your mom more, Kay."

Yes, you're right. Pass me my phone, please, Kevin."

Key Googled Cleckheaton police station. She hit the contact us button, and I heard the duty man answer.

"Is that the duty Sergeant?" I believe you have a 62-year-old woman, Mrs. M. Hawly, coming in to sign a caution. No, it's not me; she is my mother. You can't talk to me about it. Can you talk to my solicitor? You can--oh, good--his name?

"Alex Levi. Yes, Jack Levi's fucking son, I have him on retainer; he will handle this personally. Oh, so my mother won't be asked to sign then. Can you tell her that, please? Yes, she is here with me in Caerphilly. Yes, Caerphilly, you scared her so much last night that she got on a train and came here to be with her daughter."

"Mum."

"Yes darling."

"The nice policeman wants to talk to you."

"He wasn't very nice last night."

"It's a different one, mom. This one is really nice, and he's the boss,"

Five minutes later, Kay's mom still wasn't laughing, but she looked a lot more relaxed.

Mom, do me a favour and make me a cup of tea. Kevin's a lovely man, but he's a southerner."

Sorry, darling, I need her out of the room for a minute or two,"

"Kay was on the phone again."

"Frank, it's Kay Hawly, I need a place for my mom, and I need it yesterday. Yes, I know I said after our wedding, but there have been developments. Yes, still the same; no more than one flight of stairs. Parking, but not necessarily a garage, though I want one for the long term. No garden, but again, for the long term, it's a must-have. Get back to me when you have something to tell me. It is urgent, Frank, there is a bed for her here, but, oh, never mind.

Mum came back in the room with a teapot I didn't know we had, cups, saucers, a sugar bowl, and a milk jug; I didn't know we had them either, and I saw Kay drinking the only cup of Indian tea I've ever seen her touch

Come on, mom, let's go and look at the bedsit. I'm sorry, it's tiny; you didn't give me much notice.

I had stuck my nose in this "bedsit" when I'd been left alone here. It wasn't a bad little one-person flat. I could have lived in it if I had a big garage for my stuff.

"I'll take your bag, Muireann."

Please call me Mum or Ann. I hate that name. I prefer Mum, not like I'm your mom; I am Mum if you see what I mean.

Yes, I do, Mum; it is then.

It's a Scottish name, isn't it.

Yes, it is. My mother's mother was called Muireann. So I got lumbered with it.

Yes, and dad's mom was called Michalia. And you lumbered me with that. Kay spoke just a bit sharply.

I'm sorry, love. I was a bit flustered.

This was all said on the very narrow stairway to the upstairs flat.

Kay was trying to show her mom around the flat when the messenger alarm on her phone went. She was watching a film clip with her eyes like saucers. She looked at me and mouthed "holy shit" then turned around to her mom, who was sitting on the bed, leaning on the headboard, asleep.

"Oh, mum, you can't sleep like that." I pulled the curtains and disappeared. A few seconds later, Kay came out, closing the door behind her. I got her under the duvet, and she fell asleep again. I've got a good mind to phone Levi and set him loose on that copper. Lazy bastard thought my mom was the soft option. She may have been an interfering old bat, but she never ever smacked me once when I was a kid, and I gave her plenty of opportunity. She must have been driven to do that.

I made us a coffee each after Kay poured the rest of her tea down the sink.

"Michala ehh"

"If you call me that again, I'll cut your nuts off and eat the fuckers. She hasn't called me that since Dad died. She is in a right state.

What were the big eyes and the Holy Shit comment about love?

"I nearly forgot, Look at his Kevin." I was treated to a film clip of a very attractive lady sitting on a seat supported by what looked like a fully extended hydraulic ram. Sticking through a hole in the seat was the head of an obscene-looking, solid black dildo.

A guy, play-acting the evil villain and twirling an imaginary moustache, sat the attractive lady on the head of the dildo. Another camera clearly showed the dildo entering her cunt. Then he strapped her in. Climed down and started his machine. The woman dropped slowly on her seat a good 16 inches or more. It appeared the dildo was at least 18 inches inside her. The guy threw a leaver and she rose off the enormous phalus.

"It's a trick, Kay," I said.

"Of course it's a trick, Kevin. It's a damn good trick, though, isn't it? They want to bring it to the Munch to show it off."

"Are they trying to sell it?"

"No, he says she is a submissive exhibitionist tart, and he loves showing her off."

"Are you going to invite them then?"

"Of course, if you agree," said Kay".

"Do it, then love. It will be a blast to see."

Mum slept most of the day; it was getting dark when she came downstairs. Kay had gone to see the estate agents and left me strict instructions that her mother was to be treated better than the Queen in the short term at least. She opened the kitchen door like she was entering a Chinese opium den.

"Can I make a cup of tea, please."

"No!"

"Ohh"

"Sit down, Mum. I'll make it. Do you want the herbal muck that your daughter drinks. Or proper tea. Or we have some Chinese stuff called chrysanthemum tea and Earl Grey and boxes and boxes of other weird stuff, or I may just consider letting you have a spoonful of my Taylor's."

"You're pulling my leg, aren't you."

"Just a little, but Mum! It doesn't do to be too serious."

"Shall I get on with cooking dinner?"

"We are going to the pub for dinner."

"That's a relief; my girl is a lovely girl, and I wouldn't swap a single hair on her head."

"Yes," I interrupted, "but she can burn water."

Mum laughed. It's really my fault; I spoiled her, especially after her dad died. I tried to stop the rain from falling on her. The trouble is, my girl likes to get wet, Kevin. I made a lot of mistakes with her. My mom was an unapologetic godbotherer. Because I had to marry Kay's dad, and, to make matters worse, we were married in a registry office, she didn't speak to me until after my David died.

I brought her up on my own. My dad insisted I name my baby after my nanny. But I named her Michala after her dad's mother. It wasn't spite, Michalia, David's mother was more of a mother to me than mine ever was. She got teased about her name and her size at school, and our relationship has gone downhill ever since.

That's not fair. We have always gotten along fine when I've been me and let her get on with her life. But I think we are very much alike. She became a nurse just because it got her out of our house and away from her interfering mother as soon as possible. Then, when things were getting a little better between us, she met and married a man three times her age. I nearly managed to accept that, but when I went to meet them at the restaurant in Schofields Department Store, he was wearing a nicer dress and shoes than mine.

I burst out laughing at that point. Mum had a rueful smile on her face. That's what I should have done. I should have laughed, or at the very least smiled. I didn't, I dug an even deeper ditch. I can be such a stupid cow, I'll never know what he was like now. I think maybe I missed something--two things, actually--him and a large slice of my daughter's life.

We carried on talking for an hour, with Mum telling me about Kay's early life. About Kay's dad David. She told me about struggling to afford to send her to dance lessons, which she now regrets, and piano lessons, which she didn't regret one bit. I wish she would buy herself a piano; she is very good, as a happy, smiling, proud mother told me.