Notes: This chapter, written in the POV (point of view) of the mother will retell the events found in Ch.01 and Ch.02. However, she will also describe an event that happens to her afterward, which isn't found in either of the above chapters.
*Ch. 03 does not have incest. Ch. 04 WILL have incest.
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Angie's Perspective
My name is Angela and I have been married to my husband, Daniel for close to 25 years. It has been a long marriage, but it was not a happy one. It wasn't the worst marriage ever in the history of mankind, though. For starters, I was never physically or sexually abused by him. However, he always tried to control me, usually through the use of put-downs. I stayed with him because of my kids. I didn't want them to have a broken home. Yes, I have made my own mistakes, but I don't regret staying for them. I've sometimes regretted marrying the man but I've never regretted having the kids that I love so much.
My husband started cheating when our son was just two years old. When I first confronted him on it, he told me that he was just having fun and he wouldn't do it again. When I caught him a second time, he said that he was still young and didn't want to waste the time. The women meant nothing to him, apparently.
I began to believe that his cheating might have been because of me. Because he had always been insecure about himself, he wanted to prove to others that he was someone important. He enjoyed putting this faΓ§ade to everyone because of the 'respect' he was given. I didn't respect him though. There were times when he tried so hard to impress me, but it couldn't be done and he hated me for that. It wasn't that I didn't support him - I did - but he wanted me to worship him. I couldn't do it, so he must have given up on me. He even told me one time during an argument that I could go find another man to sleep with, just as long as he doesn't find out about it! I was never a cheater and I wasn't going to start! I told him that.
Still, I wasn't ready to break the family up yet. I naively hoped that he'd eventually change, but he never would. In fact, he even became cockier as he met more women and made more money.
Eventually, it got to the point that I told him that I wanted a divorce but he accused me of marrying him for immigration purposes and 'trying to break up a happy home'. I was hurt, but I was also guilty.
It was true that I really needed to stay in the country because my student visa was about to expire. I couldn't risk applying for another visa and have them reject me. I had sacrificed everything to come over here and I didn't want to go back to my home country empty handed. Back home, we were very poor, barely able to make ends meet. Our living space was a joke. It was basically the size of a small apartment and since we shared it together with my siblings, as much as four people were there. When we came over here, the money was surprisingly able to work harder for us. Marriage would have been a convenient excuse to stay here.
That being said, I married him because I wanted to start a family of my own. I came from a broken family myself and I wanted to break that cycle. Most importantly, he seemed to be the most suitable of the men that I met over here. Though he was short and not the best looking, we really got along. He was a great conversationalist. And while he wasn't rich or wealthy by any means, he was still willing to be generous. I wasn't looking to leech off him though. I just needed him to help start a family with me. In addition, he seemed to love his mom very much because he lived with her when he could've moved out like his other brothers. I figured that he couldn't be a bad choice.
After marriage, I had my siblings come over here too, so that they could avoid the poor living conditions. The good news was that they were able to adapt to their new life fairly well. The bad news was that after they had their own families, there was a large, complicated feud which seriously damaged our family's cohesion. One terrible trait of my family was their stubbornness. Unlike my husband's family, this was the opposite. Any feud was resolved promptly.
Since I didn't want this family to break up like mine did, I had to fight to keep it together. I had to prove him wrong. I wasn't marrying him for reasons other than love. In addition, our children were young and I'd struggle as a single mom. I was scared to see the world like this. Ironically, as I later found out, staying together with him resulted in me raising our two kids alone, for the most part because he never wanted to bond with any of us. He primarily kept his money so that he could go out and party with his friends.
Time after time, I wondered if his cheating had to do with me. Maybe I pushed him away. Maybe I didn't support him enough. There was also the time when I really wanted a second child, preferably a son this time, but he didn't. I believed wrongly that he could change his mind. So, I lied about being on birth control.
After I became pregnant again, he didn't take the whole situation too well initially, but he never once demanded for an abortion of some sort. I thought we reconciled our differences; however, after my son was born, I discovered that he was cheating! The first hint was that he always seemed too tired to have sex. The confirmation was when I accidentally overheard his voicemail messages from another woman. Regardless, I learned my lesson. I had a tubectomy shortly afterward, so there would be no more 'unexpected' kids.
I've tried a lot to get him to treat me better. Talking to him many times about it didn't work and I've tried pretending that he wasn't cheating. No matter what I did, it didn't seem to work. There was even a short period of time when I openly accepted (but not approved) that he was cheating and I still had sex with him, whenever he wasn't tired or whenever it was convenient. Regarding convenience, sometimes, the kids being in the house played a factor as to why we couldn't have sex, even if we both wanted to. If he went out, he could get it without the worry. Make no mistake, I never once blamed the kids for any reason. I knew that my problem was with the other women and I wanted my husband back.
I read sex columns and looked at porn sites to draw some ideas on what I could do to impress him, though I almost never adopted any of the tips or techniques because they were outside my comfort zone. Unfortunately, as time went on, my sex mood became lower and lower because of the knowledge that he was still constantly cheating - and not just with one woman. It seemed hopeless for me to keep trying. So, instead, I focused on being a better mom and bread-winner, just so that he didn't have to worry about the family. It was the bare minimum that I could do at least. In a blink of an eye, years went by without too much incident.
The day that Daniel got fired from his job was a true test for us as a family. If I still wanted us together, I had to be the one to keep it afloat. My best friend at the time told me to maintain my work ethic because the family was counting on me. That was when I felt that this was my opportunity to be a better wife. I needed to treat him better. Whenever he needed something, I wanted to be the one he could turn to.
Oddly enough, we had frequent sex during this time, as our grown kids were more likely to be out of the house with their friends and he was at home much more often too. While I rarely did anything too crazy with him, I became more willing to give him blow-jobs than our first few years. It wasn't something that I liked doing. It seemed degrading to me, which was another reason why I hated taking facials. I'd rather swallow instead, though I'd usually avoid that too, if I could help it. But it was time for me to change things up.
The one particular time when I did something crazy was when he had me sucking him at the men's washroom in the mall! I chose to swallow, for obvious reasons. But I warned him that we weren't going to do anything like that again. That turned out not to be true; we did the same thing once more, only that we were interrupted by a couple of the men that were waiting to use the booth! There wouldn't be any plausible reason for why I was inside there with him, so we ran out awkwardly. I was so embarrassed with the way they looked at me. After that, I refused to do anything like that again.
His luck would change, for better or for worse. He managed to meet a bunch of wealthy friends that helped him start a business. He spent most of his time networking with people that he usually was too busy to come home. I feared that he would cheat again. And he did. I found out through a friend this time that he was with another woman, hand-in-hand.
I was stumped. With two kids, I never once thought that there would be another man who could love me or my kids. If I divorced, that would be it; the family would be done. Of course, there were plenty of good men out there, but they were almost always taken. I was too scared to get rejected and I didn't want my kids to be without a father figure, so I had no choice but to keep going. In addition, if we divorced, our social circle would be awkward, since we knew numerous mutual friends. I know a lot of this might seem silly.
Despite our marital problems, we often went out together and everyone would be fooled. We were social. We knew how to be a part of the party. However, at the end of the night, at more formal parties, there would be some ballroom dancing and he was terrible at it; he'd always step on my feet and he'd never learn how to break the habit. On the other hand, I learned how to do dance and I avoided doing it with him. Furthermore, I preferred dancing with a taller man. I was fortunate to get these opportunities whenever they'd ask, but I didn't want to lead them on, nor would I want a bad reputation of dancing with other people's husbands. Anyhow, I just couldn't get used to a shorter man, especially someone who has two left feet on the floor. I was far from being a perfect person and I wasn't proud of it.
There were plenty of times when my mind and heart would wander, but I'd usually keep myself grounded. I've gone to bars in the past, though never regularly, and I'd usually get attention from them, but I never purposefully led them on. As years went by, I was more likely to be at home than not. Meanwhile, he kept going out, as normal and cheating.
After saving enough money, I finally decided to move out. I didn't want to alarm him or anything. I justified it as a real estate investment and not anything else, though it was located significantly farther away from him. He was against the idea at first, but I made some pretty valid opinions about the housing market. I promised that I'd still visit often and I didn't lie.