As I stepped out of the back office to go talk to Bill, my boss, my way was blocked by Suzi Wilson, standing in the middle of the aisle talking to Cathy, the secretary. I heard Suzi say, "... and I'm out of this place as soon as I find a good man to put a baby in my belly."
"Well," I muttered sotto voce, as I walked past, " I'm safe. I shoot blanks."
It was unlikely I was heard, because Suzi never hears anything the first time. As I walked down the hallway, I couldn't help but think about Suzi and what she had said. She looked like a typical air head. Blond hair she fluffs with her hand, blue eyes she flutters all the time, nice rack (about C-cup I guessed), and a body that made grown men weep with desire. She couldn't be stupid. She would not have passed the training if she was. But what a stupid thing to say. Throw away a good job and career to get pregnant and be a Mommy. Hadn't she heard that women were supposed to be independent and liberated?
"Oh, well," I thought, "not my problem!"
Bill was in his office when I got there. I told him how much I needed to get out of the office and back on the road. "OK," said Bill, "I can put you back to work on one condition. You have to have a helper to do all the carrying. I won't take a chance on you hurting your back again."
"Thank you, Bill," I said. "Whatever you want, just let me out of the office."
"Go back to the office today. I'll check the schedules and get you a helper starting tomorrow."
The next day was a beautiful spring day. I was glad to go to work for the first time in three months. Once in the office I had to wait until everyone else got their assignment for the day. Finally, it was just Bill and me.
"OK, Tim," said Bill, "I have an easy assignment for you and here comes your helper now."
I turned around to see Suzi walk in. Hoping my smile was sincere, but not feeling it, I said, "Great!"
Fairly bouncing up and down with excitement, Suzi clapped her hands together and gushed, "Oh, Timmy, I'm so happy we're going to be working together! What can I do first?"
"You can grow up," I thought, but said, "Here, take my keys and start the van. Make sure we have everything we'll need and wait for me to come out. And please don't call me Timmy."
"Okay!" she said, giggling, and turning, wiggled out of the room.
I turned back to Bill. "Please tell me you're joking. I can't put up with that little girl giggle all day long. She can't be the only one you have, can she?"
"Look, Tim, you're the only man in the office who doesn't salivate when she's around. If I put her with anyone else, they wouldn't get any work done. I know it's been rough on you since your wife died, but a grumpy old curmudgeon like you just might be able to calm her down. I'm sorry, but she is the only one I have right now."
"I'll do my best, Bill. Just don't expect miracles."
Out at the van, everything was just the way I had asked for. The van was started and warmed up, all the supplies were stocked, and all the trash had even been thrown away.
"Good job," I said, "would you like to drive?"
She looked so pleased, as if I had given her a gold medal or something. "You're going to let me drive? Oh, neat! No one ever lets me drive, they always act like I don't know how or something. Thank you, Timmy."
"The van is a little tricky to drive. I'll guide you if you need it. Go ahead and get in. We're going to 2590 Industrial Drive. Stop at the 7-11 on Main street and I'll buy you some coffee. And don't call me Timmy."
She got behind the wheel, and, much to my surprise, drove smoothly and safely to the 7-11. I bought her a cup of coffee, and an apple. I offered to buy her a donut, but she said it wasn't healthy. I was impressed.
"You don't drink coffee?" she asked as we got back into the van.
"I do," I said, taking a thermos out of my lunch bag, "but I prefer to brew my own at home and bring it along. 7-11 coffee is always too weak and bitter for me. I grind my own beans and use a French press."
"Oh, wow! I'd sure like to try some."
To an older woman I would have said, "Do you know the difference between sex and fried eggs? I'll make breakfast for you, sweetheart." I didn't want to go there with this Valley Girl, so I said, "I'll bring you some tomorrow."
When there is something that has to be said, the sooner the better. "I have to talk to you about something, Suzi," I said. "I see how the other men in the office act around you. They're like bees around honey. I'll not be like that. I will treat you like an intelligent adult and a respected fellow worker. In exchange, I want you to drop the air head routine. It's really not who I think you are. Do you understand?"
Suzi looked deflated, like a puppy that had been scolded. "Yes, sir, I understand."
"Good," I said. "Now let's get to work."
The job was a simple installation of five DSL lines, plus testing. We were finished by 3:30 PM and since we had nothing else, I had Suzi drive to a remote, shady park, where we could relax until quitting time.
I looked over a Suzi and said, "May I ask you a question?"
"Okay. If I can ask you one."
"Did you mean it when you told Cathy all you wanted was a baby, and then you would quit and be a Mommy?"
Suzi looked embarrassed, "I said a good man and a baby. Yeah, I kinda meant it. What most women want is a good man to love them and to have children. All I've ever wanted to be is a housewife and mother. I know it's not PC, but , damn it, it's what I want." After a pause she said, "Now you answer a question."
"Okay, go ahead," I said.
"What did you mean when you said you shoot blanks?"
"My wife and I had three children. After our son was born, we didn't want any more, so I had a vasectomy. I can no longer impregnate thanks to the wonders of modern surgery."
"That seems so drastic. What if something had happened to one of your children?"
"Additional children will not cure a broken heart from losing one. You can't replace a child. If something had happened, we would have accepted it. We were lucky, our daughters are both grown and married. Our son has a girlfriend he lives with, but they're not ready to marry or have kids yet. I'm happy that my wife was able to see them all grown."
"Timmy, what happened to your wife? You never laugh or smile. Your friends say you were different before."
"My wife was killed in an auto accident by a drunk driver." I was quiet for a few minutes. "And don't call me Timmy."