The Lark

Ladies, does your husband have a long-term friend who's a great guy, very likeable, but sometimes just a little, oh, wilder than you and your man? Mine sure does. Luke's my husband - a really terrific guy, just right for me, solid as a rock with great perspective on things and is crazy about me. His friend from his high school days is Bill, like I said, great guy, just tends to revert to being back in high school or something akin to that at times, especially when there are copious adult beverages involved.

You've seen the YouTube things with the guys whose parting words are "Hey, watch this!"? Yeah, if that kind of stupid (you know, ride the snowmobile onto the frozen lake, light off too many fireworks at once, lose control of the new drone toy, try to fix the electrical thing without turning off the power - that kind of stuff) happened in my Luke's life, you can bet that Bill would be close by. Separately, they both lead staid lives, are community pillars and such - together, they fall into the roles they're comfortable with - Bill daring and Luke following along. They definitely bear close watching, as they bring out the little boy in each other far too easily.

Sort of thankfully, they don't get together all that often. Bill's just a long-time (as in they went to school together, years before I entered the scene) friend that Luke still goes hunting with a couple of times a season, maybe sees one way or another once a year beside that. Fortunately, they are obsessive about being safe while hunting (thank goodness), saving the alcohol for the end of the day and treating the weaponry especially respectfully. It does Luke good to get out of his office job and work environment and into the woods, I can tell - he's so much more relaxed and just attuned to the good parts of life afterwards. In turn, I get to the mountains a couple of hours away for a weekend with my own friends once in the spring, once in the fall, each year - we do the bed and breakfast thing, eat at trendy little village places, rock on the porch, and get silly drinking wine and reminiscing. I think it's the same kind of thing with Luke and Bill hunting.

Anyway, last month - summertime and hot - Bill came into town just to visit for the weekend. We've got no kids at home - they've flown the nest, so there's plenty of room for guests. Bill went through a surprise (to us, and we found out later to him as well) divorce in the spring. Thankfully, it was speedy and uncontested and wrapped up much faster than most of those things. His wife just split, looking for something Bill couldn't provide, free spirit seeking her bliss, I guess. Luke and Bill had kept occasionally in touch during that, but we hadn't actually seen Bill since the previous fall, so it was a good time for us to offer some support if he needed it, and for him to get away from his own job and life and such, at least for a little time.

Part of me resented Bill's arrival, since I'd finally given in to the temptation to get my pubic area waxed - something Luke had hinted he'd like but never pressed. I'd had an appointment for it on Thursday, and when Luke announced on Wednesday that Bill was coming, I decided what the heck, to go on through with it, just to keep it for a surprise for Luke, once Bill had left. This isn't about the waxing, but yes, it hurt some, and yes, it was embarrassing, since I'd gone the whole way with it, but the attendant was nonplussed and it finally seemed no big deal by the time it was done. Fortunately, the pain was temporary - not much worse than tweezing eyebrows, and it was quickly soothed away by the balms the spa provided. So, Bill arrived on Friday, planning on staying until Sunday afternoon, and the three of us grilled outside, drank some beer, took a swim in our pool. I wanted to give the guys some guy-time, in case Bill needed to vent to Luke, so I excused myself, cleaned up the kitchen things, and went to bed, managing to finish a mystery novel before dozing off to sleep sometime later.

I awoke to Luke by my side as always, the covers all kicked off as usual. His body looking good, naked, all asleep and detumesced as well. I rolled over to get up and woke him up unintentionally, but it was ok. We got up, at our normal Saturday 7 a.m. or so, cleaned up, and I ventured out to make coffee and breakfast for the guys. Bill appeared soon after I got to the kitchen, while Luke was still finishing showering and such. He was chipper, looking good as usual in shorts and polo shirt, barefoot at his about 5'9" height. He's stayed in what appears to be good shape over the years, similar to my Luke who has admittedly gained only 10 pounds or so since we married over two decades ago. Luke's a bit taller but not much, and more brunette. Bill's blonde with blue eyes. Neither one's a movie star, but they're both very presentable and, like all guys, they get better looking when you get to know them, I think. They also capitalize on what they've got by taking care of themselves, dressing well, and usually having a pretty good time of it.

Luke works at staying in shape. I don't know what Bill does for exercise, but Luke's looking good has kept me from letting myself go as much as most of my fellow school teachers have. I'm still wearing some very old favorite clothes, and measure in at 36C (bigger since the kids, and with the natural, but not any more than the required - thanks - to - childbirth, amount of sag) - 28 - 38. Yes, I'd like to reduce that 28 and that 38, and I keep aiming at doing that, which probably keeps them from getting worse, at least - but those are honest numbers, and Luke is continually complimentary about my body, so I think I'm doing ok, all considered.

Anyway, I was making breakfast, in loose gym shorts and a tank top and flip-flops, not thinking much about my appearance. Bill was cheerful and looking good, in a Hawaiian shirt and loose knit gym shorts, and the coffee was brewing and I was puttering about getting breakfast rolls heated up. I had bent over to get a pan out of a drawer and as I stood back up, I saw that Bill had stopped talking and was pretty obviously looking down my top, which was loose enough that I realized I might have just shown him more than I'd intended - more at least, but I didn't know just how much. He saw me look at him, knew he was busted, and blushed, then laughed genially and said, "Sorry - I couldn't help it. And thanks - nicest morning greeting I've had in I don't know when."

I didn't know quite how to respond - was he flirting, or just making the best of my catching him looking? "Think nothing of it," I said, trying to be hospitable but not encouraging.

"That might be hard . . . uh, to do," he answered, realizing halfway through that his use of 'hard' was going to be problematic.

It was my turn to laugh, at his expense, and I said, "Well, that would be your problem. I think the rolls are about done. Oh, and here's Luke, right on time!"

Luke came in, dressed in only his pajama bottoms - pajama bottoms that he hadn't worn to bed, as I'd noticed he was naked as usual when we woke up. Hmmm. OK, he knew I thought he was sexy in them, and I could see the faint protrusion that was his soft cock when he walked in them, and that was a nice reminder of things, but I wasn't quite sure why today, why now, when Bill was here. Oh, well. It must be just comfortable, I thought.

We all shared a nice breakfast, and the rolls were fine and just enough for us. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, with Luke and Bill spending most of it catching up in the morning at our place, then their playing an afternoon round of golf and making sure they didn't miss the 19th hole. They called me, and I joined them at the golf course for dinner, after. It was nice, nothing very special, just burgers in the golf club bar with TVs turned to sports stations. Luke and I drove back home in one car, Bill in the other, and once there we adjourned to the den with wine for me, something brown with ice for each of them. No one was drunk, but after beers with the burgers, we were all just relaxed, being friendly.

Luke turned on the TV to the news channel. Luke and I were sitting on one couch, next to each other, and across the coffee table was Bill on the facing couch, the TV off to our right, his left, the couple of other chairs we usually watched from off to Luke's and my left. The national news was all the usual political and international maneuvering bullshit, and then the story shifted to someplace way up north, where apparently two bank robbers had been apprehended. Nothing newsy about that, but then they interviewed one of the perps (where was his head - no lawyer present?! what a dufus!!).

It turned out that the two guys were just two friends who decided that they'd always wanted to do something really out there, like rob a bank, Bonnie and Clyde style, and so they did. Naturally, they didn't think through it, and naturally, they were caught within a day. This guy, he says they only did it "on a lark," whatever that meant to him. To bolster his case, it turns out the guys actually mailed the money back to the bank the same day they took it, corroborated by the bank when they got it the day after the arrest. Nice gesture, but I doubt that the court is going to see the humor in their lark!

The guys hooted at that, and I laughed, but sort of like I didn't get it, which I didn't.

"Sounds like he's just deranged, or challenged or something," I said.

"No, no - I totally get it!" Bill chimed in, and Luke chortled his agreement.

"What do you mean?!" I asked, not believing that there was anything to get, other than total stupidity.

"OK, maybe it's just a guy thing," Bill said. "But I can dig that somebody just has an urge to go way off the reservation, to do something outrageous. It may be testosterone, but somehow it's there. And, without any data or studies to back me up, I'll betcha that that's a pretty universal male imperative, and that if we really, really understood things, we'd know that without it, humanity never would have gotten this far."

"Really?!" I said, still incredulous. I know I've felt a similar urge - just to let go and let it all hang out and not worry about being all proper - just for a little bit, of course. But, I wasn't about to admit to any of that right then, and from Bill's remark, he didn't think women necessarily shared that "male imperative" thing.

"Babe, I'm afraid I gotta agree - he's got something there." My Luke, my steady, provider extraordinaire Luke said!

"Except," Bill continued, "if it was up to me, I'd have picked something not as stupid as just criminal, and more fun - like, say, sexual - if I were going for it!"

"Oh yeah!" Luke chimed in, and the two mimed high fives to each other across the table, grinning with all the maturity of the twelve year olds that they seemed to be right then.

I wasn't sure I'd heard right. Luke and Bill had this primal male urge to go wacko, and they considered it as harmless as a lark of some sort, and they wanted to go wacko sex-wise?! I needed a shrink, and fast!

"OK," I said, wanting to get this all out on the table, since it was freaking me out a bit and since it was a side of my man I didn't know existed for anyone, much less for him! "So, both of you have this subliminal desire to go do something to just do something as a lark - a lark that's outlandish, and you'd pick to do it in a sexual way, just to feed some urge to go crazy? I mean, to hell with the consequences?? I'm not sure I like the sounds of that at all, Luke!"

"OK, not to hell with the consequences, but don't you ever, ever, get a nutty idea, like, say, going sky-diving - and then you think through it and you know it's maybe not a good idea or just not you, or that it's probably scary anyhow maybe, so you never follow through. And yet, if you think about it, someday, when you're 80 or so, you might look back and think, 'I wish I'd gone ahead and gone sky-diving!'?"

"Ah, yeah, I can see that, but what's this sexual thing? Do we need to talk or something? It sounds like you two will be off to the massage parlor in a minute!" I asked, pretty much challenging him to defend what I thought/think is a pretty damned good sex life, thank you very much.

"Naw, babe - we're just talking trash here, right, Bill?"

"Well..." Bill took his time answering. "I think the sky-diving analogy is a good one. So, if there is something that all three of us could come up with, sexually, that we'd regret never having done if we get old and look back, what would it be? Think about it. Like, say, each of us wanted to spank someone - and let me say that I pick that because I have NO interest in spanking or being spanked, just not my thing, but just as an example. So that if we, like, each made a list of three things, and spanking came up on all three of our lists, then we could, you know, facilitate or something. And I'll bet each of us can come up with at least three things - one of which all three of us might want to try sometime. If not, it'd be fun hearing what's on our lists. If you want me to exit stage left at this point, let me know, and I'll understand, but we're friends and I'll bet it would be a hoot to just make the lists!"

"Obviously, a threesome is, well, obviously." Luke blurted out, not realizing until he'd said it what it could mean.

"Yeah, a threesome," Bill said. "And of course, a foursome, and a fivesome, and . . . "and he laughed at his joke, so we'd think that he wasn't really wanting to have some massive orgy thing. Not really. Uh huh, sure.

"So, babe, have you ever wanted a threesome?" Luke asked. So much for making out a list. I was a little relieved at that, because I had no real frustrated fantasies and didn't know what I'd put on any such list anyway, and I sure didn't want to share three secrets with these two guys. I mean, Dang, this was way more information than I wanted to give out, and had never really thought all that much about it anyway. I decided to fight back with humor as well.

"Oh, well, I'll admit that I do have this fantasy about Angela Jolie and Kim Kardashian and me, going at it nonstop!"

It took a beat for the guys to get that I was joking as well, and the three of us laughed together for a minute, then went silent.

"You know what I mean," Luke persisted.

"Are you talking about getting me and some girl into bed with you? Not likely, and certainly not a fantasy of mine!"

"Doesn't need to be two females," Luke said quietly, and suddenly it was out there.

Bill wasn't objecting, more like letting this thing develop. I'd never really seriously considered doing anything like that, but I will admit that there was this porn movie that Luke brought home, and we watched it together and sort of heavy petted our way through it, not fucking more in order to keep watching it than anything else - until it was over, then we had a fun time! Anyway, the hottest part of the thing was when these two guys ended up getting it on with a woman together. She got royally screwed in a good way, and her reactions were either very good acting or she really was having a good time. She always had a cock to play with while the other was inside her in one end or the other, or both. And of course, it being porn, they were prodigious cocks that looked too big for her, and being porn of course, which she enthusiastically proved to be a wrong expectation. I remembered that scene, and Luke doesn't know it, but every once in a while, when he's out, I'll dig out that DVD and fast forward to that scene and it always adds a bit of a sizzle to my masturbatory sessions.

"Ah, NOW I know what you mean. Have you guys been talking about this? Is this a setup?" I said in my most shocked, shocked tone.

"No, no!" Luke claimed. "But, now that I think about it, we all know each other and we're all friends, and unless Bill wants to share something, we're all disease-free (and Bill knows that if he lied about this part, I'd hunt him down, 'cause friends wouldn't do that to friends), and you're on the pill, and if there's any guy in the world that I'd let see me sporting wood, it's Bill. And I know Bill thinks you're hot, partly because you are, and partly because I've seen him looking at you time to time over the years.

"The more I think about it, the more it fits," Luke continued. "We have a couple of drinks to relax, we take a dip in the pool withOUT our suits for a change, and we just let things happen. If nothing happens, and, babe, you're really the one in control of that, then when we're 80, we can at least look back at the time we went skinny dipping with another guy one night long ago. And maybe when we're 80, we'll still be getting turned on by remembering that one crazy lark that we did that long ago that we never regretted!"

"Bravo!" Bill said, "Impeccable logic - naturally, I'm in, so it's up to you, Linda. One time thing - oh, and yes, I'm clean as a whistle, got checked when Lisa left me, just in case, and swore off sex for a year on the advice of my shrink - I think he'd make allowances for this one slip-up in that plan, if I ever let on, that is. And, beyond the three of us, I swear, I'll never let on to anyone - priest, shrink, whoever. You're definitely hot and getting it on with you with Luke's ok would be a fantasy I could take to the grave. Oh, and Luke's right - you're really the one in power in this, but if any of us decides that he or she wants to quit, we all agree to quit, no arguments, no questions, no recriminations."

"I can't believe I'm actually sitting here and we're discussing this. I mean, talking with my husband about getting naked in front of another man is crazy enough, but having a threesome, with the other guy involved in the conversation yet, as if this were just a menu selection in a restaurant or something!" That's what I said, indignantly. What I thought was that Bill and Luke were making more sense than I could rebut without resorting to some Victorian "that's not the way we do things" reproach, and that Bill was looking pretty good, like he always did, but now pretty good in a "is that the outline of a kosher dill I see in those shorts or are you just happy to see me" kind of way. And, in fact, those knit shorts were tight against his crotch, the way he was sitting, and there was a sizable package, there, although I couldn't really make out any contours beyond what my imagination was manufacturing.

I realized I was thinking about his dick, and I looked up, and just like I'd caught Bill checking out my cleavage earlier, this time he caught me checking out his crotch! He grinned at me, and I knew that he knew that I knew, and all that. I blushed, which he didn't miss, and Luke did, since he and I were facing Bill, not each other at the time.

"Well," Luke said, tiring of the debate, I guessed, and ready to move on, preferably not giving me a chance to object, "How about if I get us all something to drink, and we can adjourn to the deck - it's dark now, and the neighbors can't see over our fence anyway, so it'll be fun!"

And with that, he got up, and sure enough, I let my moment of opportunity to stop the whole thing right there pass, and I excused myself to the bathroom.

Once on my own, I had the time to think about it without the conversation moving on. On the one hand, threesomes with friends was indeed NOT the way we did things. On the other hand, yes, there probably was some logic to the do-it-now-before-you-can't-anymore, maybe especially with the guys, considering the eventual onset of age taking its toll on the testosterone. And yes, that DVD did make it look like a lot of fun, and yes, I did like Bill, clown that he could be at times, and I knew that he had really been a true friend of Luke's for such a long time that he wouldn't do anything to mess that up. Then, if I went along, just what would happen? Luke has never shown a propensity toward B&D or S&M or really anything very kinky, so I wasn't afraid I'd get tied up and hurt or something - if that was on their minds, they could have overpowered me long ago, or moments ago, and had their ways.