The end of senior year had finally arrived, and with it came the much-anticipated trip organized by the school board. Our destination? A tranquil hot spring resort tucked high in the mountains, inspired by traditional Japanese design. My name is Jannet, and at forty years old, I've spent the last two decades as a teacher. As I traveled on the bus with my fifteen graduating seniors, the air was charged with excitement and the kind of pent-up energy that comes with the promise of adventure.
The sun shone down on us through the windows, bathing everything in a golden, warm light. The scent of pine trees wafted in, crisp and clean, as the bus made its way up the mountain roads. I sat staring out of the window, the view going by outside--great pines into great open spaces, the kind that make you feel how small you are, but in the best possible way. I hadn't taken a journey like this in years, and the nostalgia almost got the better of me. Memories of my own adolescence, road trips and laughter, came back with a vengeance. The hours passed by unnoticed, and before I knew it, night was going to set in. We were so close.
I'll admit, I was more than ready for this break. Twenty years of teaching had been my existence, and though it had been fulfilling, it had also taken over. I'd worked so diligently on my students that I'd forgotten about myself. Maybe it wasn't too late to start living life a little more--I mean, traveling, relaxing, and appreciating the things that gave me life.
The bus took one final turn, and the dense forest parted to reveal the resort. It was a tiny but charming structure, with sweeping wooden beams and sloping roofs that gave it a distinctly Japanese appearance. The sun was behind it, setting, and the building glowed softly orange. I felt a shiver of excitement as we descended from the bus.
We had three rooms in total, each of which had the usual tatami mats. There were seven boys and eight girls in the class, and so we divided the rooms accordingly: one for the boys, one for the girls, and one for me, which I shared with two girls, Lara and Jessica, and one boy, David. I would have liked to have had a room to myself, but the arrangement wasn't too bad. The prospect of spending tomorrow bathing in the hot springs, within the quietude of the woods, was worth overcoming the petty annoyance.
At 10 PM, we got settled into the room. The hot springs had to wait. Everyone was spent from the trip, and the room was replete with that kind of quietude born from sheer fatigue. I slipped into pajama shorts in the bathroom, the heat of the evening still in the air. As I gazed about the peaceful surroundings, I experienced a very strange feeling of contentment.
Our room was big in theory, but with the tatami mats pushed so closely together, it was surprisingly cramped. The resort clearly wasn't designed to accommodate this many people in one room. I stretched out on my mat with a book, attempting to relax, but the faint noise of laughter and chatter in the other rooms disrupted my focus. The boys were playing some type of raucous game, their shouts and hollers echoing through the thin walls, while the girls whispered and tittered softly. I sighed, watching my visions of a quiet night of reading dissolve.
My bed spot was against the wall, and to my right was David--a graduate at eighteen who had always been discreet and a little fumbly. Next to him, Lara and Jessica scrolled on their phones, occasionally commenting on whatever trend had caught their eye. David stiffly sat on his mat, staring at his phone, his fingers anxiously tapping.
The room was quiet compared to the pandemonium outside. I glanced over at David and decided I would break the silence.
"Hoping you don't mind staying in this room," I said jokingly, nodding towards the pandemonium. "Sounds like the boys' room is having a proper party."
David looked up, his expression sheepish. "No, it's okay," he whispered. "I guess I would say I like this room... thin walls and all, it's just quieter than theirs."
I smiled. "Yes, I reckon there's no disputing that." My gaze shifted over to his phone. "Goodnight text to your girlfriend, huh?" I teased lightly.
David's fingers stiffened on his screen. His cheeks turned a little red as he hesitated before responding, "Oh... no. I... don't have one." He now spoke in soft tones, almost shy, as if proclaiming it loudly would make it happen.
Lara giggled quietly by his side before shoving Jessica. "Let's go take a look at the girls' room. I'm sick of scrolling." And the two of them left, with David and I left in the darkening room.
There was a moment of silence between us before David questioned again.
"Do you have a husband, Miss Jannet?"
I let out a small laugh at the surprise question. "Oh no... not anymore," I admitted. "I was married once, but... well, things happened, and we divorced about ten years ago." I paused, then continued with a sheepish laugh, "Not that it really matters now. I think I'm well past my youth to be looking for anything."
David's brow furrowed in astonishment, and in a moment of unthinking, he exploded, "No. Not at all! I think you're not past your youth at all. I mean, from where I'm standing, I'd guess you're the most gorgeous and sexie--"
He caught himself, his face burning at what he had just said. His mouth fell open, then shut, his words tangling in embarrassment self-consciousness.
I was struck for a moment. A flush sprang to my neck, unexpected. It had been some time since anyone had complimented me--and definitely not on something so sincere, even if it was awkwardly phrased. There was something sweetly touching about seeing him flail for the right words, his bluntness so unrestrained and unpolished.
I shook my head in laughter in spite of myself. If his girlfriend-to-be appreciates this in him, she's going to have a pretty even-tempered boyfriend.
David had returned to his phone, his fingers tapping gently on the screen, but my own thoughts were no longer in the here and now. His words had stirred something in me, and I began a string of thoughts I hadn't had in far too long.
Perhaps it was time for me to re-enter the dating scene.
I had watched students experience their initial loves and their necessary heartbreak, their adolescent ardor both ephemeral and consuming. I had listened to my colleagues at lunchtime extol weekend getaways with their spouses or recount dear, everyday household stories. And here I was--one decade following my divorce, no serious relationship, no weekend stories of my own.
I had surrounded myself with work, convincing myself that teaching was enough, that I didn't need anything else. But the truth was, I did.
The lack of intimacy was beginning to gnaw at me. There were nights when I'd found myself aimlessly swiping on dating apps, not considering--not even desiring--relationships or friendship, but merely the need for touch. The thought of partaking in a meaningless, physical release had crossed my mind more than once. My libido had always been intense, and while self-satisfaction brought temporary reprieve, it was never enough. I needed something authentic--something I could feel, taste, get lost in.
I gritted against the idea, knowing where my mind was going. My hands tightened on the edge of my blanket as warmth collected deep in my belly. What in the world am I thinking?
The door opened just then, jerking me back to awareness.
Lara and Jessica entered, softly laughing as they moved. I readjusted myself upright again, chiding my own mind silently for fantasizing like this--now of all times, of course, particularly here.
I shrugged off the last remnants of heat from my skin and turned back to my book, forcing myself to read. It did help distract me--briefly.
By midnight, the giggles from the other rooms had stopped. The air was still, the only sounds left being the creaks of the wooden inn and the slow, steady breathing of my students. Lara and Jessica slept, their bodies curled up under their blankets, and David lay still next to me, his phone now black.
Finally. Sleep.
I turned off the light, rolled onto my side, and turned toward the wall, breathing slowly. But without the book to keep me busy, my mind came back, unwanted.
My body still vibrated with unresolved tension, and as I fell asleep, I couldn't help but remember something that had happened a few months prior. When during class I confiscated a phone, a quick glance at the screen before shutting it down--long enough to read a message sent between students.
"Dude, did you see how hot Miss Jannet's is today? That ass, those thighs... she's crazy."
