I'm a sixty year old retired widower with completely gray hair, a little paunch and live in a very nice three bedroom house in Wichita, Kansas. I drive the obligatory, for guys of my age, late model Mercury Grand Marquis. Everyone tells me I am a good-looking guy who has aged well.
If I were trying to describe my interests I would only have to mention two. Travel and reading. I got away from buying the Book of the Month selections and now get most of my reading material from the nearby public library.
I was coming out of the library a few months ago and ran smack into a ton of police cars. The two almost blocking the library doors were from the Sheriffs office and I knew one of the deputies very well.
"Hey Jim, what the hell is going on. Did you come over here to get that instructional book on how to be a good cop?"
"Stuff it Gramps." He replied with a laugh.
"What's going on with all of this power?" I queried him.
"Aw, we got a report that some gal we are looking for was spotted here."
"Well, I just came out of the library and only saw a few kids in there. She might have been down one of the rows I didn't see."
"Thanks, we'll take a look see."
As I was walking to my car out of the corner of my eye I noticed some movement near a Dumpster used by the variety store next to the library. Another few steps and I could see it was a gal in her early twenties and she was obviously trying to hide. I kept right on walking and when I got near the Dumpster I said in a low, but as clear a voice as I could muster.
"I will be pulling my silver Grand Marquis near this trash can in a few minutes and the right rear door will be unlocked. You will have about three seconds to open the door, dive in and pull the door shut behind you. You will then lay low on the floor behind my seat taking a travel blanket lying on the rear seat and pulling it over you. We can straighten all of this out once we get away from here."
That all went like clockwork and as I was driving out of the lot I lowered my window and waved at Jim, the deputy, and wished him luck apprehending the gal they were looking for. He just yelled over at the other deputies checking out the cars leaving the lot,
"The old guy's OK, let him pass." I laughed and gave him the finger.
We got about a mile down the road and I heard a small voice from behind me,
"Why the hell are you helping me. You don't know me from Madonna."
"Good, cause I wouldn't help that bitch at all.
"Then tell me 'why me'"
"Well honey, when I was your age I was in more trouble than I could even think about. If it weren't for some people giving me a helping hand back then I would probably be in the pokey right now."
"Are you this nice to every one in trouble?"
"Nah, just the ugly ones."
I felt her bang against the back of my seat and laugh, "You're something else."
"Look honey, I live a mile from here in a house with an attached garage. I am going to head there and you can get out of the car inside of the garage and enter the house unobserved. We can talk about all of this there and not have to worry about the law spotting you."
"OK sounds great but I still don't know why you are helping me."
I used the electric garage door and opened and then closed the door as soon as we were safely inside.
"OK, Ms. Dillinger, you can get out now."
The door from the garage leads into the kitchen and I told her to grab a chair at the kitchen table.
"Want a Coke or anything?" I offered.
"Yes, I would, thank you." She replied.
"All right honey. Now tell me what this is all about."
"It's not as bad as you are probably thinking. I think I broke my boyfriends shoulder and probably his arm too. And then I might have also broke his leg as well."
"Geez, did you leave anything on him unbroken? Tell me what happened."
"Well we had a big argument about other girls I think he is seeing while he is telling me that I am the only girl in his life and he punched me in the stomach and then pushed me against the stove in a fit of anger."
She pulled up her T-shirt to show me the bruise.
"Hold it right there and let me get a picture of that for you. The mark will fade in a few days and you won't have any proof of his attack."
I got a photo of that with her holding that day's newspaper to show the day the pic was taken.
"I got upset with him treating me that way and grabbed a cast iron frying pan off the stove and hit his shoulder with the edge of it. I swung it as hard as I could and could hear the bones breaking as it hit."
"Whew, you don't fuck around when you get angry do you?"
"He reached for my hair and pulled it hard and I swung again and hit his arm and heard a bone crack there too. He fell and then kicked out at me and I took another swing and hit his shin with the edge of the frying pan and heard a bone snap there too."
"Holy shit. They are going to go after you for attempted murder." I exclaimed
"I ran out of the house and a neighbor woman gave me a ride to the library. I know the librarian and was hoping she would give me a ride someplace else when I saw the first police car arrive."
"Well, calm down. You are safe in here as we think about what the next best move is for you." I offered.
"Look, I don't have any money to pay you with. I don't have any clothes or means of getting any. All my stuff is at the apartment I shared with him and I don't think I should go back there. Do you?"
"Not hardly honey." I counseled.
"Honey, I'm Bill and I think I ought to know what you go by."
"Oh, I'm JoAnn and I'm pleased to know you Bill."
I was looking her over as she was telling me all of this and she had to be in her early twenties. She was fairly pretty and roughly five foot five inches and fairly slim. She didn't have any tits to speak of but had a nice looking ass from what I could see of it.
"JoAnn, the refrigerator is right behind you and how about getting up and making us a sandwich for lunch. There is turkey breast and ham lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise just waiting for your magic touch."
We ate and then sat around discussing some of the obvious options. I thought the whole thing was a straightforward problem.
"JoAnn you can't simply turn yourself in without great legal representation. Your case has to depend on self-defense and I don't think you want some real estate lawyer but you need someone who has had a lot of experience in these types of cases. Do you know anyone like that? If you don't ... I think I know someone who might."
"No I don't Bill but let me think on it and after a few days talk to some people who might know. My folks might but they live back east."
"Well, when we get around to looking for that lawyer you can call your folks and let them ask the legal hot shots in their town if they know of any experts out here."
"Hold on honey. I don't know shit about the ability of the police to trace the location of a cell phone caller. But just to be certain, don't even think of making any calls from your cell phone or the law will be on your ass before the call is even ended. When you want to call someone we are going to have to go someplace else and you can call on your cell phone from there so they can't trace the call to a location you will be at when they get there. OK? This is serious shit now listen up."
"OK Bill. What the hell did I ever do to deserve someone like you to help me out?"
"Ah, nothing other than to look as pretty as you do." I joked.
"Bullshit, you couldn't even see me hiding behind that Dumpster when you told me to jump in your car."
"Maybe I have a soft spot for people in trouble." I answered.
"Are you ever going to tell me the kind of scrapes you got into?" she asked