The Housekeepers

CHAPTER 1

The Woodhead's returned from the funeral of their wife/mother feeling sad and knowing it wasn't yet all over. The aunties and husbands were on their way to demand a say in the future of Tom's three kids: Julie who was a high school senior, Tommy (15) a guitar nut and his twin Ada who was morose and uncooperative and had been like that before her mom Helene was killed foiling an attempted robbery.

It was likely Tom would receive compensation of several hundred thousand dollars but not any time soon with attorneys yet to argue who was to blame for Helene's death.

Thomas Woodhead (48) owned a very profitable commercial printing business. Helene's death had not hit him particularly hard because he'd lost his love and respect for her two years earlier after being sent photographs, by a person or persons unknown, of Helene with Dick Lowburn's cock in her mouth while she jerked him off.

Helene had denied it had happened and said the photo was not of her and couldn't have been because she's been visiting her dying mother at that time. Well her mother did die. Tom visited Dick Lowborn, a divorcee. Dick laughed at Tom's claim that he'd been having it off with Tom's wife saying there were better fucks around for the taking than Tom's Helene.

"But I can tell you she sucks cock real good. My ex-wife came to me for money the other day and photographed her working on me but it's true what I said, I've never had full sex with your wife."

Tom was pretty sure he could floor Dick without suffering too much injury himself but had to think what would that achieve? As he went to leave he said to Dick coldly, "I'm giving you seven days to leave town and never to return. If you fail to comply it will be the end of you. It will be skillfully done, looking like an accidental but expect a very painful death."

Dick jeered, "You're bluffing."

"Seven days you Slime Ball and don't get your count wrong."

Tom never saw Dick Lowborn again.

A day after the warning, Helene began crying and wept for most of the day and she scarcely spoke to Tom for almost a week. Their relationship failed to return to normal. Loosing respect for a person takes a huge toll and in this case the feeling was mutual.

Looking severe after having attending the burial, Aunt Rose, Aunt Justine and Aunt Phyllis entered Tom's house without knocking and trailed by their embarrassed looking husbands. Motor-mouth Justine took over and said, "Clear out you kids and switch that TV off. We have something important to talk to your father about."

Tommy turned off the TV and Julie said defiantly, "You're wasting your time. Dad won't allow this family to be split up."

"Shut your mouth you upstart." Justine snarled. "If you don't I'll smack you over your mouth."

"Just you try you fat cow and dad will knock your crooked teeth straight before you swallow them."

"Why you..."

Tom said quietly, "That's more than enough Justine. Off you go kids... go to Julie's bedroom and close the door."

The kids could hear shouting but not what was being said. Ada turned on Julie's TV set and 'The Simpson's' occupied their attention until their father came in and tossed Julie the keys to her late mother's car.

"Take twenty bucks out of the old coffee tin and get us hamburgers. Drive carefully."

Ada asked what had happened in the talks over their welfare.

"Your relatives have gone empty-handed. I told you I'd heard what you guys wanted and wouldn't make my decision until I heard the submissions of your mom's sisters. None of them wanted you Julie, all saying you were such a tough bitch you'd only be trouble. I said one of them takes all three of you or to leave now and so they all left."

"Am I really that bad daddy darling?"

"You are much better than some of the street kids I've seen. If you are treated nicely you respond nicely, at least in my opinion. You get on fine with your other two aunts. You lash out at Justine because she's such a bully and we know her two kids are scared of her. Now off you go and observe all your road drills and don't listen to music."

"May I whistle?"

"Fuck off Julie," Tom grinned. "We're all hungry. Set the table Tommy."

"Aw dad."

"You've had your whine Tommy, off you go."

"Daddy when can I use the F-word? Julie does."

"Never Ada because you are such a lady and always will be."

"Oh you've never told me that before daddy."

"Well some things get buried instead of being said. You know that don't you?"

"Absolutely. You ought to teach at school. You are so good with your explanations."

Tom smiled, convinced that Ada would turn out very okay and Tommy too. It was Julie who worried him. She challenged practically everything and stood up to anyone unafraid and had come home more than once with a fat lip for not backing down under threat of bigger kids. Christ he recalled Helene had been aghast as finding what she thought was semen on a school navy skirt Julie had tossed into the laundry tub. He'd now be responsible for ensuring she didn't run out of contraceptives.

How the hell was he going to find a decent housekeeper? Justine had threatened to report his inadequacy in caring for three teenagers to the child welfare authority. The bitch was not giving him a chance but he shut her up by saying he intended employing a live-in housekeeper, an older woman with authority.

Over dinner Tom announced he'd have to employ a housekeeper to keep the child welfare authorities off his back.

"I'll look after the twins dad. I would love playing mother and would go to bed with you if that's what you want."

Tom had to pretend he hadn't heard that. The twins glanced at each other without fuss but then they were used to Julie's outrageous ways.

"How could you go out with your girlfriends after school and weekends and date approved guys if you had motherly responsibilities at home?"

"What no dates?" Julie said aghast, and she'd obviously decided she'd remain an independent schoolgirl with no undue home responsibilities.

The next day Tom called at the child welfare office and asked to see the case officer... the woman who'd called at his home on the day of Helene's death to offer help and he'd said the family would be okay, that he had options in mind.

Mrs Lucas took him into her office and smiled encouragingly and said, "Am I correct in assuming you are her to apply for assistance?"

"No everything is running fine and the kids are being well-behaved and cooperative. You did ask me to report to you as soon as I had everything sorted. The funeral was yesterday."

"Yes and what a dreadful experience for all concerned. I'm pleased that you appear to be holding up well."

Tom looked at what was holding up Mrs Lucas's amply bosom and saw a flash of pink. Ever so casually she brought her hands and elbows together and leaned slightly forward on her desk, blocking Tom's view of her cleavage.

"Is there anything I can help you with Mr Woodhead?"

Tom thought it unlikely she would be impressed if he said yes give him half an hour to play with her tits. "Um yes, can you recommend a reliable and high-performance housekeeper?"

"What do you mean by high-performance."

"A woman who shuts her mouth and gets on with her duties expertly."

Mrs Lucas was shaking with suppressed laughter. She laid down her arms, exposing quite a lot of her chest-high attributes and said, "Women like that are probably as rare as males who don't answer back and do things before they're asked to do them."

"You're funny."

Mrs Lucas smiled and blushed and patted one side of her hair.

Tom glanced at her tits and was sure they were pushed forward slightly.

"I'll email you later today with contact details of three women taken at random from unattached women who might consider taking on the role of a housekeeper. Have you any idea what to pay them?"

"I have no idea. Seven grand a month perhaps?"

"Mr Woodhead, that amount could tempt me to apply. No very much less than that. I will include rates plus a copy of a suggested contract of employment."

"Can't I just pay the woman and tell her to get on with it?"

"Do you have the people you employ at your printing works on contract?"

"Christ yes."

"Well think of a housekeeper as a worker with some expertise like many of the people you employ. A contract sets out responsibilities on both sides and provides limited legal protection on both sides."

"Well thank you. I appreciate your assistance and will advise when I have a housekeeper in place and then you can close the Woodhead's file. You are a lovely lady Mrs Lucas."

"Well yes, I suppose I am. I believe I could provide you with a list of women who could assist with your other needs."

"I'd accept such a list if it only contained your name Mrs Lucas."

Mrs Lucas, her cheeks now highly colored remain seated and said politely, "Good day Mr Woodhead."

Her face remained pretty passive but Tom interpreted the expression as being thoughtful. He wondered how much would she charge or would she even consider imposing a charge if she arrived at his door and handed him that list with only her name on it. Very intriguing.

The email arrived after lunch. It began, "Dear Tom..." Hello, what had happened to 'Mr Woodhouse?" He was pleased about that but mildly disappointed there was no graphic of her tits on the last page.

The next day Tom interviewed the three women on the list and after discussion with the one he favored, although less than enthusiastically, he hired Mrs Alice Larsen after she'd inspected his home and met the kids.

At dinner that night the conclusions were:

Tom: She might work out okay.

Julie: She's too old, more like a grandmother, so won't be tolerant of me.

Tommy: She said she's tone deaf and that's why she never learned to play a musical instrument.

Ada: She's not very intelligent.

Tom wisely didn't announce his summing up. His conclusion was he'd goofed when he'd engaged Mrs Larsen.

Mrs Larsen managed to last two weeks before handing Tom her resignation. He paid her off, giving her fifty bucks to quit immediately.

The Woodhead family had a very happy dinner that evening without Mrs Larsen hovering and criticizing. Tom had let the casserole burn but the steamed vegetables were cooked to perfection. He and Julie finished a whole bottle of wine and then the little bitch offered to sleep with him. Tom decided to engage another housekeeper.

He put up a notice at work, 'Can anyone recommend me a live-in housekeeper. Tom W.'

Margaret, an 18-year old paper feeder, said her grandmother could be interested. Tom liked her and Mrs Ross liked him, the house and the kids and she was hired.

A couple of days later Tom was looking as a plump, swaying ass of a woman walking in front of him when he turned to enter a lingerie shop and she said in surprise, "Oh hi Tom."

"Oh hi Mrs Lucas."

"Oh call me Thelma. How are you and the family getting along?"

"Fine but we had to change housekeepers because the kids found my first choice was too crabby and er not musical and not very intelligent."

"Oh dear, you do expect a lot from your housekeeper. You ought to have hired me."

She laughed and her tits shook and Tom felt very interested.

"That was in jest Tom. I have two children of my own and a lazy husband to look after."

She eyed him. "Tom I understand your situation but I cannot help you um unless you permit me to give you contact details of some women with big breasts who might be available. I would be fired if it was discovered I'd attempted to procure women for you."

"Then please don't do it."

"You are a gentleman Tom and I admire your for it. I must go; I need to purchase stockings. Oh listen, if you ever need another housekeeper call me. My sister might help out. Her husband has left her."

"Well thanks. Um do you wish me to help you choose stockings?"

"I always buy similar ones. When I need to replace bras perhaps I may give you a call to assist make the choices. But don't count on it."

"You are a lovely woman Thelma."

"Oh please Tom, don't tempt me."

"Goodbye."

"Goodbye and better luck with your housekeeper Tom."

Three weeks later Mrs Ross slipped in her daughter's bathroom and broke her hip.

She resigned, effective immediately.

The family visited her in hospital and each one of them handed her a bunch of flowers.

The new housekeeper Miss Nichols lasted five days. She liked doing the housework in just her panties and bra and the kids complained to Tom that she had BO and when Tom suggested top Julie perhaps she was menstruating, Julie rolled round the floor laughing hysterically and finally managed to blurt, "God dad, she's sixty-four years of age."

She kept insisting that Tommy must not play his guitar while she was in the house but she was always in the house, rarely going out except to do the shopping.

She, Tommy and Tom became involved in an argument and finally Miss Nichols made the ultimatum: "Either that guitar goes or I go."

That was the end of Miss Nichol's term as housekeeper for the Woodhead family.

Tom hired a 44-year old but she never shifted in. When Tom called her two days after she was supposed to arrive she said on of her old boyfriends had returned to the city and they could scarcely get out of bed.

The next candidate was in her early fifties, a retired nurse. She arrived to moved in and then demanded Julie's room. Tom heard the unholy row and went running to find them on the floor attempting to throttle each other. Julie had a bleeding nose and a closing eye and Miss Shanks had a tooth knocked out and a cut lip.

"I'm not coming here to work for your lot and I'll be asking my attorney to get thousands of dollars off your father for what you did to me you savage bitch."

"That's enough of that stupid talk Miss Shanks. Kindly remove your things from our house and you can consider yourself very lucky that I'm not laying a complaint to the police against you alleging criminal assault on a minor. You ought to be ashamed of yourself."

"Look what she did to me the savage bitch."

"Self protection by a minor under assault is not considered a crime Miss Shanks. I suggest you consult your attorney and listed very carefully to what he or she says. Now get you ass out of our house you wicked woman."

The woman left quickly and they would not hear from her again.

"Thanks dad. I was getting carried away, thinking I'd elbow her in the throat and then bite her nipples off."

"You just calm down young lady and learn to control your aggression. God if you chewed her like that I could be sued for a million bucks in damages."

"It's only money dad, pride is more important but I heard what you said. Thanks again. Could we please get a new housekeeper, one who doesn't want my bedroom?"

"Yes dear."

Next morning Tom called Thelma Lucas. "I want your sister."

She laughed and said Dianne could be rather choosy.

"I meant as a housekeeper."

"Oh good, I was becoming jealous for a moment."

"How are your tits?"

"What? Oh I'd forgotten about your fetish. They have their ups and downs. Actually my husband Alex is under less pressure at work and has been really attentive to me lately."

"I'm pleased."

"Are you really Tom?"

"Absolutely. You are not available to me Thelma and I accept that. What's more I enjoy our quirky relationship."

"Quirky?"

"We both know there is something we'd like from each other but know is remains impossible to consummate."

"God you talk well for a printer."

Tom laughed. "Although I believe I can picture your body in minute detail, no way do I claim to be an artist. I just possess the art of being able to picture that of which I wish to see, perhaps more developed than most people. I personally think it's a shame but I suspect you wish your breasts were much smaller so you could appear more elegant in those excruciatingly lovely bras specialist shops sell."

"Omigod how could you possible know I often think like that?"

"I tried to how you would think when I was looking at a magazine picture of a model in a sweet little bra. It wasn't difficult to arrive at the conclusion I did. I daresay many women of the larger size would also think like that as would people would big feet think about small, elegant shoes."

They talked for a few more minutes and then Thelma said someone had arrived on appointment to see her. I'll visit Dianne tonight and if she's interested she could call you tomorrow."

At 10:40 that night Julie and Tom were watching a TV film, the twins were asleep, when the house phone went. Julie went to the kitchen to answer. She returned and smiled. "Some lush with a sexy voice wishes to speak to you. She said her name is Mrs Dianne Lusk. Have you been a naughty boy daddy?"

Tom attempted to swat her butt but Julie was too quick for him.

"Tom Woodhead speaking."

"Oh hi Tom, it's Dianne speaking. My sister told me you like big boobs. Mine are almost as large as hers."

Tom licked his lips. "Are you Thelma's sister?"

"Yes and clever boy because I suppose she didn't say my surname was Lusk."

"Correct."

"Tell me, and please don't be shocked by me being so forward; if you and I hit it off can I sleep with you?"

"Er and um..."

"I'm asking could we engage in sex?

"I hope you can understand this but I would have to put that proposal to a family meeting: the twins are 15 and their older sister is 17 and possibly could become jealous of you if you wanted to sleep with me. But first there has to be a meeting at which they look your over."

"Oh God, of me nude?"

"No look you over in the sense of assessing you for mutual compatibility. They are against crabby, limited intelligent, smelly, too authoritative, too and restrictive and unmusical housekeepers."

"Phew I'm none of those. Would you like now to talk about my breasts?"

"If you don't mind no. Could you come here today at 5.30 for the interview?"

"Yes of course. I can then cook dinner for all of us. I have your address."

"Great, I look forward to meeting you Mrs Lusk."

"Please don't be a pain Tom, call me Dianne. You may wish to know my bra size is 34C."

She cut the call, leaving Tom licking his lips.

When the twins arrived home Tom said, "A potential housekeeper is coming for a family interview at 5:30. I decided on a full family interview because I've made some bad choices and believe we may do better as a team. She is a younger woman."

The twins appeared disinterested, doing little more than shrug but then to Tom's surprise Ada pulled out her phone and made a call.

"Hi. You best come home early. I think dad might have flipped. We are to interview a potential housekeeper at 5:30. Apparently she is much younger than usual... yes younger."

The father thought, our father appears to have flipped? What the hell was that about?

Tom looked at his watch when he heard the garage door open and Julie drive in 'her' car as the kids now called it. This might be a record early arrival home for her in recent months, er since her mom's death.

Julie raced in.

"Tell me about her. Ada said younger."

"What?"

Ada appeared from nowhere and accused, "You told me younger."

"She sounds younger."

"Sounds younger than what?" Tommy asked, his guitar practice interrupted. "Do you mean since the previous time you spoke to her?"

Tom couldn't figure what this was about. Why this intense interest?

"I guess she is younger... I've not met her."

Three pairs of eyes bored in on him giving him a trapped feeling. God he ought to have stayed at the plant instead of coming home early to tidy up.

"I know her sister who is our case officer."

Julie said ominously, "Our case officer?"

Tom groaned "Oh Jesus" and explained that under law in their state if minors were not being adequately cared for they could be declared wards of the state. "But presumable not you Julie because you're about to turn eighteen but I'm not sure about that."