Once again, I would like to thank
Todger65
for finding my idiocies and showing them to me. Every writer needs a good editor.
The Next Step
Advising My Young Neighbor
I am retired from industry and have been for some time. My dream job was always woodworking, but until I retired it was little more than a dream. I decided that when I retired, I wanted to stay busy with something I loved. I built a shop behind my house and started working. When I started very few of the pieces I built were sold because my wife adopted them immediately. I did not have a problem with that. I did not build my shop primarily as a business. I built it as a calling. Eventually, I made enough commission pieces that word got out and the business came in.
There is a satisfaction to working with wood that is difficult to understand unless you work with it. The design of an heirloom quality piece of furniture is critical to the process of building it. If you do not start with a sound foundation in design, it does not matter how good you are at execution. I want my creations to be beautiful, functional, and able to last for generations. You do not build something like that without a plan.
I enjoy the design process. I like to work with the client to determine what they think they want and need. Then, I want to surprise them with something that exceeds those wants and needs. I do not want them to be happy with what I create for them, I want them to be ecstatic. I want to make pieces and get them out into the world for others to enjoy. My ambition is to create art with wood.
The joy in woodworking for me is when all the pieces start fitting together. The use of hand tools like chisels and planes not only improves the quality, but also provides a tactile feedback that connects me to the piece. When I start applying the finish it is like watching a child blossom into adulthood. The finished piece provides a sense of pride, and a sense of loss. When the finish sets, the piece will go out into the world. It is likely that I will never see it again.
I doubt anyone wants me to go on about getting older, but I have to say a few things. When your loved ones are gone, life has no rainbow shining on the horizon. All that seems left is that march to oblivion. I know how wonderful the feel of a woman's skin can be. The excitement of the build to intimacy followed by erotic love. What happens when that is all behind you? When there is no one that could replace what you have lost? When each day is a fight to push back the grief and find something, anything, to smile about?
I am in my mid-sixties and I am alone. My family is gone from this world. I will not share those tragedies. It is impossible for anyone to understand the grief I have carried and the sadness that permeates my life. My shop is my solace. That and my next-door neighbors.
Mark and Jill live in the house next door. They have two children that I adore and spoil every chance I get. Mark, Jill, and the kids are family to me, and I will do anything for them. They provide the light that pierces the darkness of my decline.
Mark and Jill are good people, and they work hard. They are the kind of people that you want to give a hand up to when they need it because they will make the best of it. They would never ask for help but are always grateful if they get it. You can bet that they will do anything they can to pay it back and pay it forward. A person could not ask for better neighbors, or better human beings for that matter.
Mark visits the shop as often as a young father has the time for. I always enjoy his evening visits. If left to my own devices I will often work through the night. His welcome interruptions help me maintain a normal sleep cycle. There have been many Friday or Saturday evenings that we would sit in the shop sipping a good whisky and talking. It is a chance for him to talk about the things that interest him or stress him and for me to share my somewhat welcome experience.
We generally discussed relatively safe subjects, but occasionally he will confide in me regarding his marriage. I am a huge fan of Mark and Jill and would never take a side. I always try to be the diplomat. The truth is that they have an exceptionally good marriage and Mark's venting is usually just that. He is never angry or upset with Jill. He just needs to vent a little. I am always glad to hear him out and verbally slap him upside his head if needed.
I would never admit to anyone that I often fantasized about Jill. She is a petite brunette with huge soulful blue eyes and an amazing body. A body I have thought about often when masturbating. Yes, old guys still masturbate. The main differences between an old guy like me and a young guy is physical stamina and a total lack of interest by the opposite sex. The plumbing still works, and I shoot blanks. A decision my wife and I made many years ago. It happens that young sexy women are not interested in my ammunition, regardless of the potency.
One Friday evening Mark and I were a bit deep into a good single malt whisky. I pulled out the vape and we took a few tokes. As many people are aware, a combination of the two often leads to diarrhea of the mouth and a lack of discretion regarding conversation topic. Mark had something on his mind and he finally loosened up enough to start working toward whatever it was.
He blearily looked at me, "John, do you think it is improper for married people to have sex with someone else?"
Say what! I pondered his statement for a moment, "Well, that depends. In my opinion, if one person in the marriage is having sex without their spouse's knowledge and consent, it is an act of betrayal. Marriage is a partnership between two people who love each other. You do not betray who you love. However, if a husband and wife decide that involving others in their sex life will enhance their life, I think it is perfectly fine. It comes down to trust and ground rules."
Mark looked a bit confused. Or maybe he was a tad high. He took a sip of whisky, "I guess I am a bit surprised. What do you mean by ground rules?"
"Think about it. I doubt that most married couples start out their marriage having sex with other people. It is not a normal part of their lives. Many couples talk about sex with others, often just to spice things up in the bedroom. They do not really want other people and if the opportunity presented itself, they would likely shy away from it. Most of us have too many ingrained taboos that prevent us from opening up in that way. If a couple is secure in their love and are open minded enough and a safe opportunity is presented, they still need to ensure they protect their relationship. The rules of engagement have to be established and adhered to."
Mark raised his eyebrows, "Like what?"
"First, husband and wife have to be solid in their love for each other. Second, both must enthusiastically agree to the act. Third, both must be aware of who, what, when, and how. Fourth, everything is shared. If one of you cannot handle the graphic details you do not do it. You are trying to enhance your marriage, not end it by falling for someone else. Which leads to five, it is just sex, nothing more. I am sure there are examples where love was extended to another person by husband and wife. That kind of situation must be handled carefully, or someone is going to get hurt. We are talking about sex, not love. The two often become mixed and that can lead to a lot of stupid and regrettable things."
Mark looked me in the eye, "It sounds like you might have some experience."
"I do. Deb and I had a lot of fun when we were your age and did not regret a bit of it. We also knew people who did. Sometimes they just did not click with the other sex partner. Sometimes a spouse falls in love with a sex partner and ends a marriage. In some cases that is not necessarily a bad thing. In others, it is devastating for everyone involved."
"Mark, if you don't mind me asking, why are you bringing this up?"
Mark sat in silence for a good while. He seemed to come to a decision, "Jill and I have been talking about a fantasy we have. We have only had sex with each other. I would like for her to experience more, but I do not want to lose her to another man. She finds the idea exciting, but she does not want to be with a stranger. Both of us are clueless about how we would bring it up with our married friends. We do not think any of them would be comfortable talking about it. Let alone actually following through."
"Do you have any single friends you would trust to be with her?"
Mark thought for a moment, "I can think of one guy I would trust but she would never agree. She would be too embarrassed to be around him afterward."
