Women generally live longer than men, but that is not always true. "The Sunshine Boys"—as we had called ourselves in a joking manner—was composed of four men, all over the age of 65 and all of whom had lost their wives in the past ten years or so, most from things like breast cancer, leukemia, etc. Living in the same neighborhood in northern New Jersey, we all had known each other for many years, but we became much closer when we learned that we had that one thing in common.
I was a retired journalist, Warren was a retired advertising man, Jeff had owned an auto parts business, and Bill had been in government.
We met to play cards and have a couple of drinks about once a week, but we soon found that just living in the old neighborhood was itself a downer. "And the last thing I want to do is move to Florida," Jeff said. "People go there to die."
"The real estate market is sky high right now," Warren said, "We should all sell and get the hell out of New Jersey. Move to someplace where none of us has ever been before. Have a little fun before we die."
That sounded like a good idea to all of us, so we all put our houses up for sale, sold them pretty quickly, and made plans to move. We all wanted to move west, but none of us liked hot weather, so a place like Phoenix was out of the question. Instead, after much research, we chose Flagstaff, Arizona. At an elevation of 7,000 feet, Flagstaff was up in the mountains, had a population of about 50,000, and had an excellent school of higher learning, Northern Arizona University. I went out first on a scouting exposition, and the report I brought back convinced the rest of them that Flagstaff was where we should go.
So I went out again and arranged for four luxury single bedroom apartments, all in the same complex, so we could continue being friends.
"The only problem with this retirement life is that there's no sex," Warren said one night when we were playing cards. "Viagra would be wasted on coots like us."
"Maybe not," I said.
"What do you mean?"
"I've been thinking about something. It's a wild idea, kind of like one of my magazine stories, but it could work." I explained the idea to them, and they were crazy about it—as long as I would set it up. I told them I would.
The next day I called in a classified Help Wanted ad to the Northern Arizona University newspaper, which read: "Four retired businessmen, newly moved to Flagstaff, seek part-time combination helper, guide and go-fer. Pay $12 an hour. Call ------------." I knew that NAU had thousands of students, so I thought we would get some response.
And we did. Ten people called about the job, eight of them women. I figured I would interview them, starting with the women (I had no intention of interviewing the men.) Of the eight women, an even four of them were quite pretty, but one, Shelly, seemed to be the friendliest and the most open-minded. So I hired her—but told the others I also would keep them in mind.
Shelly was very cute and lively. She was slender, about five-foot-six, and had short and curly dark hair. She also had an engaging smile.
I told her that I was a retired writer, and that Warren, Jeff, and Bill had all worked in the medical field.
At first the job was as we said: a little shopping for us, a little guiding. Warren had kept his car, a large SUV, and since Shelly had a license, she could drive us around when we wanted and take us on some sightseeing trips, such as to the Navajo and Hopi reservations. She seemed to be quite happy with the arrangement—and with the pay—so I thought it was time to move on.
"Shelly, I'm starting to work on an article for a medical journal that you may be able to help me with," I said one day.
"Really?" she asked.
"Yes. You know what Viagra is, right?"
She smiled. "Of course."
"The theme of this article will be that Viagra can be a psychological and physical boost to widowers who have lost their partner but who because of their age have little chance to find another partner."
"Sounds interesting."
"Since Warren, Jeff and Bill were all in medical fields, they are helping me with info on it, but what I need is real life demonstration."
"What do you mean?"
"I want to provide each one of us with Viagra, one at a time, and then match us up with an attractive young lady to see if her youth and beauty is sufficient to arouse a sexual interest—and even performance—in the men. The only problem is: Where would I find one or more such young ladies? I can't use a professional, such as a prostitute, because that would invalidate the findings. Quite frankly, what I really need is a couple of open-minded college girls. Two would be enough."
"I see...."
"I hope you're not offended by this conversation."
"No, but---"
"The job would pay a hundred dollars a session, and each session once a week would last about an hour. I'm not suggesting that you do it, but I thought you might know some open-minded young ladies who might be willing to do this scientific study—and be well-paid for it."
"I'll think about it...," she said, "I let you know if I think of anyone."
"That's all I ask."
And she did think of someone. She came back the next day with a friend named Crystal, who also was very pretty. She was about an inch taller than Shelly and had long blonde hair.
"I've been thinking about it a lot," Shelly said, "And I talked it over with my roommate Crystal here, and I think we would both be willing to do it. All four of you seem like very nice professional men, and this is after all a scientific experiment. It's not like you're looking for call girls or something like that."
She was right: nothing like that. Plus she forgot to mention the hundred dollars a session. That may have had something to do with her decision. "So how would it work?" she asked.
"Well, I've been talking with the others about it, and I really want to get this article done as soon as possible, so rather than doing it once a week, I think we would like to do it three times a week, perhaps two with you and one with Crystal. We would of course pay both of you on the spot—and in cash."
Shelly looked at Crystal. "What do you think?"
"Sounds good to me. I sure could use the money." Crystal said.
Shelly turned back to me. "When would you want us to start?" she asked.
