The Long Wait 4

Trent stood behind the woman being served at the post office counter.

"Your name?" asked the assistant.

"Gabriele Cracknel."

Trent froze and felt the blood drain from his face.

"Gabriele?" he said.

The woman turned her head to look at him questioningly.

"Yes?"

There was a pause as they stared at each other then with a smothered cry she said, "Trent, Trent Lawson?"

"Yes, Gabriele Wear that was?"

"Yes."

"Your parcel madam," the assistant said, "sign here please."

With a look of confusion on her face Gabriele turned away, signed the proffered document, and picking up her parcel said to Trent, "I'll wait outside."

Trent stepped up to the counter feeling so confused he forgot what he'd come in for.

"Yes?" the assistant asked with a touch of impatience.

"Er...I'd like...er...six fifty cent stamps please."

The assistant tore off the stamps and said, "That'll be three dollars."

Trent fumbled with his wallet and taking out a five dollar note, placed it on the counter and picking up the stamps started to walk away.

"Your change," the assistant called after him.

"What? Oh yes...er...thanks."

As he left the assistant looked at the next customer and shrugged as if to say, "That guy is lost in space somewhere."

The space Trent was lost in was that of his own memories that stretched back over forty years and more, years suddenly dragged to the surface in that moment of seeing Gabriele.

* * * * * * * *

She stood waiting for him in the shade of the post office entrance. Clearly they did not know how to greet each other. A tentative move to kiss was abandoned before it had hardly begun. This was followed by an attempt to shake hands that was fumbled and also abandoned.

"You...er...what are you doing here?" Gabriele asked in a tremulous voice.

"Passing through."

"Oh, passing through."

"Yes, and you?"

"I live here."

"Ah, so you've moved from..."

"Yes, about four years ago."

"How have you been keeping?"

"Recently?"

"Yes."

"Oh, not so bad, just a touch of arthritis, mustn't grumble. And you?"

"Okay; had a knee reconstruction three years ago, but apart from that...you know. And you're hus..." he couldn't bring himself to say the word so he said, "Stan."

"He died."

"Oh, sorry." He wasn't the least bit sorry since he had wished Stan Cracknel dead for over forty years.

"Thanks; it's been a long time."

"Yes."

"Just passing through then?"

"Yes, I'm taking a retirement trip...seeing the country."

"Ah...your wife with you?"

"I didn't know you knew I got married."

"Oh, word gets around; is she...?"

"No, we split up a long time ago."

"Sorry to hear that."

Trent shrugged, "Everybody is doing it these days."

"Yes, I suppose so. Are you staying here long?"

"Depends on how I feel, I'm a free agent these days."

"It's a nice place...the beach...the hills...and...look we're in the way here, do you fancy a cup of tea?"

"If you've got the time; is there somewhere decent was can..."

"I thought my place, it's quite near here."

"Oh, all right, my vehicle is just over there, we can drive there."

He pointed to a top of the range four wheel drive off-road vehicle.

Gabriele gasped, "My God, you must have done well for yourself."

"Not too bad, but it all comes at a price," he said significantly.

"Yes I suppose so, but we all have to live with the consequences of our decisions and actions."

"Mmm, and the decisions and actions of others," Trent said meaningfully.

Gabriele made no response to this. They went to Trent's vehicle and he handed her into the front seat.

"Still the gentleman," Gabriele commented.

"Not fashionable these days, is it."

"With some it's never been fashionable, Trent."

They drove off to Gabriele's place.

* * * * * * * *

Gabriele's place proved to be a small cottage in a street that ended at the sea front.

"Nice," Trent said.

"Yes, the best place I've ever lived in."

They entered the cottage and Trent noted that although the place was impeccably clean and tidy, most of the furniture looked as if it had seen better days.

They went into the kitchen and Trent seated himself at the table. Beyond the mere fact of recognition he'd hardly taken in any details of Gabriele's appearance; now he said somewhat disingenuously, "You seem to have worn well Gabriele."

She indicated the loose dress she was wearing that extended from neck to mid calf, and smiling ruefully said, "This covers up the battle scars."

"Battle scars?"

"Yes, you know life; the older you get the more you need to cover up."

She looked appraisingly at Trent. He was wearing shorts and a shirt, and apart from his grey hair and the lines round his eyes, he looked good for his sixty years.

"You're looking good Trent, it was easy to recognize you. Do you think I've changed much?"

He looked at her. If she had not spoken her name in the post office he might never have recognized her. She had been a slim and very attractive girl when he had known her all those years ago and he had thought her the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. It was that image he had carried in his memory over all the years.

The dress may have covered up the "battle scars," but it did not hide the fact that she had put on a lot of weight. Her face looked lined and flesh hung loosely under her chin

"You look fine," he lied.

Gabrielle was tea making but she turned and looked at him, "Liar, you know I look terrible."

Trent knew he should protest that she looked good, but it would only compound his first lie, so he changed the subject.

"You said that Stan died; how long ago?"

"Ten years."

"Ten years! A bit young wasn't it, what did he die of?"

"Drink mostly; that and the complications that went with it."

* * * * * * * *

Trent had a vision of that warm summer night and Stan standing outside the pub with a glass of beer in his hand. Trent had just left Gabriele who had said she must "get in early," because she was on night duty at the hospital. That had been happening a lot lately, but now he knew why.

He saw Gabriele approach Stan. They had kissed and then laughed. Whether it was his imagination or not he believed they were laughing at the way she had got rid of him.

He went home feeling humiliated.

He had met Gabriel when she had the seat next to him at a symphony concert. It was difficult to find a girl who shared that sort of thing, and they had got talking. Afterwards he had escorted her to the nurses' home where she lived, and they had made a date to go together to another concert.

Trent thought he was in paradise, dating this lovely girl. For several months they went out together and then came that time; "I'm on night duty," "I've got the afternoon shift," "I can't make it on Sunday afternoon."

Trent wondered why these things had arisen now when they had not been obstacles to their going out before.

On that summer night he knew why.

He'd had one last meeting with Gabriele, grudgingly agreed to on her part. During this meeting he had further humiliated himself by asking her why she was dropping him for Cracknel.

He had known Cracknel at high school, a foul mouthed lout and bully, and that Gabriele had dropped him for Cracknel was to add to his mortification.

It might be assumed that no further humiliation could be heaped on Trent, but Gabriele managed it.

"Because you're so boring," she replied to his question, "Why Cracknel?"

With those words she walked away; these were her last words he remembered.

* * * * * * * *

"There you are, milk and no sugar, that's right isn't it?"

"You remember?"

"Yes, I remember a lot of things about you."

"Do you? I should have thought I'd have been better forgotten."

Gabriele did not pursue this, and said, "So you split up with your wife."

"Yes, about twenty years ago."

"Twenty years! What happened?"

"Don't you know?"

"How should I know I didn't see you again after that time you harassed me about Stan."

"Memory Gabriele...memory; you were my first love and as it happens, my only love. I couldn't give Vivian the love she needed and so..."

"You're blaming me?"

"No, just telling you how it was. You remember our last meeting then?"

"Of course."

"Do you remember the last words you spoke to me?"

"No not in detail, why, do you?"

"Yes."

"Go on then, what were they?"

"Because you're so boring."

Gabriele's pasty face reddened.

"Did I say that?"

"Yes, that's why you dropped me for Cracknel."

"But there was more too it than that Trent."

"Was there; like what?"

"Do we need to dig up the past, Trent?" Gabriele said in a pleading tone of voice.

"Gabriele, I never expected to meet you again, but all these years I've wondered about you and Cracknel, so why not tell me what more there was too it?"

Gabriele seemed to come to a resolution.

"All right, if you really want to know; in the first place he had more money than you."

Of all the reasons Gabriele might have given this was one that Trent had never considered, yet now he saw it should have been obvious.

Cracknel was a builder's labourer and at eighteen he was earning the full labourer's wage. Many of his peers were working in low paid apprenticeships or were pursuing further studies, with little money.

Trent had been one of the latter. Compared to him Cracknel was flush with money. It was true that he had reached the maximum wage he would ever earn as a labourer, but he lost no opportunity to display his relative wealth among his peers.

Gabriele was still speaking, "He could afford to buy me drinks, and he had a motorbike and could take me places. We went dancing and he was a lot of fun and I wanted fun."

"But I thought you liked the concerts we went to and..."

"I did, but I wanted more."

"But Cracknel wouldn't have taken you to concerts."

"No, but I could go to concerts on my own or with girl friends, I didn't need you or him for that."

"So that's how it was?"

"Yes, but that wasn't all, you've opened the can of worms so you might as well know the lot. He did something that you wouldn't do."

"Which was?"

"He fucked me." "Yes, I knew."

"How did you know."

"How many months pregnant were you when he met you as a blushing bride at the altar?"

"There's no need to be sarcastic Trent."

"How many?"

"Three months."

Trent shrugged, "A guy like Cracknel wouldn't splash out his money for no return."

"Well for God's sake Trent, you wouldn't fuck me."

Trent replied quietly and slowly.

"It wasn't that I didn't want to, I told you that. I was studying; working for the future, a future I thought we might have together, so I wasn't going to risk you getting pregnant and wrecking that future with premature marriage."

"There was contraception, we could have..."

"You know damned well Gabriele that it wasn't as safe back then as it is now -- it's not even one hundred percent safe now. Did Cracknel use contraception?"

"No."

"Did you?"

"No, but he made me feel like a real woman and not some idealized doll. He said that his women took it raw or not at all."

Trent smiled and said, "And so they lived happily ever after."

"That's a bloody rotten thing to say Trent. I've told you how he died, and look at me...look at what he did to me. Six kids and at sixty I look nearer seventy or older."

"So it's all Cracknel's fault?"

She said nothing so Trent went on, "Why didn't you leave him?"

"By the time I finally concluded I was married to a bullying bastard and a drunk I'd got half the kids, how could I leave him? It's easy for you to say why didn't you leave him, but look at you, obviously prosperous and...

"Well, as you said earlier," Trent interrupted, we all have to live with the consequences of our decisions and actions."

Gabriele said nothing and Trent went on, "Well, it's been a long wait Gabriele, but now I know why you dropped me for Cracknel; how does it go, money, drinks, a motorbike, dancing, fun and getting fucked."

"For Gods sake Trent," Gabriele said tearfully, "I was eighteen, I didn't really know what I wanted; how many of us do at that age, and Stan was so much..."

"Fun, yes you said that before. I'd better be going. Thanks for the tea."

He rose and Gabriele went to him saying, "Trent, I've never forgotten you. I know I made a bad mistake, but you said that I was the love of your life, so couldn't we...you know, forgive?"

He looked at her; there was something pathetic about her that for a moment made him pity her.

"Yes, I think I can forgive you now."

"Where are you staying?" Gabriele asked.

"Oh, I've got the vehicle set up for sleeping in."

"You could stay here," she said enticingly, "I've got a spare bedroom and you'd be more comfortable."

Trent gazed at her for a few moments, an enigmatic smile on his lips.

"We could get to know each other again," Gabriele said encouragingly.

"Yes...yes...I suppose we could; thanks Gabriele, I'll accept your offer."

"Wonderful Trent, it'll be like the old days when we went out together."

"And before you told me I was boring," Trent thought, but he kept the thought to himself."

* * * * * * * *

Gabriele went to considerable trouble in preparing the evening meal for them, even adding candle light.

After dinner talk got around to the cottage and how Gabriel had come to acquire it.

"Oh, when Stan died he left virtually nothing, whatever he had went on booze. Once the kids were old enough I went back to nursing, mostly night shift, and I put away a bit of money."

"After Stan's death I sold the house; I didn't get much out of it because the mortgage was nowhere near paid, but I got together what money I had and took out a mortgage on this place. I'm still working part time at the old people's place here, so I manage to keep going."

"And your children?"

"Oh, all grown up and gone."

"And do you see much of them?"

"No, they've got their own lives, such as they are, and don't bother with me."

"That's sad."

"No, not really; if they did visit it'd only be to ask me for money so I'm glad they stay away."

For a while Trent seemed lost in thought. Gabriele looked at him as if trying to discern his thoughts.

Coming out of his revere Trent said, "You know, I think I might stay around here for a while, I've been on the move for some time so a break from traveling would be good for a change."

"You could stay here Trent," Gabriel said eagerly, "I'd make you very comfortable; you know I'd do anything for you."

"Would you" Trent said, "that's very kind of you, but why would you do anything for me."

"To make up for the past, Trent; you might even think about settling down here permanently."

"With you?"

"If that's what you wanted Trent; you know, in my heart I've always loved you."

"Even when you were having fun with Cracknel?"

"Trent, I've explained that and..."

"Yes...yes...so you have Gabriele."

"We could have fun together Trent, I'm not really past it you know."

"Not past what?"

"Past...past letting a man have a bit of fun with..."

"You mean you're not past letting a man fuck you."

"You didn't have to put it so crudely Trent, but yes, I'm still...still..."

"Willing and able?"

"Yes."

"And if I stopped here with you, you'd be willing and able?"

"I'd do anything you wanted me to, Trent," she said ardently.

"What man could refuse an offer like that?" Trent grinned. "All right, I'll stay."

"Oh Trent...Trent, you'll never regret it. It'll be like it could have been between us. It'll be like a new life for both us, it really will."

"I'm sure it will," Trent said, "do we start on our new life right away?"

"Yes darling, yes."

"Then I'd better bring in a few things from my vehicle."

* * * * * * * *

In bed that night Trent looked down at Gabriele's naked body. She had been right about the battle scars: the knots of varicose veins on her legs; the marks of childbirth on her thighs and the distended and wrinkled stomach. Her flaccid breasts drooped dispiritedly so that they might almost have reached her waist had she been standing.

Trent had not had a woman for a long time and so he was geared up for sex -- sex with almost any woman.

Gabriele fawned over his penis, sucking and licking it until he almost came, and then she leapt across him as he lay on his back and pumped her vagina up and down on his length, until with Gabriele, screaming and weeping, he shot his sperm into her.

He hid the revulsion he felt from her and waited patiently for her to remove herself from him.

When she was lying beside him she kept regaling him with how life would be wonderful for both of them, how much she loved him and how happy she would make him.

By dint of pressing one of her nipples to his mouth she got him to suck it. She worked on his penis until it stood erect again and this time he lay over her and after a long time he managed to come gain.

After that they slept, and for Gabriele it was the sleep of contentment. She had her man, a man once poor but now obviously well heeled. The years of financial struggle were over.

Trent lay awake for some time remembering how this woman beside him had been; the most beautiful he had ever known. He glanced down at her sleeping beside him and sighed.

* * * * * * * *

Gabriele awoke in the morning to find that Trent had left her side, but the bed was redolent of their couplings -- the smell, the patches of sperm and female fluid on the under sheet.

She smiled and stretched. "Yes, this is how it's going to be from now on," she thought.

Covering her nakedness with a dressing gown she padded bare foot in search of Trent, wondering if like Stan he was a morning person and would want to take her on the kitchen table.

It was on the kitchen table she found the envelope containing a letter and some bank notes.

"Well Gabriele," the letter read, "as I said, it's been a long wait, but at last I know why you left me for that heap of garbage Cracknel."

"Enclosed is some money; I'm sure it's not as much as you expected to get out of me eventually, but it covers the service you rendered me last night. I'm sorry there was no motorbike or dancing, and I didn't even buy you a drink, but that's life, and your life has been one you chose for yourself."

"You do of course have the consolation of having been fucked."

"Among all the other humiliations you heaped on me over your liaison with Cracknel the most devastating one was your final words, 'Because you're so boring.'"

To be fair, you may have been right, but since you seemed to find me so interesting yesterday I must conclude that I've improved over the years."

"Because years ago you were so frank with me, I feel, however belatedly, I must return the compliment now."

"You are an ugly and revolting old woman not even worth the money I have left you, and to say that at sixty you look nearly seventy is untrue, you look nearer eighty."

"I feel now I can truly forgive you, especially since I know what a lousy life you've had."

"My hope and prayer for you is that your life will continue as it has been for the past forty years."

"Goodbye 'Love of my life,' I shall not pass this way again."

"It's been a long wait."

"Trent."

Gabriele looked down at the money he had left; there were two five dollar notes.

Trent had left Gabriele's place quietly in the early hours of the morning. Now he was far away parked in a camp site. He was taking a shower, washing away the smell of Gabriele; a smile on his face.