Then on April 1, 2010 it all came crashing down. A police officer stood at my front door and, with his hat in his hand, informed me of the accident. He said, "Please come now, they don't expect Richard to live. Strangely, I didn't even cry right then or even panic; I just covered my face with my hands and leaned against the wall for several minutes in shock.
The next three weeks were a blur to me. At least five hours a day and several overnights I stayed in intensive care with him. They kept him in an induced coma for obvious pain reasons. After seven days it was clear that he would live, but the doctors told me he would be quadriplegic when he woke up. I felt devastated all over again. Thank God for Jack! The company gave him a leave of absence for a month; I needed him because there was no way I would have been able to make the preparations for Richard's new condition in life, file insurance claims, get to court for the drunk driver's arraignment and dozens of other things without his help. It was all I could do just to hold it together for Richard's sake! Oh, and the crying began on the second night, and I couldn't stop it for two weeks.
Fortunately, Richard had set us up nicely for our later years. We had plenty of money in the bank, and the settlement from the insurance companies was fair and proper. I didn't really have to work unless I wanted to. But during the third month, I decided to hire help and I kept working in order to keep myself occupied. Richard was barely able to speak at this point and watching the emotional toll on him was so hard. For me, it helped to have a support structure at my office. My two friends there, Karen and Audra, were invaluable; and even though Rachel Stevens, Richard's secretary, was reassigned to my husband's replacement, she called or visited me every day during that first month, and we went out to dinner together once a week for the next four months. Rachel was ten years my junior but we had gotten fairly close due to her job with Richard and our business associations.
Those dinners turned out to be the next incredible part of this story; little did I know what a twist my life was going to take because of them. Thursday nights had become regular for Rachel and me. She had been married to a man named Eric for four years but was now divorced and with the help I hired, I was pretty much free to come and go as I wished. She had been single again for about ten years, but I had never considered why. I'm not the nosy type, but on this particular Thursday night it began with an innocent enough question.
We had just ordered our food when she asked, "So, Renna, what are you going to do now?" Her face had a very different look when she asked it. It was whimsical and wry and I didn't know where she was coming from.
Not being sure about her intent, I simply said, "Oh, things are settling down finally. Richard's nurses are great, and my full-time nurse Sophie is amazing! Thank God they held my job for me or I'd be going stir crazy."
"That's not what I mean," she rejoined, "I mean, what are you going to do now that the man who fucked your brains out for thirty-two years can't do it anymore?" I think she was ready for the look that swept over my face because when she saw it, she exploded in laughter!
When I found my voice, I replied to her grin, "Now what are you talking about?"
"Hun, I've been waiting for the right moment to ask you that; I figured four months would be good enough; is it?"
Until that minute, I really had not considered this problem. Grief is a funny thing and one of the symptoms of my particular grief was that my sex life had stopped as stone-cold dead as could be.
I figured another question couldn't hurt. "Now how would YOU know any of the particulars of my sex life?"
There was that wry smile again! "Honey, I know ALL the particulars of your sex life!"
I'm sure my mouth was hanging open in shock, "Wha.a.a.t?" It was all I could manage to stammer.
"I said I know all about your sex life."
"How?"
"Because Richard told me everything!"
"What do you mean he told you everything? Why would he do that?" A thousand questions came flooding into my mind all at once. I wasn't mad at Rachel right then, but the questions needed answers.
"It's a long story, Renna."
"It seems you've made this the topic of our conversation tonight, Rach."
"I'll tell you, if you promise to answer all my questions too, okay?"
Without thinking I said, "Alright, I promise." Wow, turns out keeping that promise was going to change my life dramatically.
"Good," said Rachel, "let's go back to your place, make some coffee and sit out on the patio for a talk."
"I'll agree to that plan, if you pick up the check for dinner!"
Rachel burst out laughing and picked it up. "You're pretty sneaky, Renn, taking advantage of me like that!"
We left the restaurant and as we were climbing into my car I asked her, "This talk we're going to have, Rachel, it's not going to make me angry, is it?
She settled into the passenger seat and fastened her safety-belt. "That depends, Sweetie; would you like to answer my original question right now?"
"Which was what?" As I said, there were too many questions swirling around in my head.
"What are you going to do now, I mean with your sex life?"
"I guess I'm just going to survive without one for a while."
"Well, Renna, I understand that you're hurt badly, Richard was a wonderful guy, right? Those asshole drunks who destroy people's lives; they ought to execute all of them...or at least castrate them!" We both laughed at that.
"Oh, Rachel, I already decided I can't live on hating that man who did this to Richard; what would that accomplish?"
"Yes, of course you're right," she agreed, "but doesn't a nymphomaniac like you need to get back onto 'the horse' so to speak?"
"Ohhh MY GODD!!" I shouted at her, "What did that husband of mine tell you?"
Rachel was laughing so hard she couldn't speak for a minute, and when she did, she said, "Ohh God, my tummy hurts, Ooohh!"
Pulling into my driveway, I slammed the car into park and smacked her on the upper arm, "Come on! You tell me right now!"
