As Maria and I became closer we began to share experiences, thoughts, dreams, and desires. Except for Myrna I'd never had this kind of close female friend. I'm normally reserved and keep to myself but in a few months I found myself sharing things with Maria I'd never told anyone else - or even admitted to myself.
I told her about how hollow I felt growing up, an abandoned orphan nobody wanted. I told her how it hurt to be ignored in high school and college. I told her all about Bob.
We had a lot of discussions about Bob.
Maria was a good listener. She seemed to understand and encouraged me to open up in a non judgmental way.
One evening was sitting on her deck enjoying my fourth appletini while Hubby cleaned up after another exceptional dinner.
I was pretty toasty; I could hear myself blabbing on and on and laughing as if from a distance, as though I was suspended a bit outside my body. Maria and I were talking about sex.
She shared some of her experiences; I shared mine. I'd told her about the dungeon, which particularly interested her.
"It was nice," I told Maria. "A real sense of power, you know? Just what I needed after Bob."
Maria nodded encouragement. "But not what I'd want as a steady diet," I continued. "No real sex, yuuuck! Plus, whipping men isn't my number one fantasy anyway."
This started a discussion of fantasies. Maria told me she'd fantasized about being taken, not against her will necessarily, but somewhat roughly and urgently. Against the outside back wall of a nightclub, say.
I found myself imagining a man holding me trapped against a brick wall, taking me as I struggled helplessly against him...
It excited me. I felt a familiar wetness and heat, considered asking Maria to "borrow" her hubby tonight.
A few more sips of the vodka. "I fantasize about men," I began. "Not one man, several men." I began to visualize a line of males, naked, lined up at my bed, erect members in front of them like lances, taking turns with me one after the other...
"I suppose," Maria said as I described this debauchery, "It's like my fantasy in a way, isn't it? I mean, you want to have no choice, to know you must do as someone else wishes."
I nodded. "Yeah, I suppose."
We changed the subject; I later excused myself and managed to drive home safely. Mr. Buzzy got a good workout that night as I imagined the men lining up, one after the other having me, the ones waiting cheering and making rude comments about what a slut I was.
The humiliation added burning heat. I hated myself for thinking it but it was true nonetheless. Maria was right - I wanted to be controlled. Owned.
Thinking the word made me climax. I teased myself with it as I moved the vibrator in and out, enjoying the pleasurable sensations. Several men, I thought, lined up, one after the other, taking me, taking turns, holding me down, nothing I could do, I was their...SLAVE...violent orgasm, clasping, thrashing...
Finally I drifted off to sleep.
Maria mentioned my fantasy again the next day at work, casually, in passing. Nobody was around but remembering my shameful thoughts the night before I snapped at her, cross. She left my office with a hurt look.
Over the next few weeks she and I teased around the subject a bit. I apologized for snapping at her. "Oh, that's all right," she told me. "It just means you really want it but it embarrasses you."
I had to agree.
Maria kept on, having me embellish my fantasy. I surrendered to her gentle urgings, adding more details. I told her about the humiliation, how that excited me, thinking of being nothing but a slut to several men, being OWNED (another orgasm, involuntary, on her deck with no stimulation at all).
If I'd known Maria a bit better I'd have known she was the ultimate planner. After a few weeks she stopped prodding me about it. I decided she'd let it go at last.
How wrong I was.
The year ended well. Work was good; bonuses were handed out the beginning of December. Everyone was happy.
Maria insisted I spend Thanksgiving and Christmas at her house. It was warm, friendly. Relaxing.
Now New Year was rapidly approaching. I wasn't dating, still too preoccupied with work. Maria and I kicked a few ideas around. She had family in Miami she told me; suggested we drive down and celebrate New Year's Eve there.
I protested, claiming I didn't want to be a third wheel, but she poo-poo'd that off. "I have a cousin, Carlos," she told me. "He's twenty five and quite the young stud. I'll set it up; he can be your date!"
A fix up! Yuuuch! I didn't want any part of that, but Maria kept pouring appletinis down me and finally I gave in.
So, December 30th we drove to Miami. I insisted Maria let me pay for hotel rooms for us; she arraigned an obscenely expensive suite in a beachfront hotel. I gulped when I charged it on my Visa, but what the hell? I thought, lotta savings, nothing to blow it on.
The suite was really nice. Maria and John moved into one of the rooms; I got the other.
That evening Maria invited Carlos to have dinner with us. Around eight I heard a knock. Maria walked over and pulled the door open. The handsomest man I'd ever seen in my life was standing there. "Maria!" he exclaimed. "Carlos!" Then lots of hugging and rapid Spanish.
Finally Maria led Carlos over to where I was standing on weak knees.
"Staci, this is my cousin Carlos," she said with a twinkle in her voice. "Didn't I tell you he was beautiful? Makes you want to roll over on your back like a little bug, eh, Chica?"
Embarrassed, I stammered a greeting. Carlos took my hand gently - for a wild moment I thought he was going to bend down and kiss it! - then looked down at me with soft liquid brown eyes.