A Study in Stupid--3
New Ways to be a Dumbass
"I don't want to see you any more. Please don't call."
The click of the receiver in my ear pretty well told me there wasn't any sense in carrying on a communication. I knew the score anyway, Ann just broke it off before anything happened. Not just the score, I knew all the statistics that went with it as well.
Ann, another of the women who'd taken my field trip to Amish country class through the university. That had been four months before. She'd had such a good time she'd signed up her parents, her brothers, her in-laws, their families and just about everybody she knew for trips since. All that and still found time to go out with me.
Three times out with me, even if I was thinking she was a little young at 24, me the old veteran of 34 at the time. Twice it was lunch out, the third time back at my place. Tuna sandwiches and making out on the couch just the day before this magical phone call. That's as far as it went though, I didn't even get to second base. That other statistic of the game came into play when I tried to get the top button open, the fact she had a husband. Maybe she hadn't been a good girl before she married Tom but she was now, that's all that mattered. Oh well, so it goes, at least for an hour.
It was that hour later when the phone rang, Ann's mother on the line. Very cool, very reserved, wondering if we might meet the next day to talk. Having no desire to be murdered without witnesses around, I suggested Wendy's for lunch. Fine, click and oh well all over again.
At least I wasn't wearing a bullet-proof vest when Marsha's mile-long Buick pulled into the Wendy's lot. I thought about it, at least until a burst of sunshine opened her car door and grinned at the sight of me. An angry mother doesn't come happy, nor does she look that good. It's been a sweatshirt and jeans when she took the field trip. Now it was sleeveless red blouse, black slacks and checkerboard shoes. Then there was that matter of a greeting.
We'd shaken hands at the end of the trip, nice and polite. She'd been polite on the phone but very cool. Now, in a Wendy's parking lot, she was hugging me and giving me a kiss. Something was telling me I'd never figure out women but I wasn't listening to that voice. I'd rather be listening to Marsha.
For an hour I was totally captivated, intrigued by a most fascinating beauty. I didn't want to talk about me, I wanted to hear about her, no matter how much she flattered. How much she almost flirted, not that I would admit that. She was so incredibly active, I didn't want to keep her from all the things she wanted to do. We would definitely have to do this again though, and soon. A fun hour, pleasant memories as I drove back to my place savoring a new friendship, pulled in the drive and realized a mile-long Buick was in my rear-view mirror.
Maybe I was all talked out was why nothing was said there in the drive. No words as we went up the steps and I unlocked the door. Not a sound in the entire universe but the opening of the door, Marsha stepping in, the door closing, locking and two bodies locked together.