Jon Major has always enjoyed the company of women. In the series
Caught!
we saw Jon as a college student whose heart was broken repeatedly by girlfriends who were unfaithful. The Major Diaries tells the story of Jon when he's older and wiser - and determined to be with as many beautiful women as possible without risking betrayal. How well does he succeed? Chapter 20 looks at the way Regina looks for a boyfriend. All characters are adults over the age of 18.
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Jacques La Fontaine maintained an office on the third floor of the building housing the Department of Modern Languages. It was a nice office, with a wall of windows and shelving that ran all the way from the floor to the ceiling, providing ample space to display his large collection of academic books. He'd just been promoted to assistant professor of French, and it was certain that he'd get tenure after one more semester. He'd worked very hard earning his doctorate and climbing the lower rungs of the academic ladder. It felt nice knowing his professional life was going this well.
It was too bad his personal life wasn't that successful. He'd worked so hard for so long, moving around the country from one university to the next in his relentless campaign to advance, that he hadn't had a girlfriend for a very long time. He'd tried online dating apps, which had paired him with such incompatible women that it made him feel like a failure as a man. One day he confined in a young graduate student, Jon Major, expressing his fear that his loneliness would never end.
He'd confided in Jon because the two shared an unusual level of camaraderie. Both of them became bilingual the same way - being raised by parents of dual nationalities. Jacques' father was French, his mother was American, and they raised him to understand both English and French. His family moved from France to Connecticut when he was 12, and Jon envied Jacques for having such intimate familiarity with both of his cultures.
Jon had spent a small amount of time visiting with his mother's family in Quebec, but he hadn't been there long enough to absorb any French-Canadian culture, and he'd spent no time in France. It was a deficit he hoped to correct after graduate school, when he planned to move to Paris. However, he'd made those plans before falling in love with Stephanie. He didn't know if she'd be willing to live in Paris with him.
"How are you, my friend?" Jacques said when Jon entered his office. They always spoke French when they were together. It was hard to find someone fluent in the language they loved so much.
"I am splendid," Jon said. "I am in love."
"Of course you are," Jacques said, shaking his head. "It's my understanding that chicks dig handsome young rich guys."
"Who happen to speak French," Jon added.
"That too," Jacques said, laughing. "Did you come to my office so you could make me feel shitty because you have a woman and I don't?"
"I am so glad you asked that question," Jon said. "I know a lady who might want to get to know you."
Jacques was quiet for a moment. "Sacre bleu," he said, finally.
Jon laughed. "Why do the French say that? The phrase 'Holy blue' makes no sense. What's holy about the color blue?"
"This is something that a master's candidate studying French language should already know," Jacques said. "Years ago, the phrase 'sacre dieu' was common. People thought it was rude saying 'Holy God,' so they switched to the word 'bleu' because it sounded almost the same, and everybody knew they were actually saying a sanitized form of 'Holy God.' Then time went by, and ignorant people - like you - forgot where the phrase came from."
"Thank you for educating me," Jon said. "I can probably get credit for writing an essay about that for one of my classes."
"You are welcome," Jacques said. "Be sure to put my name in your bibliography. It's something I can add to the list of things I show the tenure committee. But tell me about this lady. Who is she?"
"She's the mother of my girlfriend, Stephanie. Her name is Regina."
"Your girlfriend's mother? How old is she?" Jacques feared that anyone old enough to be the parent of Jon's girlfriend would be much too old for him to date.
"She is 36," Jon said.
Jacques was 33. The age difference wasn't significant. "She must have become a mother at a very young age," he said.
"She did. She had an unplanned pregnancy when she was a teenager. Most of her life has been devoted to being a single mother. Now that Stephanie is an adult, Regina finally has time for herself."
It sounded too good to be true. "I'll bet you're about to tell me she has a very nice personality," Jacques said.
Jon laughed. "Actually, she is one of the most beautiful women I know. Would you like to see a picture?" Jon got out his cellphone and pulled up the photo he'd taken of Regina and Stephanie side-by-side on the day of Stephanie's graduation.
"Sacre bleu!" Jacques said. "This is her and your girlfriend?"
"Obviously," Jon said.
"Regina is beautiful."
"I believe I already said that."
"What kind of person is she?"
"She worries too much about her daughter. She works too hard at her job as a nurse. She pretends that she isn't profoundly uncomfortable around the man who's stolen her daughter away. That would be me. She feels guilty for bringing a child into the world when she was an unmarried teenager not ready for that much responsibility. She feels profoundly grateful to her parents for helping her survive that period of her life. You know. Typical American woman."
"She looks exactly like her daughter," Jacques said.
"I'd advise you not to mention that," Jon said. "When I told her that, she accused me of trying to bullshit her."
"Oh. Thanks for the warning. I understand why she might think someone like you must be bullshitting her," Jacques said.
"Sacre bleu," Jon said.
Jacques kept looking at the photo. It told him that Regina was beautiful, but it said nothing else. Dating apps had connected him to several beautiful women who turned out to be completely unsuitable. He'd failed at finding love so many times Jacques was beginning to feel like he was somehow damaged. He felt defeated.
"So, shall we arrange a meeting?" Jon asked.