My name is Jackie. I recently discovered Literotica while searching for answers on erotica in my own private life and behaviour. After reading a few stories on Literotica I decided to recount my own experiences as a method to get clarity for myself on my own experiences, values and norms. To me writing is therapeutic. It is like talking to a close friend and opening my heart, feelings and emotions. In the process I get perspective in my own mind on my own values, norms, likes and dislikes.
I am not a writer, nor do I want, or need to be one, but I am rather talking from my heart in an open letter to you. To those literary giants focusing on correct syntax, grammar, punctuation, etc., waiting to tear writers apart - everyone to her (his) own. Perhaps, one day when the kids are out of the house, I will try my hand at real writing. In the mean time, this is my letter, from the heart, talking to you as a person recounting true episodes in my own life. And just perhaps it will help someone getting an answer in their own lives, or even sharing the same experience with me without a guilt ride.
This is a true story about my own experiences recounted here.
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To place all in perspective I should perhaps tell you first something about myself.
I'm in my late thirties and for a woman I'm rather tall, just under 6 feet. I am blessed with shoulder length golden blond hair that is streaked with natural highlights from the sun. But then again, I'm a sports coach at a local school and I'm outdoors in the sun most of the day with the result that I always have a bronze tanned skin, summer and winter. Being a sports coach I'm fit, with a flat stomach, even after two children, and have rather smallish buttocks β very unlike the latest fashion that the J-Lo posterior brigade dictates. Being a natural athlete, I have long shapely legs with good muscle tone. To me, my breasts are one of my better assets, full round and on the perky side with very responsive nipples, often to my embarrassment. The slightest brush against the 'ladies' sends shivers down my spine and my nipples react immediately. Therefore I usually wear a padded 36C bra to dampen the accidental touches a little and to hide my responsive nipples from public view. Contrary to what men believe, women are mostly shy and embarrassed when their nipples become erect and women usually want to hide it away from scrutiny. Perhaps I just have a very sensitive skin as I also break out in goosebumps easily. A slight wind blowing over my skin or a change in temperature and my legs are covered in goosebumps. Trying to hide my frequent goosebumps I'm clean shaven, all over - from my toes to my finger tips. I just love the velvety feel of my shaven soft tanned skin.
Even after fourteen years of marriage, and two children, I still enjoy sex with my husband. I'm also proud of my body and the fact that I'm in reasonable good shape. I also know that I can turn heads when in public with my blond hair and long legs ... and I suppose my perky breasts also. But I always dress modestly and have high moral values. I do not need to dress scantily to attract attention, or to feel good about myself. Actually, perhaps because of my length, blond hair, long legs, perky breasts and personality I have always attracted attention and got used to it over the years.
Although I consider myself adventurous in bed I never had the inclination, or desire, to make love to someone else than my husband. Yes, we have our fantasies and are quite naughty when we are alone or on holiday without the kids. Once we even took nude photographs of me on a lonely beach and got turned on so much that we couldn't wait to get back to the hotel and had beautiful and exquisite sex right there on the beach. For weeks afterwards we recounted the episode and each time virtually ripped each other's clothes off. The thought of the daringness thereof, the exhibitionist side of it, and the naughtiness of the public sex should someone came along really turned us on.
In my opinion we are just a normal healthy couple, in love with each other, with a normal sex drive with high moral values.
My perspective on erotica, sexiness, my own sensuality and my repressed sexual spontaneity, and enjoyment thereof, changed a few months ago when I realised one afternoon that our neighbour is a voyeur and has been watching me for some time without me knowing. Then, one afternoon, feeling rather frisky and amorous, I decided to rub lotion into my skin while standing naked in front of the window fully knowing that he was watching. That afternoon I gave him a proper look at my vagina and even masturbated to a huge climax for him.
This incident marked a turning point in my sexuality as it really turned me on without feeling guilty or remorse. I decided to be more forward with my own sensuality and to enjoy, experiment and experience sex with less inhibition. That's how I ended up researching erotica and landed on Literotica.
Testing the waters first with probing questions and suggestions, my husband agreed on us broadening our sexual experiences on one condition. That we must always be honest with each other, and never keep anything from each other.
Since then it became nearly a habit to dress or undress in front of the window, giving the neighbour a good view (and show) on a few occasions. My husband, Trevor, even stood out of view, inside the door, and encouraged me to touch myself provocatively, masturbate and display my body for the neighbour. It really turned us on and we have the most wonderful love making afterwards. We once even made love in front of the window, knowing that the neighbour was watching β but that is another story.