My face went scarlet when Debra looked at me and asked the question.
"Are you Magmaman?" She had a grin on her face.
Busted. The last thing in the world I wanted was anybody who knew me to find out that I sit around the house and write naughty stories and post them online.
Well, probably not very naughty compared to some I read online but still.
Sure, some of them are just fantasy crap and I never did think I was ever very good at it, but it's a kick in the ass to do and fun to read the comments.
The real kick is that the closer they are to truth, the more I get nasty comments about it not being believable.
The problem is that some of them really do have a piece of truth in them, and maybe, just maybe might tell anyone who reads them some things about me that I would just as soon keep well hidden?
It's not a problem at all when nobody knows who I am that I write this crap.
"I..uhh..err..." I cleverly responded, my mind running at mach two trying to come up with some way of denying it.
"I read most of those stories, pretty good. That is you, isn't it Danny?" Debra sat there on her little roller stool, then she reached out and placed one hand on my knee.
"It's OK, I like most of them."
Debra is my Registered Nurse Practitioner, that is a mouthful of a title which means she is as close to a Doctor as one can get, in my mind she is my Doctor.
I had thought what the hell when she walked into the tiny little room way back at my welcome to medicare physical. She looked to be 50 something, about 30 pounds hanging around back there, a big heavy sweater with a cartoon character sewed on the front of it that did little to hide the fact that she had a set of big'uns suspended in a huge bra.
She looked nothing like any Doctor or Nurse I ever saw in my life.
Of course she has had her hands all over me, her finger up my behind, I don't have any physical secrets from her at all.
I remember the first time she told me to drop my pants.
"You first!" I told her. She put her hands on her hips, but then she laughed.
Probably heard that one before.
Next thing I knew I was shuffled off down the hall to a tiny little side room wearing one of those flowery gown things that leaves the bare ass hanging out in space.
"Sperm sample" She told me, something about checking for blood and bacteria. I knew what that meant of course, the trouble with that is I am 66 years old and I just can't exactly provide sperm samples on demand, some things just take one hell of a lot of effort to produce?
Geriatrics is Debra's specialty, which means most of her patients are old folks like me. So she understands perfectly those issues, after maybe a half hour or so in comes a nurse to help.
Yea, I know. Things like that do not happen in the medical profession, right?
Wanna bet?
Needless to say, they got the sample, it is interesting how someone else's hands feel so much different than your own when it comes to that issue.
It took the gal maybe sixty seconds and she didn't even break a sweat or change expression.
The nurse came in the door, yanked out the sample into a jar, swept back out the door which she shut behind her, leaving me sitting there wondering what in the hell just happened.
I went home that night and sat down and wrote the "Welcome to Medicare" stories. I had to dress it up a bit because the real truth is that is was no big deal, but we authors gotta keep everything as sexy as we can.
The reason I was in her office this time is because I had just rather stupidly made the attempt to do myself in. I was having some of those old chest pains, nothing serious and something I have dealt with for many years.
My solution to that is to chew a couple of Aspirin tablets, that works very well and I can then go back to doing whatever I want to with no discomfort.
Except for one other little problem, it seems I had a blocked artery a few years back and they put in one of those drug coated stent thingies.
Then they told me I had to take Plavix to keep my blood from clotting, that pissed me off when I found out what the shit costs.
Plavix and Aspirin don't mix well, not when the chest pains turn out to be a damned Ulcer.
Yep. Black stool, bleeding internally like a gutted Hog, off to the emergency room for a few days, which I related some of in the first two chapters.
That was funny, too. Nobody believed that nurses could act like that, joke around and tease each other.
Wanna bet?
Now I was feeling fine, they had done the camera down the throat and the camera up the rear end thing, I was out cold for that so I don't remember any of it.
Thank God.
Here I was, pretty much back to normal sitting in Debra's office, she was just checking me out, one of those followups.
I didn't want to be here, I wanted to be out on the jetty fishing, we had a good high tide and the Sea Bass had been right in close to the rocks for a couple of weeks.
I could hang a piece of Sand Shrimp on a number four hook, just a dab of split shot and drop it down into the cracks in the rocks and in just a couple of bounces up and down one of them would....
"Danny?"
"Uhh..yea?"
"That really is you, isn't it? I like your stories." She pressed the issue as I sat there completely at a loss to answer.
"Uhhh...yea. Jeez, I didn't want anybody to..." I muttered.
"It's OK. Relax. I know all about sexual fantasies, that is just a part of life." She turned back to her computer. I leaned forward to peek at the screen.
Literotica.com was up. My story list, 210 of them. Man, have I written that many?
Lord. A porn story site in a Doctor's office? Debra reads porn?
"Debra, how did you....?" I started.
"I was reading the one called "Fisherman" and the description sounded like right around here." She waved her arm aimlessly.
"Oh." No way in hell did she figure it out from just that.
"I know you like to fish out on the jetties, say, that part about picking up the two girls?" She left the question hanging in the air, gave me a sidelong smirk.
"Made it up. Darn it!" I was trying to be funny.
"Thought so. Then I read some others, and I know you used to live up North."
"Yea." I was still blushing furiously.
"Then the one called "Welcome to Medicare?" She looked at me with a big grin again.
"Oh." Still, that was a reach.
"Where did the part about Maria come from?" Yep, she had it figured out that I was the author.
"Made that part up too." I said.
Debra nodded.
"I have seen the scars on your side, I know how that happened, too."
I just nodded.
"Some of your stories I don't get though."
"Yea, I don't know what happens, it just comes out when I start typing. I have been trying to get better, but the more I try the more they seem to hate me."
"You didn't change the names, you didn't change July's name. After that I knew." She let out a little titter.
