I got up that morning feeling off. It wasn't that I felt actually ill, I didn't.
I just felt...off?
The Coffee pot was ready, I poured a cup, checked the fire and there were still some coals so I flipped the draft to build some heat, stuffed a few smaller pieces of wood in there.
In just a few minutes I was rewarded with flames, so I dropped in a couple of blocks and closed the draft.
By then I was ready for my morning ritual, I headed off for the bathroom, still feeling oddly.
That was strange, in my 66 years I had my share of colds and flu, this was different. As I sat on the john I glanced over and looked at myself, my face seemed to be fairly white.
Still, everything appeared normal, until I glanced down at the tissue.
It was shockingly black, jet black!
Now what in the hell, I thought? I wondered what I had eaten that could have caused that? Perhaps the bowl of chili a few days earlier, the Spinach I had steamed for dinner with a dab of Vinegar on it?
I went in and sat down in my chair, feeling mildly dizzy. Clicking on the TV, the screen seemed blurry, I wiped at my eyes a few times to clear them.
My stomach began to hurt, then rumble, it was obvious gas. I barely made it to the bathroom that time, checking the tissue again it was still jet black.
I went back in and sat down at my computer, pulled up a medical web site. Nope, it wasn't licorice, I hated that stuff and I sure as hell hadn't taken any Pepto bismol.
Then the screen linked to bleeding ulcers, Colon Cancer, all sorts of horror stories.
I closed the screen, I was healthy as a horse and knew it. Nothing bad could be happening to me, it had to be something I ate.
The next morning was the same, by now I was feeling really down and beginning to worry. I looked at the clock, it was 9:30, ridiculous for me, I always woke up at 6 AM.
I did some more online searching, same results. On impulse, I reached for the phone and called my Nurse Practitioner's office.
Her name is Debra, she is a 50 something gal that packs around maybe 20 extra pounds. I know she is single, some things are easy to find out in small towns. She usually has on pants and a sweater with a cartoon character sewn on the front, she doesn't look like any Nurse or Doctor you ever saw.
I seldom use a Doctor, I prefer a Nurse. I suppose that is silly but she listens to me carefully and looks at me like she actually sees me, most Doctors look at charts and glance at me like I am a broken part on a car or something.
Besides, she has had her fingers up my rear end and my dick in her hand checking, no nonsense about any of that at all. We even talked about things that happened to me 50 years ago, it seems that every detail of my life is right there on her computer screen.
We even chatted about the fact that I sometimes have a little stuggle getting it up, what the hell, I really am 66 and on Nitrates. I have been single myself for almost a decade.
No Viagra for me because of that, she told me. But there are other ways, she actually went into some depth about it, not even a hint of discomfort on her face as she reached down with a gloved hand and did something down there that tripped the old thing.
That one kinda surprised me, hell, there I stood in the silly gown with all the flowers on it sporting what was pretty fair wood for my old tired pecker.
She might as well have been talking about my fingers, I have a good Doctor there.
Or rather, a Nurse.
Anyway, her assistant came on the phone and asked me a few questions, then told me he would be right back.
He was in seconds.
"Debra says to tell you to go to emergency." He said.
"Emergency? I'm not that sick, I just...."
"That is what she said, you could be bleeding out."
"I don't think it's that, can't you run some tests?" No way in hell did I want to go to any emergency room, I had been in a couple of them and I hated that.
Then there was some conversation in the background, Debra came on the phone.
"Dan, don't you go being a stubborn horse's ass on me, get yourself in here and right now!" She demanded.
"Debra, I..."
"NOW! Go to the lab, they are waiting. They will pull some blood, if the results are what I think you are going to the hospital."
"OK." No point in arguing with her, either, I had long since figured that part out, too.
They had the test results back in two hours, she took one look.
"Dan. Go to emergency. Right NOW!"
The next thing I knew I was flat on my back with tubes running out of me, thinking longingly of my pack of smokes I had left in the car, and my coffee pot at home that was cold by now.
The place was full of nurses running around everywhere, some of them on the cute side which wasn't too bad. Of course the one they sent in to shove his arm up my ass was a hairy guy that could have been King Kong's little brother.
"Well, you most certainly are bleeding!" He said, and left.
Seconds later a tall nurse came in, looked me over. Another one was right behind her, they sprayed something terrible in my throat, then shoved a tube down my nose. That was terrible, I gagged and retched, finally they mercifully pulled the tube back out. Then they both left, a few seconds later the tall one came back in.
"You are being admitted, usually we have to transmit to the valley hospital but you are lucky, we have a room here." Then she winked at me.
In short order I was in a room, an IV in my arm and two bags hanging from the little stand by my side.
A young woman swept into the room, began moving things around. "Hello, Dan. I'm Candi, I will be your CNP today. Anything you need just buzz me." She handed me a controller.
"Hey, can I get some Coffee?"
"No, no Coffee." She smiled at me, reaching down she adjusted the pillows. Hell, I could see all the way to her navel when she did that, the smock she had on gapped way open.
She saw me looking and just smiled, made no move to cover up or hide anything.
Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad, I thought.
"So what are they putting in me here?" I asked, waving at the IV stand.
"Two pints of blood and a medicine to help control the bleeding, they think you have an ulcer."
